


Love, Loss and Everything in Between

by AllTimePhan73



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Blackmail, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, False Accusations, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, It's generally a heavy story, Kidnapping, M/M, Panic Attacks, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Trauma, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2019-12-18 10:10:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 30
Words: 50,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18247703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllTimePhan73/pseuds/AllTimePhan73
Summary: When everything seems like it's against you, stand taller than the largest skyscraper. Open your mouth wide and scream into the abyss; anything that gives you the adrenaline you need to keep going. Just persevere and, one day, you'll be able to do anything. You've got to start small with baby steps and, eventually, you'll be able to take the large steps of an adult and scream "fuck you!" at the very world that made your life miserable.TW: Look at the tags! (The false accusations are of rape so please be cautious)





	1. Isolation

As the bot raised his sword, Keith darted to the left. His feet moved fast beneath him, making the fight appear more like a graceful dance than an intense battle. His knuckles were wrapped around his knife, holding on so tightly that whiteness had began to blossom across what was once tanned skin. As the bot came to a standstill and began to raise the sword again, Keith ducked and plunged his knife into its chest. A small noise filled the room as the bot collapsed in on itself and began to fade away. "Level five complete. Proceed?" A loud, robotic voice echoed around the room.

Keith opened his mouth to respond but someone else got there first. "End training sequence." The obscure, almost British accent was recognisable from anywhere: Allura. Turning to face the princess, Keith breathed heavily. Sweat was glistening on his forehead, illuminating the white skin and making his black hair stick.

"Allura," He said between breaths. "What are you doing here?" Keith obsessively trained at night, whilst everyone else on the castle was fast asleep. No one was meant to walk in on him. The fact that Allura wasn't asleep and was standing there, dressed in her day clothes, suggested to Keith that something was wrong.

"I need to talk to you." She started, walking around Keith until she was standing in the exact spot the bot had been in. Keith wiped his forehead with the sleeve of his suit, still gripping the knife in his right hand. "I know how you feel about Lance."

Keith's eyes widened and he stumbled backwards. "I- I don't-" He stammered, clammy hands moving to brush against the legs of his armour. Allura was eyeing him closely, her eyes narrowed and her arms folded. She could see right through Keith and his lies.

"Don't deny it, Keith. It's obvious that you have feelings for him."

"I won't let it get in the way of you two," Allura stepped forward, one hand creeping its way around Keith's right wrist. Keith bit his lip, his body stiffening up at the touch. "I'm trying to repress it, okay? I don't want to feel this way either."

"Give me the knife." Her voice was low and menacing but Keith wasn't about to comply. Despite being the authority, Allura didn't have the right to talk to Keith with such a threatening tone. "Keith, give me the knife." Keith darted to the side before Allura could touch him again, his wrist breaking free from her light grip.

"Why should I? I was trying to train before you came in here." Keith muttered, sliding his knife back into its pocket on his suit.

"I could beat you on a one-on-one." Out of the blue, Allura produced her own bayard, the pink object looking fairly innocent before it transformed into a long whip.

"I'm not asking to fight you."

"Then give me the knife. I just want to talk to you."

"I'll drop the knife if you drop your whip." Allura raised her eyebrows but placed the bayard down on the floor in front of her. Keith bent down and put the knife down too.

"You need to stop talking to Lance."

"No, why would I do that?" Keith crossed his arms, his head moving forward to reinforce the question.

"Because you liking Lance is a hindrance," Allura began to run forward until her chest pressed against Keith's and she was able to shove him backwards into the wall. Having practiced hand-to-hand combat, Keith managed to grab Allura's arm and flip her over so that he was on top of her. She let out a huff, grabbing both of Keith's arms with her hands as she attempted to push him off of her. "How would Lance feel if he knew you started a fight with his girlfriend?"

"I didn't start anything," Keith snapped, a fire burning in the pit of his chest. He was always known for his impulsivity and failure to repress his anger. "He'd know that."

"Would he? Everyone knows what you were like before you came to space."

"How the fuck do you know? You didn't know me on Earth."

"The others talk about you all the time," Keith lowered his guard for just a second but it was long enough for Allura to take advantage. Rapidly, she jerked Keith around so that she was on top. "Shiro especially."

"I don't believe you," He gritted his teeth whilst Allura shook her head. "Shiro wouldn't talk about me behind my back."

"You think? Whenever you aren't around, Shiro tells us about how much of a brat you were. How you were troublesome and he only took you under his wing because he felt sorry for you."

Keith let out an inhumane, animalistic growl before using all his strength to push Allura off of him. Allura rolled onto the floor, letting out a loud huff as her back hit the ground. "He took me under his wing because he saw my potential. I was the best pilot in my class."

"That's just what you think," She hadn't tackled Keith again but her smug face was enough to infuriate Keith further. She pulled herself into a sitting position, her arms folded and a half-smirk on her face. "You haven't changed at all. You're still the same angry, bratty, impulsive kid as before. The other paladins know it. That's why they'll believe you started the fight."

"Yeah, right."

"Hey, it's not like you'd care if you lost them all, right? You're used to being the loner, aren't you?"

"Fuck off." Keith muttered, sitting up so he could catch his breath. Allura let out a breathy laugh as she watched Keith hug his legs.

"I think we can make a deal." Raising her head, a smug, tight-lipped smile broke out onto Allura's face. "You isolate yourself from Lance and repress your feelings and I don't tell Lance that you started a fight with me."

"I don't give a shit whether he thinks I started some stupid fight with you."

"Okay, how about we raise the odds? You isolate yourself or I'll tell him about your... feelings."

Keith's jaw tensed up as his body converged towards a statue-like state. He didn't meet Allura's eyes but, instead, kept his gaze fixed on her chest where her arms were folded, insinuating the idea that she was 100% serious. "You wouldn't..." He trailed off, knowing full well that she would.

"I see your feelings are a soft spot for you. Are you willing to test to see if I would or not?"

Silence enveloped the room like an uncomfortable, unwanted hug. Eventually, both Keith and Allura stood up but neither said another word to the other. They picked up their weapons before parting ways.

-

"Keith? Could you go and wake Lance up?" Shiro asked, a small smile tugging at his lips. The man's hair was a mess, the white highlight facing all different directions and integrating with the rest of his black hair. Other than the obvious bed hair, he was well presented for breakfast. He had his black jacket thrown on, zipped right up to the top. It was tight and showed off his impressive body shape, right down to the muscles exuberating his arms. Despite his scruffy appearance, he still came across as authoritative due to the pale scar that ran across the bridge of his nose. To a stranger, it may have made him look like some sort of gang leader as it created a sense of enigma. However, the paladins were aware of Shiro's soft, marshmallow-like personality. He was serious when he needed to be, giving out expert instructions for them to follow without a second thought.

Keith's mouth fell open to form an automatic response but then his gaze met Allura's. The princess was dressed in her dress and it cascaded down to her feet. Her hair had been expertly styled, the curls falling down passed her waist. Her eyes were thin and her mouth pursed, as if she was trying to test Keith. "Actually, I've got to... get changed."

"But you're already-" Shiro started but Keith cut him off.

"I wore this to bed." Keith obviously hadn't worn his cropped jacket, black shirt and skinny jeans to bed but Shiro didn't argue with him. As Keith took off down the halls, he wrapped his left hand around his right wrist and squeezed: a technique that used to help subdue the anger running through his veins. It helped right up until the moment Keith opened the door to his room and collapsed onto his bed.

As he let out a frustrated groan, he buried his head into his bed covers so that it was muffled. He didn't plan on changing, not even to make his stupid lie more believable. He laid there for a few minutes before heading back to the kitchen and acting as innocent as possible with Allura's glare fixated on him. Shiro looked up as he walked in, his eyes scanning Keith's body from the waist of his skinny jeans up to the collar of his jacket, but didn't say anything. It was obvious Keith hadn't gotten dressed.

"How'd everyone sleep?" Hunk asked, a wide grin on his face. He had so much energy, considering he had only been awake for a maximum of half an hour. His thick, black eyebrows were perked up and his soft eyes were glistening underneath the light radiating from the lamp above them. He was the team's giant stuffed teddy bear. He gave amazing hugs and always knew exactly what to say. He was genuine and his advice was the best out of everyone's on board the Castle. As a boy who had never judged a single person in the universe, he made an amazing, caring friend. Lance grunted, his own eyes glazed over with exhaustion as he poked at his food.

"I slept wonderfully." Allura responded. Pidge, Coran and Shiro all hummed in agreement, too busy focusing on shovelling the food into their mouth to accumulate an answer of their own.

"Keith?"

Not expecting Hunk to speak to him directly, Keith tensed up and met the other paladin's gaze. "I hardly slept." He admitted but kept his tone monotonous: that way Hunk wouldn't have to worry. He was known on the ship for being a bit of an insomniac anyway, choosing to stay up and practice training instead of getting a good night's sleep. His reasoning was always that it would pay off in the end when they defeated the Galra (which it probably would). "You really should stop training so late. It can't be good for your health." Keith shrugged, taking a bite of his food goop just to avoid giving another answer. Hunk rolled his eyes and shook his head but soon focused on his own meal as opposed to the conversation.


	2. Angry, Impulsive and Bratty

As Shiro announced that they were going to be practicing one-on-one combat, Keith's hands curled into fists. He glanced around at each of the other paladins, eyes focusing on Lance especially. Hunk and Pidge just shrugged, ready to listen to any instructions and follow them. Allura had her arms folded and was wearing a grin that Keith could only describe as sly. Her arm was wrapped around Lance's waist. Lance wasn't watching Shiro at all but had all of his attention focused on Allura's hand as his thumb rubbed over her palm.

Keith had completely zoned out on Lance's skinny, tanned fingers when his name was said. He blinked as he was thrust back into reality. Shiro was staring at him with one eyebrow quirked upwards as if he was waiting for Keith to say something. Slowly, Keith thinned his eyes and nodded. When Keith didn't move, Shiro repeated what he had said. "You're against Lance. Can you go stand with him, please."

"Lance? I don't think I should fight him." Keith blurted out.

Lance immediately grew defensive. "What? Do you think I'm too good for you or something? Are you scared to fight the team's greatest sharpshooter?" He stuck out his tongue like a little kid but Keith turned his head away, refusing to add onto the joke. Lance's confidence faltered, his shoulders falling back and his face scrunching up slightly.

"Keith, we need a reason or you're going to have to fight Lance." At the sound of Shiro's voice, Keith let out a loud huff as if he had become the child, having a tantrum over something petty. (He couldn't help but contemplate whether Allura was right. Was he still the same angry, bratty, impulsive child?)

"Uh... well Lance fights with guns and I use knives. I'm obviously at an advantage so it wouldn't be fair-"

"Are you now saying I'm not good enough? Keith, I know we're rivals and all but that's just harsh, man."

"I have to agree with Lance," Allura chipped in. Keith just wanted to slap that stupid smile off of her face. "That's harsh. You're meant to be teammates, not enemies."

"Oh, fuck off Allura." Keith hunched his shoulders over, glaring down at his shoes. A gasp was heard from the other paladins but Keith didn't care enough to see who it was. "I'll fight Lance, whatever."

"Keith, are you okay?" When Keith glanced up again, everyone was staring at him. Allura was full on glaring at him; her glare was so spiteful that Keith wondered if it had the ability to kill him. Lance's eyes were furrowed, as if he had expected better from his rival. Hunk, Pidge and Shiro just looked taken aback at his outburst.

"Stop staring at me. I- I'm fine! Just tired."

"You don't have to fight Lance," Shiro ended up saying, "You can fight me."

Keith taped his mouth shut and dragged his feet whilst he headed over to the black paladin. The other couples were announced (Hunk and Lance and Pidge and Allura) and the sparring began.

Keith had an opportunity to transfer all his pent up anger onto his opponent. He didn't have his knife but he didn't need it to win a battle. He had been involved in countless fights as a kid so he knew how to fight as if it was going out of fashion. They got into their stances, a few metres apart with fists raised and ready, whilst Allura counted them in. As soon as she hit one, Keith raced towards Shiro and pressed his hands into his shoulders to tackle him to the ground. They both hit the floor with a great force, the impact shaking them both up.

All Keith could think about was Lance and Allura. He knew they were watching the fight together, probably curled up in each other's arms like some sappy teenage couple. Shiro managed to use Keith being distracted to his advantage, wrapping both of his hands around Keith's wrists. Shiro was older and much stronger than Keith so a shimmy wasn't enough to escape from his grip.

Keith could just about hear Allura whispering to Lance. He couldn't make out the exact words but he could hear her hushed voice. Anger spreading through his veins like blood, he gritted his teeth and used all of his force to push Shiro off of him. Quickly recovering, he jumped up onto his feet and found his favourite battle stance once again: feet shoulder width apart and fists at the ready. His hair was covering part of his vision but a flick of his head was enough to get it out of the way.

Heavy breaths echoing around the small training room, Shiro charged for Keith again. Keith just about ducked out of the way. His movements weren't as quick or graceful as usual and it gave Shiro a massive advantage. As Lance's laugh rang out in the air, Keith blindly swung one of his fists at Shiro. Shiro fell backwards but quickly caught himself, staring at Keith through thin, curious eyes.

Fury still coursing through him as opposed to blood, Keith pressed his hands into Shiro's shoulders and pushed him backwards into the wall. Shiro's eyes scrunched shut as he grunted and tried to push back with a brute force. More whispering caught Keith's attention and Shiro took that moment to push Keith down onto the ground. As Keith was caught entirely off guard, his head smacked against the floor and his vision blurred for a moment. He let out a soft groan, pressing his hand up against his head where it had made contact with the floor.

"Are you okay?" Shiro asked, bending down to inspect the wound.

"Yes, I'm fine. It's not like I've never been hurt during training before." Keith took Shiro's hands and allowed him to pull him up onto his feet. Keith turned to look at Lance and Allura who were showing far too much PDA for his liking. He covered his eyes before mumbling, "Guys, get a room." The words came out with more venom than Keith had anticipated.

"When did you become such a jerk?!" Lance snapped, protectively lacing his hand into Allura's. Lance's hands were larger than Allura's but both were the same, tanned colour. They fit together really well- almost like two puzzle pieces. Keith turned his head to force himself to look away. "All you've done since we've got here is be rude!"

"I'm sorry..." Keith murmured, hands falling to his sides in defence. Lance's hand broke from Allura's as he stormed up to the red paladin, a scowl on his face.

"Have you got a problem with me or something? If you do, just say it."

"No, no. I- I'm just tired." Both went silent as Lance began to stare Keith down, his eyes nothing but thin slits. Keith's eyes were wider, his body stiff as he tried his hardest not to let his weakness come through to the surface.

"I told you that training in the middle of the night wasn't a good idea," Hunk chipped in to break the thick tension. "And Lance, don't take it personally."

"I think we should take a break," Shiro announced, glaring at both Lance and Keith. The colour purple was blossoming across his cheek. It was so prominent that Keith almost felt guilty about it. "Both of you need to cool down. Take five."

Lance immediately started to grumble, grabbing Allura's hand and pulling her out of the training room. Hunk and Pidge lapsed into a conversation whilst Shiro pulled Keith over to the side. "What is wrong with you?" Shiro asked, his eyebrows lowered in concern as he scanned Keith's body for any hints.

"Nothing!" Keith snapped in response.

"Are you sure because you've never snapped at Lance like that before. Did he do something to you? Is that why you're so irritable?"

"No, Shiro, he didn't do anything."

"Okay..." It was obvious that Shiro was still sceptical but, thankfully, he chose not to push it further. Just as Shiro backed down, Lance and Allura re-entered the room, smiling as if nothing had happened. The tension was prominent as they restarted the training.


	3. Half-Breed

The alarm echoed around the halls as Keith was in the middle of training that night. He was already dressed in his armour so he just needed to grab his bayard and then race out of the room towards his lion. Once he made it, he climbed into Red and collapsed into his seat. Reaching forward to grab his controls was almost second nature to him as his lion escaped the castle and flew out into space.

Galra ships surrounded them. The lions were all together in a circle, staring out into the depths of space as they faced the attack. They were being shot at from every angle so decided to split up and face different ships themselves. Green went to the left, Yellow went forward, Blue went backwards, Black stayed in the same position and Red went to the right. Red lurched forward, Keith focusing all of his attention on the one ship in particular heading straight for him. The lion opened his mouth and shot a beam of blinding, blue light, impaling the Galra ship as if it was made out of plastic rather than complex, robust space material.

Commotion erupted on the coms, the sounds of each paladins' yells becoming muffled over the transaction. Keith could hear Pidge yelling, " _They're too strong!_ " and Hunk's, " _I can't handle them all guys!_ " Shiro was silent, obviously trying to push himself as hard as he possibly could. Then there was Lance. Lance was making various grunting noises similar to ones escaping from Keith's pursed lips. Another ship was on Keith's tail. He leaned forward and moved the controls so that the lion could race ahead. The Galra ship wasn't as speedy as the red lion so it was easily outrun. Keith swerved around so rapidly that he almost fell out of his seat but his reactions were enough to take the ship down with another blast.

As the others were getting their situations more under control, the coms quietened down a substantial amount. Red wasn't the direct target of any ships and so took the opportunity to help Lance who appeared to be struggling the most. He was surrounded by Galra ships that were shooting at him without any mercy. Lance was screaming, " _Guys!_ " over and over again, desperately in need of some assistance.

A larger Galra ship came into view, its canons charging up and glowing with blue light. They were shaking until a large beam was released, directed straight for Lance. "Lance, no!" Keith yelled, jolting forward and crashing into Blue. Lance let out a loud snap at Keith for being so careless before realising Red had taken the mass of the hit from the ship. It was powerful enough to shake the entirety of Red and cause Keith to collapse out of his seat, his head hitting against the front. His eyes fell shut.

"Keith's down!" Lance yelled once he realised what had happened. His voice cracked as he repeated the exclamation over and over again. It was as if he thought it would make the other paladins move faster.

"Lance, get it together! We'll get Keith to a healing pod as soon as we can! We need to destroy these ships first!" Shiro said, voice full of authority, despite the anxiety that was actually manifesting in the pit of his chest. They had to keep going and persevere if they wanted to defeat the fleet and protect the castle.

A sob arising in his throat, Lance pushed Blue forward and continued to fight. For Keith.

-

When Keith fell out of the healing pod into someone's arms, he expected it to be Shiro but the arms weren't muscle-y enough to belong to Shiro. He forced his eyes open to glance upwards and meet the eyes of the person who had been waiting for him to wake up. Allura. As soon as eye contact was made, Allura let go of Keith and watched him collapse onto the ground as a result of his legs that felt like jelly. Groaning loudly, he used the wall to pull himself up.

"Stop hitting on my boyfriend!" She instantaneously yelled, her voice making Keith's head pound. Keith squinted, pressing one hand up to his hot forehead.

"Hitting... on..." Keith trailed off, attempting to piece together what had happened in his head. All he could remember was being attacked by a Galra fleet and then... Lance. Right, he had protected Lance from being impaled with a laser beam. "How is saving his life hitting on him?!"

"Shiro was about to get there! You should have let him handle the situation. Now you've just drawn attention to yourself."

"Fucking hell, Allura. I was just trying to be a good person. Since when was that a crime?"

"When my boyfriend got involved. I hope you know your little secret is very close to being revealed. I bet you wouldn't like that, would you?"

Keith tensed up, his entire body relying on the wall to keep himself balanced. Allura was standing tall, her chin struck out and her arms folded. Her long hair was tied up into a messy bun and she was wearing her dress again but, still, she managed to look as intimidating as a Galran soldier. Maybe even more intimidating. "Allura... would you have preferred for him to be hit?"

"That's not what I'm saying. Shiro would have protected him instead."

"Are you going to tell Lance?" His voice wavered, connoting desperation. Desperation wasn't a word that should have been used in the same sentence as Keith's name or pronoun: he was meant to be the most emotionally strong person on the team. Being rendered so weak and hopeless was embarrassing for him.

"I don't think so. Keeping you on your toes is rather entertaining." Allura grinned, her teeth shining obnoxiously beneath the lights of the med bay.

"Can you tell me something?" Allura hummed as a response, her head tilting to the side. "You don't... You aren't hurting Lance, are you?"

"I don't know who you think you are, Keith. Accusing me of hurting someone I love..."

"Answer the question, please."

"No, no, I don't. I wouldn't stoop that low."

"Yet you'd stoop as low as to blackmail someone?"

"You make it out like I'm some sort of monster for only wanting the best for my boyfriend. I don't want you to cause unnecessary trouble."

Keith let out a loud huff, finally gaining the feeling back in his legs. He stepped forward so that his chest was grazing Allura's in a way that was borderline threatening. Allura's breath was heavy and warm against Keith's neck. "Blackmailing someone is never the right thing to do, Allura, and you know it. You're meant to be the princess of Altea; can you imagine how the other paladins would react if they found out you were doing this?"

"Don't you dare bring Altea into this," Allura's voice was so sharp that Keith was almost impressed when it didn't cut his skin. Her tone was full of poison, the type that could kill anyone- human or alien. "That was disgusting of you." Her hands found her way to Keith's broad shoulders, laying down on top of them with such a harsh grip that Keith was almost pained. She shoved him backwards, her arms visibly shaking.

"I'm just asking you to stop this... Lance wouldn't want you to be behaving in this way either."

"Lance also wouldn't like to know a certain half-breed had a crush on him, would he? Can you imagine... he might hate your guts... If you two really stop getting on, maybe I could find a way to kick you off of the team."

Keith's hands curled into fists at his sides at the mention of the derogatory ' _half-breed_ '. He gritted his teeth and held back the spiteful words arising in his throat. Arguing wasn't going to get him anywhere. "You wouldn't." He went for instead.

"Watch me. I have much more power than you here, Keith. I'm the princess. Everyone on this ship will listen and bow down to me. Not you. Especially not with your Galran genes..."

"Please don't do this, Allura."

"I won't. You just need to isolate yourself from everyone. Especially Lance."

"I'm trying but it's kind of difficult when they're my teammates." Allura grabbed Keith's arm and twisted it around his back. He grunted at the sharp pain that travelled up to his shoulder, biting down on his lip to hold back a shout.

"You're going to do it or Lance is going to find out you like him."

Reluctantly, Keith nodded. Allura released his arm with a satisfactory grin on her face that spread right from one cheek to the other. During the encounter, his hands had clammed up so he wiped them against the thighs of his jeans. He turned to leave, his heart beating faster in his chest than he would have liked to admit.

"And Keith?" He turned his head, his hair falling against his face and blocking the vision of his left eye. "Don't expect me to go soft on you either. You know what I think of you and your... heritage."

"Yeah, I do."

"You're disgusting and I'm ashamed to have someone like you on my team."

Keith swerved around because attacking his personality and relationship status was one thing but attacking his fighting skills and heritage was another. "The team does not belong to you." He snapped, jaw tense. "Your dad may have built Voltron but he'd have been disappointed in how you turned out. Blackmailing is a low even your father would have hated you for. And, for your information, I can fight. I am an asset. I know I'm one of the best out of us because fighting is the one thing I am able to do to. I lost my parents young so I learnt to cope on my own and I learnt to fend for myself. I can fight and that is the one thing I won't let you attack me for." Allura looked taken aback at the outburst, her eyes wide and her hands raised in front of her in defence.

"Sensitive subject, huh?"

"The fact that that was your response is pathetic, Allura. You can't even defend yourself. That's low."

"I'm going to tell him if you don't shut up."

"Go on then. Tell him. Why should I care?!" Keith's voice had raised to such a deafening volume that he was surprised the other paladins hadn't checked in on them to find the source of the commotion. His face had turned the colour of his uniform and his entire body was shaking like a leaf in a strong gust of wind.

"He's going to hate you and then you won't have anyone. He'll leave you just like your parents did because no one loves you, Keith. No one ever will love a half-breed like you." Keith chose not to respond before storming out of the med bay with heavy, angry footsteps. As he reached the end of the corridor, he just about heard Allura scream, "You only didn't respond because you know it's true."

Maybe it was true. Maybe no one would ever love Keith because he had the genes of a civilisation that had caused nothing but chaos for the entire universe. Why would different cultures ever accept someone who was part Galra as a defender of the universe?

Fighting back tears, Keith pressed the button to open the door of his room. Once he was inside and sure the door was locked, he curled his hands into fists and slammed them into his innocent pillow. He repeated the action over and over again until he was gasping for breath. His heart was pounding like a drum inside his chest but it was completely out of rhythm. He choked out a loud sob before praying that nobody had heard him.

"Fucking Allura," He grumbled before burying his head into his pillow and letting out a bellowing scream. He punched the bed again, as if trying to murder the inanimate object. It was a poor attempt at transferring his ire into his bed. "Fucking Lance." Keith leaned forward, his shoulders hunched as his entire body shook with sobs. "I hate them both so much."

But he didn't. He didn't hate Lance. He wanted to- damn it, he wanted to- but something about him just made hating him impossible. Lance couldn't do anything wrong. He was smart; even if he attempted to hide it, it came through when they were doing missions and got themselves stuck in seemingly impossible situations. Lance was kind and selfless, going out of his way to help everyone whenever he could. He was always the one to check that Pidge got to bed on time; to taste test Hunk's recipes; to ensure Shiro's nightmares weren't getting too out of hand; to give comfort to Allura whenever she sought it; to discuss Coran's homesickness with him... He used to be the one person to tell Keith when the training was too much but that had stopped when he got with Allura.

As if Lance couldn't get any more perfect, he was also an amazing fighter. His knowledge and skills with guns were impeccable, something that Keith couldn't even begin to compete with. Being known as the team's 'Sharpshooter' was a large title but Lance wore it with pride, meeting (and exceeding) all the expectations of the team and the others in the universe. He could crack a joke, even at the worst times, just to soften the tense atmosphere. One of the paladins could be on their deathbed and he'd have slipped in a pun or joke to make sure they were able to find humour in such a dreadful situation. So he didn't hate Lance. He couldn't.

The person he hated the most wasn't Allura: it was himself. He was meant to be a rock, the person to stay strong and emotionless throughout everything. He had lost his mother and father so long ago: he didn't understand emotional or physical comfort. He had learnt to bury his feelings into a hole because they were meaningless. They didn't matter. Keith didn't matter.

He was meant to be stronger than that. He wasn't meant to beat the living crap out of his pillow because someone- his friend's girlfriend of all people- was trying to take control over his life. As someone who had been through so much, _Keith_ was meant to have control over his own life. Not some low-life, princess trying to blackmail him.

A soft knock on the door extracted Keith from his own thoughts. He lifted up his head, sniffed and then asked who was bothering him. He kept his voice as emotionless as possible: he didn't need another paladin making fun of him and asking him what was wrong.

"Uh... it's Lance. I think we should talk." Lance said, his own voice shaking.

"Fuck off." Keith uttered, pulling his legs up onto the bed and hugging them tightly. He buried his head into his knees, his breathing shallow as he continued to silently cry.

"I'm coming in..." Around thirty ticks passed. "Okay, it's locked. I'm still going to talk to you though." The sound of quiet fumbling filled the air as Lance was obviously making himself comfortable outside. Keith found himself standing up on shaky legs, heading over and sitting with his back to the door. Lance was the other side, in the same position. "Allura told me about your... your feelings."

"Bitch..." Keith murmured so that Lance couldn't hear.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Uh, okay... I just wanted to say I'm cool with it. I mean, I can't help my handsome good looks, can I?" Keith could imagine Lance's smirk and he couldn't help but shake his head at the thought. "I hope you at least smiled because that was a joke. I swear I'm not that cocky."

"I know..." Keith brought a hand up and wiped his eyes.

"I'm not angry at you and I certainly don't hate you. I mean, I don't think you're Allura's favourite person but I wouldn't blame her. I think she's scared I'm going to leave her for you or something. I'm sorry but I can't see that happening. I love her so much. I think we're going to get married someday."

Of course. The tears reappeared in Keith's eyes as he leaned over and let out another sob. It wasn't as if he had any hope remaining but sometimes imagining a world where Lance returned the feelings was comforting. The fact that Lance was so adamant on _not_ liking Keith hurt. It was like Lance had picked up Keith's favourite knife and stabbed him in the chest with it; slowly so that it hurt all the more.

"Okay, that may not have been the best thing to say. I just don't want to give you false hope, man. You're a cool dude and I actually do like you a lot. Just... not like that, okay? I don't want things to change between us and I'm sure you don't either so I don't mind pretending this didn't happen. No one would even need to know except me, you and Allura. That alright?"

"Yeah... I'm so sorry, Lance."

"Hey, it's okay. You know, if you let me in, I could give you a hug..."

"I- I'd rather not."

"Okay. I respect your decisions." Lance shuffled outside of the room, presumably standing up. "Just don't bottle things up, Keith. Something has seemed really off with you lately and, if it has something to do with your feelings for me... I'm sorry. Just know you can always talk to me... about anything. I mean it."

"Thanks, Lance."

"No problem. I know I call us rivals all the time but I consider you my friend. Potentially one of my best friends but don't tell Hunk that. He might get offended. I should probably go now. My face doesn't get this handsome without my beauty sleep."

As Lance walked away, Keith wiped away his tears with his sleeve. Lance continued to be perfect, even after he had found out about Keith's unrequited love for him.


	4. The Accusation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note: I added another trigger warning to the description of the book. Allura basically falsely accuses Keith of rape so be prepared for that.

When Keith walked into the kitchen for breakfast, he was fully aware that he looked like a mess. He hadn't bothered to even run a hand through his hair so it was sticking out in every direction and he was still wearing his pyjamas. Usually, he was the first person in his armour and ready to train. He hadn't trained the previous night due to his impromptu breakdown but that still didn't mean that he got a sufficient amount of sleep. His brain had kept him up all night, reminding him of how perfect Lance was and how much Keith didn't deserve him. Thanks to the erratic thoughts, he looked like a panda bear with the bags surrounding his eyes.

He went to sit in his usual seat (between Hunk and Shiro) but it was preoccupied by somebody else. Lance. "Uh... that's my seat..." Keith murmured, hanging his head so his exhausted state wasn't so obvious to everyone.

"Since when did we have assigned seats? Are we back at the Garrison or something?" Lance joked, a wide, cocky grin on his face. Keith forced a laugh before awkwardly sitting down in the only spare seat beside Allura and Coran.

"Keith," Allura immediately whispered, turning her head so that only Keith could hear. "I need to talk to you after breakfast. It's important."

Without bothering to look at Allura, Keith nodded. He picked up the Altean cutlery before digging into his meal. Every so often, out of the corner of his eye, he could see Lance staring in his direction but he assumed he was looking at Allura. Breakfast was oddly silent. Lance was usually the person who guided the conversation with his witty comments and ability to talk enough for everyone in the room. Instead, he had his lips pursed and was hardly touching his food. His gaze diverted between his food goop and Allura and Keith could just about see his leg bouncing beneath the table. Something was bothering him.

Keith couldn't help but blame himself. Lance had been okay right up until the point he found out about Keith's feelings for him. Then everything had become awkward and tense. Losing his appetite as a result of the thoughts, he pushed his plate forward and stood up. He mumbled something about needing to shower before rushing out of the room.

Allura must have followed him at the speed of a bullet because he was being cornered before he could even make it to the showers. Upon seeing the princess, he backed up against the wall and raised his hands in defence. "This is all your fault." Her voice was sharp as she pressed her hands into Keith's shoulders.

"What is? What did I possibly do?" Keith retorted with an equal amount of edge to his voice. Allura's eyebrows furrowed and her face scrunched up in a kind of anger that deserved a word much worse than resentment.

"He doesn't hate you."

"Oh, I'm sorry that your boyfriend is a good person... unlike you."

"Keith, I think you should shut up."

"Or what? You don't have anything against me anymore."

Allura scowled, grabbing a fistful of Keith's pyjama shirt. The look on her face was murderous. "I can ruin you and we both know it."

"Do we?"

"I hate you so much, Keith. I don't think you understand. Lance doesn't hate you and that means you are still a threat to me. I need to get rid of you."

"And how are you going to do that?"

"Just you wait, Keith. Just you wait."

"Okay..." Keith pursed his lips, reaching his hands up to push Allura away from him lightly. "Can I shower now?"

"You better watch your back."

"Whatever, Allura."

-

What Keith didn't expect when he walked into the training room after his shower was an abundance of glares. Every single person- with the exception of Shiro- was looking at him with an identical look of furrowed eyebrows and a scowl. Shiro just looked disappointed with a hint of concern on the side. "What?" He asked, switching his gaze between everyone but lingering on Lance and Shiro especially.

"You know what you did." Allura sobbed into her hands. Everyone flurried around her, wrapping their arms around her body.

"I'd be delighted to know." Keith snapped, angling a glare at Allura. It didn't help his case.

"You- You- You tried to-" Allura wailed, hiding her head in Lance's arm. Keith's jaw tensed as he backed up and clenched his hands into fists.

"Please tell me what I did because I certainly don't know."

"You tried to force yourself on me... I just wanted to talk to you but you obviously hate me because- because your crush likes me and not you."

"Oh fuck off..." Keith shook his head, rolling his eyes dramatically. Once he realised everyone's gazes remained equally stern, he let out a harsh laugh. "I don't believe this. Lance, you've known me since we went to the Garrison. I wouldn't do that kind of thing... I might be a bit impulsive and start fights but I wouldn't try to rape somebody... Especially not my friend's girlfriend."

"Uh, Keith. I think you should go to your room whilst we figure out what to do..." Shiro said, sounding just as authoritative as ever. It hurt. Keith had been through so much and Shiro had always been the one person to stick by his side and give him the determination to keep going. Knowing he thought Keith could be capable of such a crime made it feel like someone had shot a bullet through his heart.

"Shiro, you know me. You've known me forever. I thought you, of all people, would trust me."

"I'm sorry, Keith. Please go to your room."

"I didn't do anything! I swear! Allura's been blackmailing me and this is part of the plan! She's trying to get me to leave!"

Allura started crying louder, her tears drenching the shoulder of Lance's suit. "Please make him go away..." She choked out; her act was impeccable. Keith would have believed her if he was in the dark like the other paladins.

"This is unbelievable."

"Keith." The warning tone in Shiro's voice was enough to make Keith turn around and storm out of the room. Keith had known Shiro since he was an angry, unhappy kid and he had never used such a tone on Keith. Shiro always tried to keep a level head and not jump to conclusions until he had heard everyone's sides of the story. Just the fact that Shiro hadn't bothered asking him what happened was enough for Keith to get the message. Nobody trusted him. Why would they? Allura was a princess; a respectable person of royalty. What reason did she have to lie about something like that?

As Shiro had instructed, Keith headed back to his room but he didn't stay there. As soon as he had gotten his bayard and a spare change of clothes, he made a beeline for the escape pods. He'd have taken Red but Voltron was still needed, even if he wasn't a part of it. He clambered into the pod, dropping his stuff onto the floor by his feet. Tears stung his eyes as he powered up the pod and left the Castle.

All he could feel was anger. He thrust the controls forward without even bothering to consider the direction he was going in. It didn't surprise him that everyone favoured Allura's decision over his, even though he hadn't done anything.

"Fucking Allura. I hate her so much." Keith grumbled as he flew forward, his hands gripping the controls so tightly that his hands were tinting a white colour. The tears were blurring his vision but all he cared about was escaping the situation. He couldn't stay with a team who didn't care for his opinion.

Keith was used to being alone anyway. Having survived without parents for so long, he could do it again. It didn't matter that he had gotten used to Shiro's paternal behaviours or Pidge's intelligent facts and arguments. It didn't matter that he had gotten used to Hunk's bizarre foods or Coran's wacky facts about Altea. It didn't matter that he had gotten used to having people who loved him- or who he thought loved him.

He powered on, despite the ache in his chest. Keith was aware of how useless he was. How worthless. How unloved. He couldn't help but wonder if anyone would care if he purposely opened the pod and took off his helmet so he could suffocate. At least he'd suffocate in the one place he felt love for the first time.

Trembling hands reached out for the button that opened the doors, feeling the plastic-like material. Keith's breath hitched as his shoulders hunched over. Pressing the button was easy. All he had to do was put a little more pressure on it but something was stopping him.


	5. Silence

Shiro could feel that something wasn't quite right with Allura's story. He had known Keith since he was a teenager and knew that he wasn't capable of doing something so horrible. Keith did have some discipline issues but it wasn't anything that dire. That was the reason he ended up strolling to Keith's room to find out his side of the situation. Wondering if it was all just a massive misunderstanding, he raised his hand to knock.

When he didn't receive a response, he said, "Hey, Keith? I want to know your side of this. It doesn't seem like something you'd do and I just want to know if everything's alright. You don't even need to face the others. It's just me and I'm not going to judge you. I just want to know the truth, okay?"

He slumped against the door and waited for Keith to say something in response. Anything at all. Nothing. 

"I understand that you want space and you're angry but I really think you should talk to me about it. I've suspected that something was wrong for a while... Bottling it up isn't the best idea, Keith. It never is, okay? I don't want you falling into the way you were before I helped you. Is it okay if I come in? We don't even need to talk about this. I just need to see that you're okay."

Silence.

"Say something at least, Keith. Please..." 

Silence.

Shiro's hand hovered over the button to open the door. It took him a long moment before he pressed it and the door flew open. He expected to see Keith on the bed but it was perfectly made and there wasn't a single sign of him anywhere. "Keith?" Terror rushed through Shiro as he checked Keith's bathroom and couldn't find him. "He's gone..." He raced out into the corridor, sprinting back to the training room where the others were. "He's gone!" He exclaimed. Each of the paladins turned to look at him, eyes laying on his red cheeks and heavily rising and falling chest. 

"What do you mean?" Hunk asked, eyebrows raised in concern.

"He wasn't in his room. We need to find him. I- I don't know what he'd have done but we all know how impulsive he is. What if he's done something stupid?" Tears were beginning to well up in Shiro's eyes as he spoke, realising just how serious the situation was. 

"Okay," Hunk got up onto his feet, deciding that Shiro wasn't in the state of mind to be the authority figure in the situation. "I'll go check the training room. Pidge, you check the kitchen. Lance, you stay here with Allura. Shiro, you should check on Red; make sure the lion is still there in case he has done a runner. Coran, check the escape pods. Any signs of where he is, find the others, okay?"

"Got it." Pidge said; it was soon followed with a chorus of ' _okay_ 's. They each raced off in their own directions. Shiro rushed to the hangers, just to see Red had his shield up around him. The lion was loudly roaring, the amplified noise shaking the entire room. 

"Red, where is he?" Shiro murmured, pressing his hand up against the shield. He used his other hand to wipe away the tear that had just managed to escape. Shiro stood there with the lion, just watching the lion rampage and trying to figure out what to do about it. The lion's head was waving around and he was stomping his feet as hard as the ship possibly could.

As another set of footsteps echoed around the hanger, Shiro twisted around. Coran was standing behind him, twisting his ginger moustache in a way that implied anxiety. "What?" Shiro gasped out, his bottom lip wobbling.

"He took an escape pod." Coran simply said, a deep frown covering his face.

"Are you sure it was him?" Coran's slow nod broke Shiro's heart into a billion pieces. He let out a loud sob, running into Coran's arms and burying his head into his neck.

"We can find him, Shiro. I promise. There are trackers on all of the pods."

At least they had received _some_ good news. Shiro backed out of the hug and brought his hand through the white fluff of his hair. "I'm sorry for breaking down like this. I- I just care about him a lot. I know I should be stronger as the leader but- but-"

Coran hushed him with a small, empathetic smile on his face. "It's okay."

-

Pidge stared at the large screen in front of them, using their index finger to type something.

Lance and Allura were sat in the corner of the room, practically sitting on top of each other. Allura had long since stopped crying but her eyes were puffy and bright red. Shiro was tentatively watching Pidge over their shoulder, even though he didn't understand what they were doing. Hunk was also following Pidge's rapid typing but he understood what was going on much more than the black paladin.

"Are you almost done?" Shiro asked, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

"Yes, just hold on." Pidge murmured, tapping more symbols on the screen. The room lapsed into silence until Pidge stood up and mumbled a tiny, 'yes!'

"Have you got him?"

"Yep. He isn't far away. The pod seems to be... still."

"Do you think he abandoned it?"

"I wouldn't think so. I'll go check it out."

"I'm coming with you." Pidge was about to argue but Shiro's tone suggested there wasn't any room for argument. They explained what was going on to the others before racing down to the green lion's hanger so they could find Keith as soon as possible. Shiro basically threw himself into the lion whilst Pidge sat down at a more respectable speed. Pidge grabbed the controls and set off. They were going to find Keith; no matter what.

-

Keith stopped the escape pod in the middle of space. He peered out of the small window but all he could see was an endless array of stars. There wasn't a planet or another ship in sight. His eyes moved to the button again. It was red, standing out over all of the other buttons that were lighter, more boring colours such as white or black. Without putting much thought into it, he slammed his hand down onto it.

The door opened up and Keith began to float. His helmet meant he still had a small supply of oxygen but he wasn't sure how long that was likely to last. He shut his eyes, remembering back to all of the zero-gravity simulators back at the Garrison. He had always found the lightness relaxing. 

It would be easy for Keith to just press the button on his helmet to release all of the oxygen but he didn't want that. He wanted peace. The only sound he could hear was his own, shallow breathing. Keith wondered if there was a tracker on the ship. Alteans were extraordinary with their technology so it only made logical sense for them to have installed such a simple device on it. Biting his lip, Keith decided to jet pack away. His pack was weak so he moved at an agonisingly slow pace. 

A long time had passed but he still hadn't moved very far. Exasperated, he gave up. Just as he was accepting his fate, a ship came into his view. A green lion ship to be specific. Keith's shoulders sunk as it got closer. The green lion's mouth opened as Keith was taken inside. 

"Why couldn't you just leave me alone?!" Keith immediately snapped as his eyes laid upon Pidge and Shiro. Shiro looked immensely relieved as he brought Keith into a long, comforting hug. Keith really wanted to push him away but found himself melting into the hug and appreciating the warmth of it. 

"Don't you dare run away like that again." Shiro scolded, rubbing circles into Keith's back. Pidge watched them with a fond expression on their faces: eyebrows lowered and a small smile. "You need to tell us what you think happened."

"Allura's a bitch. Lance deserves better than her..." Keith murmured, burying his head into Shiro's neck and taking in his citrus-like scent. Shiro always reminded Keith of home, even if Shiro had hardly been with him for half of his life.

"You may need to elaborate."

"A while ago she figured out that I liked Lance. She used it to blackmail me into pushing Lance away. She was horrible about my heritage and said stuff about my parents leaving me and it pissed me off. In the end I just told her to tell Lance. She did and he was okay with it. I assume she didn't like that because she freaked out at me. I guess that's why she decided to lie about me forcing myself on her."

"I knew you wouldn't do something like that," Shiro shook his head in an incredulous way. "I tried to find you after she told us. I wanted to talk to you about what happened because I knew that just wasn't... you. You weren't in your room and I freaked out a bit."

"By a bit, he means he was sobbing erratically." Pidge chipped in with a sly smirk on their face. It almost represented Allura's but it was much more endearing and playful. It made Keith feel relaxed; safe.

"Thanks Pidge... I just... Keith," They separated from the hug but Shiro's hands remained loosely around Keith's waist. "You're like a little brother to me. I was terrified to lose you. If you ever pull a stunt like that again-"

"I don't think I will... I didn't think anyone on the team valued me but... just the fact that you came to find me... It shows that you care about me." Keith broke out into a large smile, his eyes shining with tears for what felt like the hundredth time that day. He pulled Shiro back into a hug, just to remind himself that he was loved. Maybe he wasn't loved by everyone and his crush didn't reciprocate his feelings but that didn't matter. Having just one person love him was enough.


	6. Backstabber

Keith hung his head as they entered the main area of the Castle where everyone else was waiting for him. Lance instantaneously walked up to him, a long scowl spread across his face. His usually tanned cheeks were a furious red colour. "Who do you think you are?" He snarled, grabbing Keith's shirt and pulling him so close that their chests were pressed together.

"Let him go, Lance." Shiro commanded, raising his eyebrows so Lance knew to take him seriously. The blue paladin let out a rage-filled huff, letting go but keeping his guard raised. "He didn't do anything to Allura."

"How do you know that?! Allura said-"

"Allura, tell him the truth."

Everyone turned to look at the princess who didn't look at all happy. Her Altean markings were glowing brightly on her cheeks, illuminating the redness spread out around them. "He tried to rape me!"

"We know he didn't... You've been blackmailing him, haven't you?"

"No!"

"Is this true?" Lance asked, his voice becoming devoid of all rage. He turned to look at the princess, his wide, innocent eyes full of confusion. 

"Of course it isn't, Lance... Why would I lie about something like that?"

"You tell me."

"Keith's the liar!"

"No, no, he isn't. I knew Keith wouldn't do something like this. He may be a hot head but he wouldn't hurt someone like this. I'm such an idiot."

"Lance, please..."

"No, no... I don't want to be with you anymore, Allura. I thought you were a sweet, beautiful person but it turns out you're a backstabber. I can't be with someone like that." Lance's breath hitched before he stormed out of the room, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Allura turned to Keith, instantly screaming, "I hate you so much!" before running in the other direction. Keith stepped forward to chase after Lance but was stopped by a hand on his arm. He turned to see Shiro was watching him with sympathetic eyes. 

"I think we should give them space."

Keith wanted to argue but decided it was best to stay quiet.

-

Allura didn't make an appearance at breakfast. Lance hardly said a word and all he was doing was pushing the goop around on his plate. Discreetly, Keith was watching him. He watched how Lance's eyebrows were furrowed, his face was pale and how red had blossomed around both of his eyes. Hunk and Pidge were the only ones actually eating but even they were eating at a much slower pace than usual.

"I think we should talk about the elephant in the room." Shiro said out of the blue. Everyone was already exhausted of the awkward silence and talking was always a good solution. 

Coran jumped to his feet, glancing around the room and blurting out, "Where's the earth elephant? I'll fight it!" He thrust out his fists, eliciting a round of small, weak chuckles. Lance, who usually appreciated a joke during a tough time, just glared into his food as if it was the sole reason Allura turned out to be a bitch.

"There isn't a real elephant, Coran. It's a figure of speech."

"You earthlings and your figures of speech." Coran mumbled, shaking his head as his cheeks flushed red. Once he sat down, Shiro stood up so that he could speak. Shiro was one of the only people actually wearing something other than his pyjamas. He was suited up, the paladin suit giving him the illusion of a higher authority. Along with that, he had actually brushed his hair that morning so it was flat against his face; as opposed to Lance's which stuck up as if it had come in contact with static. It might have been a humorous sight had the tension in the air not been thick.

"What are we going to do about Allura?" He asked, glancing around at the group. They were poor excuses for paladins. It would have been the optimum time for a Galra attack. They were weak, slow and under the weather. Lance obviously hadn't bothered with his skin routine: something that he hadn't skipped the entire time they had been in space. It was something that Lance was always proud of; something he'd keep going even when everything was falling apart. Keith was immensely distracted, his gaze fixated on the blue paladin with shining eyes full of concern. Pidge and Hunk weren't quite themselves either, gaze continuously diverting between Lance and Keith, as if trying to figure out exactly how they were feeling. Coran was the most like himself but something was still off with him as he was clearly worried about the princess.

"She should be kicked off of the team." Keith said, abrupt. Lance's leg was bouncing up and down under the table and he was tapping the fingers of his left hand against the tabletop. 

"We can't be hasty with something like that. We need Allura to fly the castle and, I hate to say it, but she's actually good with combat."

"At the moment she's a hindrance. Everyone's morale is down because of her." Keith snapped back, hands curling around the table edge. He was gripping onto it as tightly as possible, his knuckles tinting a pure white. 

"Yes but the Castle is important to us! We wouldn't be able to fight without it. Keith, you can't let your impulsivity guide your decision now. Think long term advantages."

"Easy. The long term advantage is that the team will be happier. A happier team works harder."

"I understand that she needs to be punished but we can't kick her out of her own castle. Can we?"

"No," Coran spoke up, surprising the entire table. He wiped some excess food away from his moustache before continuing to speak. "Out of respect for Altea and her father, we cannot kick her out of the Castle. I think we should just make sure someone has an eye on her at all times."

"Maybe if she tries to pull another stunt we should call her out on it again and kick her off the ship."

"I think that's fair." Coran reluctantly smiled, his eyes darting from Shiro to Lance who was still fidgeting like he used to when he was stuck in a boring class. His shoulders were swaying from side to side and his tapping was yet to falter.

"I need to talk to her." The blue paladin announced out of nowhere, his voice wavering. He stood up, abandoning his food that looked more like soup because of how much he had been poking at it. 

"Wait, Lance, I think-" Shiro started but it was too late: Lance had already stormed out of the kitchen.


	7. Nothing Happened

Alarms blared out, ringing at a deafeningly loud volume. Keith jumped up off of his bed, grabbing his bayard and breaking out into a run towards the hangers. His footsteps were silent compared to the alarms. Panic didn't emerge: Keith was entirely used to random attacks. Once he reached the hanger, he climbed into Red and set off. He got into formation beside Yellow and Blue, ready to attack. Laser beams were being shot at them from all directions. Blue was last out of the castle and seemed to be moving erratically but the important thing was that he was there. 

Powering forward in different directions, the lions separated. Keith was being circled by a large amount of the ships that were ruthlessly shooting at him. He grunted as he jerked the controls to the right, planning on getting the ships in a more vulnerable position. The sound of Lance's muffled swearing travelled through the coms but Keith was too busy fighting his own battle to check on him.

"They just keep coming!" Pidge screeched, their voice high pitched and full of panic. Keith gritted his teeth, putting even more power into the controls but without any luck. 

"We need to form Voltron!" Shiro commanded. Red backed up, turning around to find the positions of the others. Black was in the least vulnerable position so he lurched forward, rushing over to the other lion at the quickest pace possible. Each individual paladin yelled out, releasing long groans as their lions came together to form Voltron.

Nothing happened.

"Someone's distracted! Everyone needs to focus!" Pidge scrunched their eyes shut, powering ahead. Hunk could feel nausea rumbling in his stomach but pushed his controls forward. Shiro was biting down on his bottom lip, yelling out commands as he persevered. Even Keith found his inner calm, focusing on that so that he didn't get distracted and throw the opportunity to form Voltron. 

Nothing happened.

"We need to retreat! Back to the Castle! We need to wormhole out of here. We are in no condition to fight the Galra!" Shiro's voice was enough for each lion to turn and race back towards the Castle.

-

Keith had a feeling he knew what was hindering them from forming Voltron. That was the reason he was standing outside of Lance's door, rapping his knuckles against the material. He heard some fumbling from inside before Lance yelled out, "Who is it?"

"Uh... it's Keith. I just wanted to talk to you." Keith responded honestly, leaning up against the wall beside the door. He had his arms folded and brought his hand through his hair multiple times before the door swung open. Lance's face was red and his hair was facing every direction, essentially a mop on top of his head. He was smiling but the smile didn't seem sincere: it seemed empathetic. Keith tried to look into his room but Lance stepped in his way and blocked his view.

"What do you want Keith? I don't really feel like talking right now." Lance murmured, refusing to meet Keith's gaze.

"I know you were the reason we couldn't form Voltron. I know you're upset about your breakup so-"

"We didn't break up," Lance blurted out to interrupt Keith. Feeling nothing but pure shock, Keith's mouth fell open and he found himself at a loss for words. "I- I know what happened. I believe Allura." Finally, Lance stepped out of Keith's line of vision to reveal a rather flustered Allura sat on Lance's bed. She waved at the red paladin as if she was the most innocent person on the ship.

"Lance... you know I wouldn't-"

"I don't want to hear your excuses. I think you should leave."

"Fine," Keith spat out as if it was venom. "You can believe Allura all you want. Just don't let it get in the way of Voltron. We have a universe to protect."

"Don't you dare go anywhere near my girlfriend again." The words suggested it was a threat but Lance's voice was wobbling too much for the true meaning to come through. The blue paladin's eyes were sparkling in the light as he reached out to close the door. Keith stepped forward to stop him.

"Lance-"

"Get out. Please. I can't face you right now." Lance's large hands pressed into Keith's chest and pushed him backwards just about hard enough for him to stumble out of the way. Lance shut the door and turned back to Allura. As soon as the door was closed, Keith let out a low, animalistic growl and kicked the wall. After, he stormed to the training room: the one place it was acceptable for him to transfer anger to. 

He didn't bother with his knife. He just clenched his hands into fists and started to throw them erratically at the bot. He quickly surpassed the early levels, beating the bots with no mercy. By the time he hit level eight, he was breathing heavily. All he could see was the colour red as he pushed himself towards level nine, licking his lips in an inhumane way. 

After he made it through levels nine and ten, he heard the sound of someone clapping. Keith turned around to see Shiro standing in the doorway, a small, proud smile on his face. "Your hand-to-hand combat has really improved since I first met you." He said, observing as Keith started the next level. He cracked his knuckles before racing forward and delivering a harsh punch to the bot.

"You think?" He questioned in between heavy breaths, ducking away from an attack from the training bot. 

"I know. You used to be a scared kid but now you're like some sort of samurai or something. You're amazing."

"Thanks," Keith darted to the left to avoid another hit. "You're pretty good too. Did you just come here to compliment me?"

"Surprisingly not. Dinner's ready."

"Already?"

"Yes..."

"Time flies when you're having fun." Keith broke out into a grin that was surprisingly good considering the fact that it was fake. Keith let out a soft groan as he tackled the bot to the floor, delivering an endless amount of punches to it. When the bot faded to dust beneath him, he got up and brought both hands through his damp hair.

"Are you okay?" 

"I'm fine. Lance hates me and it's not like that's a big deal to me." Keith shrugged before muttering, "End training sequence."

"Do you want a hug?" Keith turned to Shiro and raised an eyebrow, as if to say ' _are you serious?_ ' but then he ran into the older man's arms. He buried his head into Shiro's neck, breathing in his smell to calm himself down. As much as Keith didn't like to admit it, he had moments where he really craved physical comfort. Whilst he had gotten used to living without it, it didn't mean that he didn't want it from time to time. After losing his friend, who could blame him for wanting a hug? "Now go shower. You stink." Shiro shoved Keith away from him but both were aware of the playful nature.

"I bet you secretly love my natural bodily odour."

"I don't. Please. Shower."

Keith smiled softly, thankful for the man who had become like a big brother to him. Then he headed to the showers where he cleaned up before heading to the kitchen for dinner. The entire duration of his shower was spent contemplating the situation with Lance and Allura and wondering if it would ever fix itself. He was still immensely furious at Lance for trusting the princess over him but he couldn't help the guilt welling up in his chest. He hadn't even done anything but he felt bad for Lance. Lance was being played by someone who didn't care about him as much as he cared about her. 

Lance deserved better. He deserved to be fussed over and loved. He deserved someone who would always be there for him and wouldn't make up lies so that he had to push his friends away. He deserved someone who loved him and accepted him for who he was. 

After aggressively squeezing his shower gel out of the bottle and rubbing it over his body, Keith let out a loud sigh. The image of him holding onto Lance was vivid in his head, painted in so much detail that it was almost like it had been real. Keith closed his eyes and washed away the suds, his breath hitching in his throat as he did so. 

He hated himself for loving Lance but he couldn't help it. As he stepped out of the shower and pulled on his shirt, jacket and jeans, his brain whirred with life. He couldn't turn it off, even if he wanted to. 

When he got to the kitchen, Shiro was the only person in there. He smiled up at Keith as the boy got his own food and sat down at the table. "Do I smell better now?" Keith found himself asking, sticking his tongue out at the black paladin.

"Uh..." Shiro leaned forward before breathing in his musky smell. "Yeah, you do."

Keith snorted. "That was pretty gay."

"Well yeah. We are both gay."

Both went silent, staring ahead as they poked at their food. Keith didn't notice that Shiro was watching him closely, observing as he took a bite out of his goop and began to chew.


	8. Tension

"Lance, Keith, I know you hate each other but please think about Voltron for a moment. We can't fight when you two refuse to work together." Shiro commanded, standing over the pair with folded, agitated arms. His face was stern: his lips straight and his eyebrows lowered.

"It's not my fault that Keith tried to rape my girlfriend." Lance quipped, glaring at Keith with eyes full of hatred. He went as far as to step to the side to increase the space between them. Keith chose not to say anything: he hadn't actually done anything wrong. He could feel Allura's glare on his back, burning through his skin, but he repressed the urge to snap. 

"Lance, you need to put that aside for a moment. The fate of the universe is in our hands."

"You're asking me to work with a rapist?"

"He didn't do anything!"

"Yeah, right. I'm sorry but back at the Garrison he was an undisciplined kid with anger issues. Nothing has changed. I blame the Galra in him and the fact that his parents both left-"

"What did you just say?" Keith growled, finally turning to look at Lance with a murderous expression on his face. His hands hovered over his pocket where his knife was sitting, ready to attack the blue paladin for making such a comment about his heritage.

"I said that it was your parents' fault. What, have I hit a nerve? Oh, I'm sorry, it's just that you struck a nerve when you permanently scarred my girlfriend!"

"I didn't touch her!" Keith shoved Lance backwards, tackling him onto the ground. As their bodies came in contact, Lance fidgeted and tried to get out from beneath Keith. Having practiced hand-to-hand combat so much, Keith knew to grab his wrists and pin them above his head. His legs were either side of Lance's slim body, leaving Lance without any room to move. 

"Get off of me!" Lance screeched, tugging at his wrists as much as possible. Keith used the hand that wasn't pinning Lance down to grab his knife.

"Keith, Keith, calm down. I know you're angry but don't hurt Lance. Both of you need to snap out of it." Keith gritted his teeth before standing up and facing Shiro. He was breathing heavily, his hands clenching into fists and unclenching repeatedly as he tried to calm himself down. Lance scrambled up onto his feet, dusting himself off as if he hadn't just been rendered a weak, desperate mess. "Keith, you need to calm down and Lance, don't you dare say anything about Keith's family again. You know it's a sensitive topic for him."

"Why does he deserve sympathy? You know what he did, Shiro. He should be kicked off of the team."

"No, Lance, he shouldn't because he didn't do anything. I know it's wrong to react in such an angry way but it is also wrong to lie about a crime so serious. We all know Keith isn't capable of something like this."

Lance shook his head rapidly, muttering, "This is unbelievable. Imagine how Allura feels." They all turned to look at the princess who was biting her lip and staring down at her feet. Lance headed over to her and pulled her into a long hug. Keith let out a soft sigh before walking out of the training room, stomping his feet like a toddler as he did so.

He headed back to his room where he pulled his bed covers over his head to block out the rest of the world. He scrunched his eyes shut and tried to focus on his breathing. When he had just been an angry kid, Shiro had taught him relaxation techniques designed to subdue anger and anxiety. He inhaled slowly before holding the breath and exhaling. 

-

"Hey, Shiro?" Keith called as he knocked on the door of Shiro's room. The door flew open to reveal the black paladin, greeting him with a welcoming smile. Keith followed Shiro over to his bed where they both sat down, side by side. "I just wanted to thank you for everything you've done for me."

Shiro looked up and met eyes with Keith, his full of such fondness. "You don't need to thank me."

"But I do. I wouldn't be here if you hadn't taken me under your wing. You've done so much for me and I don't think I've thanked you enough." Keith turned his head and Shiro did the same, their noses just centimetres apart. Shiro shifted so that their thighs were grazing each other and their noses were just about touching. "Could I ever thank you enough?" They lapsed into silence as Keith slowly edged forward and closed the gap between them, their lips making contact.

Keith brought his hands up to thread them through Shiro's hair. Shiro's body just tensed up, his arms remaining motionless at his side. When they parted, both were breathing heavily but neither said a word. Keith blinked a couple of times, his eyes falling to Shiro's red lips. Panic spreading across his face, he scrambled up onto his feet and stammered, "I- I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking. I was just upset and- and I don't like you like that, Shiro."

"Hey, it's okay," Shiro responded, following Keith by getting up. "I know you didn't mean it. You've been through a lot with Lance the last few days. I understand." Shiro abruptly pulled Keith into a protective hug, his arms spreading heat through the smaller boy's body. 

"I'm such a mess, Shiro. I don't know what to do. I don't want him to think I'd do something like that..."

"I know, Keith. He'll come round though. I'm sure of it."

"I told myself I wouldn't cry today," Keith murmured, burying his head into Shiro's shoulder to hide his sparkling eyes. "It's so stupid."

"It isn't stupid. It's okay to cry."

-

The tension between Lance and Keith remained as thick as ever. They wouldn't talk to each other unless they were arguing about something ridiculous. It usually resulted in Shiro commanding them to stop or Pidge snapping at them to grow up. Allura was quiet, hardly saying anything with the exception of the occasional whispers into Lance's ear. 

Breakfast and dinner was awkward to say the least. Keith would hardly eat anything, instead balancing his head on his hands and staring above the head of whoever was sat in front of him. Lance and Allura would lean against each other, basically on top of each other as they ate at a regular pace. Shiro would divert his attention between Lance and Keith, the awkwardness heavy on top of his shoulders. Hunk and Pidge would quietly converse with each other whilst they ate. Coran would awkwardly attempt to start a conversation but he always got shut down by the others.

Training was even worse. Shiro kept trying to pair Lance and Keith up together to help build their bond back up. If they ever attempted one-on-one combat with each other, it would just get out of hand and Shiro would need to split them up. Keith had a substantial amount of pent up anger which meant he was liable to let snaps out every so often; even to the innocent.

One training session, Shiro had had enough. Lance and Keith had just been sparring and Shiro had had to pull them apart before Keith held his knife up against Lance's throat. Afterwards, he backed up and yelled, "This is enough!"

Even Allura turned to look at him with wide eyes and a mouth that was slightly agape. Keith was breathing erratically and Lance was leant against his girlfriend, a hand against his forehead. Hunk and Pidge were leaning on the wall with their arms folded in irritation. 

"You need to sort yourselves out. We cannot fight the Galra like this. We're a mess. Allura, you need to tell Lance the truth. Lance, you need to stop acting like a child and Keith, you need to get your anger under control. Hunk and Pidge, I'm grateful that you're remaining sane right now. You're doing good. We can't continue like this. Imagine if we got attacked by the Galra right now. We'd be screwed, wouldn't we?"

Keith hung his head, deciding against saying anything. Lance decided to snap back. "It's not my fault! Keith is a criminal and he shouldn't be a part of the team."

"Allura, you need to tell him the truth. For the better of the team."

"The truth was that Keith tried to- he tried- tried to-" Allura's breath hitched as she turned her head to the side and refused to make eye contact with anyone.

"Allura, you need to stop this."

"When did Keith become the victim? This is all his fault!"

"I am ashamed to call us Voltron," Shiro shook his head, straightening his back and staring out at the other paladins. "This is just ridiculous."

Allura clasped his hand over her mouth, her entire body trembling as she let out a loud sob. Lance glared at Shiro before linking their arms and pulling Allura out of the room.


	9. Numbness

That night, Keith didn't train because he didn't feel angry. What he felt could only have been described as numbness and it enveloped his body like an awkward, uncomfortable hug. He laid on top of his covers, his gaze fixed on the roof as the cogs whirred in his head. He thought back to Shiro in the training room and how he had just snapped at him and Lance. 

Keith wanted to put the entire Allura situation to the side as much as Shiro did but that was next to impossible, considering Lance believed Allura's accusation. Something wet gathered around his eyes and dripped down his cheek before settling at his chin. Keith brought a hand up to his face to wipe away the tears he hadn't even realised he had been crying.

He missed Lance. He missed the rivalry that was nothing but a joke. He missed Lance's stupid (but adorable) quips at the worst times. He missed being able to laugh with him.

"Fucking hell," Keith murmured, throwing his head back against the pillow and squeezing his eyes shut so the tears were blocked from falling. "I can't believe I'm letting myself get this upset over Lance of all people." 

A soft knock on his door distracted him from the intense thoughts. "Who is it?" He questioned, his voice cracking on the word 'it'. He just hoped whoever it was didn't jump to the conclusion that he was amidst a breakdown.

He expected Shiro, apologising for snapping earlier. Maybe Hunk offering him a snack. Potentially Pidge, asking him for his opinion on some new technology they created. Maybe even Allura to dig at him and yell at him for things that weren't even his fault. Instead, it was Lance. He sounded like he was crying. "Keith, can you please open the door?"

"Just give me a second." Keith scrambled up onto his feet, desperately rubbing his eyes with his fists. He didn't need Lance making fun of him for having a breakdown or asking him what was wrong. Keith unlocked the door and watched as it swung open. Lance immediately collapsed into his arms, sobbing loudly into his neck. "Uh... Lance?" He questioned, awkwardly rubbing circles into Lance's back.

"I'm sorry. I- I didn't know who else to go to. I thought you'd understand. I'm sorry. Maybe I should go. This was a-"

"You're rambling. Come on, sit on the bed and we can talk." Lance hung his head but nodded, his fringe falling flat against his face. They both sat side by side on the bed but Keith ensured he kept at least ten centimetres between them. "What happened?"

Lance sniffed, hunching his shoulders over so that he didn't have to look at Keith. "I don't believe Allura anymore." The words came out in a choked sob as he pulled Keith closer and buried his head into his chest. 

"What did she do?"

"N-Nothing! I just- You wouldn't do something like that. I know you wouldn't."

"What changed your mind?"

"I just thought about it logically." Lance's leg was bouncing up and down energetically and his gaze was darting around the room. Those were both signs of nerves. If Keith wasn't so afraid of crossing boundaries, he'd have wrapped an arm around the tearful blue paladin. 

"Are you sure? Is that why you're in such a state?" Lance didn't respond as he let out another loud cry, full of desperation.

"I'm so sorry, Keith. I- I should've listened to you. I didn't mean to be such a jerk to you." Lance balled his hands into fists and used them to wipe at his wet eyes. As he did so, the sleeve of his jacket fell down enough to reveal a flash of something blue. Tentatively, Keith reached forward so that he could pull the sleeve down further. Lance flinched, jumping up before Keith could see what his jacket was concealing. "I'm tired. I should... I should go to bed." Just as quickly as Lance came to Keith, he left, running out of the room and not once looking back.

Keith couldn't quite make sense of the situation. Lance had come to him whilst he was having a breakdown but left before Keith could even help him. The blue on his wrist played on his head, the picture standing out like one black sheep amongst a field of white. He had only seen it for around a second so he didn't have enough time to figure out exactly what it was. A bracelet? A watch? Keith had never seen Lance wear a blue bracelet before. He had a pink one that Keith recalled his niece having made for him but he couldn't remember a blue one. What else could it have been?

-

The next morning, during training, Lance and Keith didn't argue. They didn't speak at all, in fact. Lance was devoid of all harsh comments so all Keith got was the occasional glare from Allura when she knew he was looking. When Lance and Keith had to spar, Keith didn't go too far. He went just far enough to pin Lance down on the floor but then he backed up before he overstepped his boundaries. Lance showed his appreciation by flashing Keith a quick smile.

Afterwards, Shiro pat both Lance and Keith on the back and congratulated them for their improvements. "See, you work much better with clear heads!" He had said, making the two exchange a knowing smile. Whilst it wasn't perfect, Keith felt like things were a little better. 

Keith was just heading to his room to fetch a spare change of clothes after the session when he was stopped by his name being called. He swerved around to see Allura, grinning as innocently as ever. Keith rolled his eyes before opening his door and ignoring her. He grabbed his change of clothes but, before he could leave again, Allura blocked his exit. "I couldn't help but notice you and Lance don't hate each other anymore. Is there a reason for that?" She asked, raising her eyebrows high up her forehead.

"Oh, I don't know... Maybe your boyfriend is actually a decent person? Have you considered that?" Keith snapped back. His hands would have become fists if he wasn't holding his jeans and t-shirt in his arms.

"Yeah, right. We both know he's too stupid to figure out the truth. He'd follow me to the end of the universe if I told him too. His naivety is adorable."

"Lance isn't stupid." Keith defended through gritted teeth. "He's much smarter than he credits himself to be."

"Yeah, right. Did he speak to you last night?"

"Why do you care?"

"Because he stormed out on me and I don't know where he went."

"You keep tabs on him now? You do realise he's his own person." Allura's jaw tensed as she shook her head, her long hair swaying with it. 

"He came here, didn't he? I should've known." Keith opened his mouth to snap something back about Lance's free will but Allura didn't give him the chance. She just let out a loud, overdramatic huff and stormed back out into the hall. Keith's eyebrows raised as he contemplated the princess's sanity before he headed to the showers.

-

When Keith headed back to his room after his shower, the last thing he imagined to find inside was Lance, curled up into the foetal position on his bed. He stood in the doorway with his laundry in his hands, eyes thin as he contemplated how to face the situation. Lance was sobbing loudly and was yet to notice Keith's presence.

He cleared his throat. "Uh, Lance... You alright?" He stupidly asked. Lance craned his head up, revealing his puffy, red eyes. "I'll take that as a no. I'm really shit at comforting people so do you want me to get Shiro? He always helps me when I..." Keith trailed off as Lance grabbed his shirt and pulled him down onto the bed with him. "What happened?"

"I can't talk about it." Lance murmured, letting out a shaky breath as he buried his head into Keith's neck. (Keith was grateful Lance had a breakdown after his shower as opposed to before otherwise the blue paladin might have passed out from his sweaty fumes.) 

"Okay... do you want... a hug?"

"Yes, Keith. Please." Keith wrapped his arms around Lance, pulling him forward so he was basically sat on Keith's lap. They stayed in that position for a few minutes until Lance's sobs had become weak hiccups. 

"I think you should tell me about it. That way I can help."

Lance buried his head into Keith's hair, inhaling the soft yet musky scent. His body was still trembling against Keith's but much less so. "You've already helped by cuddling me. I appreciate it a lot, you know?"

"You do?"

"Yeah... I hope you understand that I can't tell you what's going on."

"Uh... no. I don't understand. Bottling things up never helped anyone." Lance went silent as he began to fiddle with the bottom of Keith's shirt. Refusing to admit how much his chest was tingling at the touch, Keith acknowledged the fact that he didn't mean anything by it instead and just liked to do something with his hands whenever he was nervous. 

"It'll get worse if I tell you. You might... you might get hurt." Desperation scattered amongst his blue irises, Lance glanced up at Keith. 

"It doesn't matter if I get hurt. I want you to be happy and I know you haven't been for awhile."

"It's Allura," He choked out, a fresh batch of tears forming in his eyes. Keith's mouth fell open as Lance pulled himself away from him. "I don't want to be with her anymore."

"Then... break up with her?" Keith answered, as if it was the easiest thing to do in the world. Lance shook his head at a rapid pace, backing up from the bed to introduce more space between them. 

"You- You don't understand..."

"Then let me understand, please. I just want to help you." Lance brought his fist up to his eye again to rub away the dreaded tears. As he did so, his sleeve slid down to reveal the same blue Keith had seen before. It wasn't a bracelet; nor was it a watch. "Lance..."

"I'm sorry for coming to you again..." Lance murmured before fleeing the room. Keith stared at the spot where Lance had once been standing and his jaw tensed up. The blue was lingering in his head all over again, as bright and as prominent as ever. Who would do something like that to Lance?

Then Keith realised.

Allura.


	10. Just As Bad As Allura

"I'll fight Allura." Keith announced the next day at training. He had fury running through his veins like blood and he wanted the others to witness Allura's demise. Lance's eyes widened at his suggestion, silently begging Keith to back down. He didn't.

In fact, as soon as Shiro nodded, Keith got into his battle stance. They were doing sword training that day which instantaneously gave Keith the advantage as he knew swords better than he knew himself. The long blade was familiar and holding it was a sensation Keith took in like a drug. Shiro's counting in sounded far away but as soon as he reached one Keith was off.

Allura also had experience with knives and other types of blades, as apparent in the way she swung the weapon. Her hair was tied up in a messy bun on top of her head with two thin strands hanging down by her ears; not enough to get in the way. Keith raced forward, knocking Allura backwards with his hands. The wall was about a metre and a half behind them but Allura was soon up against it. Keith gritted his teeth, pressing the sword right up against Allura's. As he recoiled his weapon, a loud _shing_ noise rung through the air at a deafening volume.

"Keith." Shiro warned, fully aware that Keith was getting too involved.

"Shut up, Shiro." He retorted, bringing his blade towards Allura's again. They smashed together, Keith's much steadier than Allura's. Her sword was trembling with the rest of her body as she put as much pressure as she could into it. Keith was a much more avid trainer than her so his muscles made forcing his sword against Allura's childsplay. She would soon tire out but Keith had once trained for hours on end. He had impeccable control of his breathing as his face edged closer to Allura's. He could hear her frantic, erratic breaths. 

"I'm going to make you regret ever crossing me and Lance." Keith spat, voice full of venom.

Allura scrunched her eyes shut before channeling all of her energy into shoving Keith backwards. "I don't know what you're talking about!"

"I know what you've done to him... it's disgusting." Keith charged forward, knocking her right back into the wall. Her head fell and knocked against the material as she let out a harsh, pain-filled grunt. 

"I haven't done anything!"

"We both know that's a lie."

"It's not a lie! If he said anything then-" Whilst Allura was focusing on her speech as opposed to the weapon, Keith used his free hand to flick her wrist and make her drop the blade. It went flying across the floor, crashing to the ground a couple of metres away. 

"Keith!" Shiro's voice was distant as Keith pressed the sword up to Allura's neck. Drained of all confidence, she was shuddering and her eyes were wide with trepidation.

"You don't deserve to be a princess. You're shameful to Altea and your father." 

Just as Keith was about to press the sword down harder to see if he could tempt out some blood, his name was called again but not by Shiro. Lance. Keith turned and glanced at him, drinking in his petrified expression. Keith dropped his sword to the ground before backing up and staring at his trembling hands. An angry sob escaped his mouth as an arm wrapped around his torso and pulled him away from Allura.

"Can you explain that, Keith? Because it really looked like you were about to..." Shiro trailed off with a shake of his head. The sheer disappointment coating his features was enough to fill Keith with regret. Despite that, it wasn't enough for his rage to subside at all.

"Do you know what she has done to Lance?" Keith spoke through gritted teeth. Shiro's arm around him was the only thing stopping him from giving Allura what he thought she deserved.

"Lance?" Everyone turned to look at Lance who appeared equally puzzled as the rest of them. His weight was shifting from one foot to the other every few moments and he was fiddling with the sleeves of his jacket. His gaze diverted from Allura to Keith to Shiro multiple times but his confusion didn't falter.

"I- I don't know what you're talking about Keith..."

"Come here," He ordered but Shiro shook his head, tightening his grip on the red paladin. "Okay, fine."

"Explain it to us, Keith, please, because right now you look like the bad guy."

"I tried to tell you he was nothing but an impulsive, rage-filled-" Allura started to argue but Shiro hushed her to let Keith speak.

"I don't have any proof but I'm about 90% sure she hasn't been treating Lance right." Lance's jaw dropped open as he stared at Keith. His arms dropped to his sides and his eyebrows creased to show his own fury. 

"Lance, is this true?"

Allura's eyes were fixated on Lance but they weren't controlling or furious. They weren't even borderline menacing. They were just full of curiosity, just like Pidge, Hunk and Shiro's. All Keith had to support him was his word. Even then, it wasn't anything but an assumption. "N-No, I- She wouldn't do something like that."

Keith knew Lance. He knew when he was lying. He'd fidget and he wouldn't make eye contact. His nose would twitch too, if you were close enough to see it. Keith watched his expression and, as he had expected, his nose twitched ever so slightly. If Keith had blinked, he would have missed the tiny movement. 

"Keith, go to your room. We will discuss this later."

"I'm not a child, Shiro! I know abuse when I see it! Unlike you idiots, I'm not blind. Have none of you noticed how depressed Lance has been lately? I haven't seen him crack a joke like... at all since all the drama with Allura!" Keith's voice was raising as the fury began to boil in his chest again. His hands were clenched into fists and all the relaxation exercises Shiro had taught him had jumped right out of the window.

"Because of you!" Allura screamed, her dark skin tinted red. "You stressed him out with everything! It's your fault, Keith! You're the blind one if you can't see that! I'm sorry, Keith, but when someone's friend tries to rape their girlfriend, it happens to take its toll on them."

"But- But I saw bruises on his wrist..."

"Yeah, you might want to check your facts before accusing somebody! He hit it during training."

"No way," Keith incredulously shook his head, eyes meeting Allura's for a brief moment. "He's been coming to my room, crying, and you're telling me it's all my fault?"

"Yes," Lance choked out, eyes shining with tears. "The first time it was because I thought Allura had lied but then it was just because it made it out like the old Keith had made a reappearance. I missed you." He wiped his eyes with his hands whilst everyone turned back to Keith.

"I'm so sorry." Keith took off in a run out of the training room, one sentence spiralling through his brain over and over again: _I'm just as bad as Allura._

"Keith has become a more of a hindrance than an asset," Allura murmured, refusing to look anywhere but the spot Keith had been standing in. She was aggressively tapping her foot up and down, her arms folded to emphasise her irritation. "All he does is beat me up."

"You aren't completely innocent here, Allura." Shiro responded, jaw tensing as he contemplated how else to react. 

"He tried to kill me! He's a psychopath!"

"You also accused him of rape. That's almost equally as bad. I think we should go look for him."

"What, in case he runs away again? Like a coward?"

"Allura, will you please shut up for five minutes? We can discuss this properly after we find him. Pidge, you go to his room. Lance, escape pods. Hunk, check the hangers. Allura and Coran, you stay here. I'll go to the kitchen."

Everyone nodded before racing off in different directions, thoughts preoccupied with the red paladin. Shiro didn't want to let it show but he was terrified that Keith had run away again. His legs moved so rapidly that they were a blur until he made it to the kitchen. He knew the likelihood of Keith choosing that room of all the rooms to hide was minimal but disappointment still flooded him when he didn't see the familiar mullet.

He headed back to the training room to see if anyone else had had any luck. Pidge shrugged their shoulders, explaining that Keith's room was empty but it didn't look like any of his belongings had gone missing. Neither Lance nor Hunk had returned which set off another wave of anxiety through Shiro. He leant up against the wall, recalling the exact breathing exercises he had taught Keith all those years ago, back at the Garrison.

"Keith's going to be okay, you know that right?" Pidge said, placing a hand on Shiro's shoulder as an attempt of comforting him. Shiro had been so entranced in his thoughts that the sudden contact made him jolt backwards in consternation. "Even if he tries to do a runner again, we can track him. It's basically impossible for him to succeed at getting away from us. Does that make us sound like kidnappers? Yes, but that is not what's important here. What's important is that you know we're going to find him and he's going to be okay. I can promise you that."

"I'm sorry," Shiro murmured, wiping his eyes with his sleeves. "I shouldn't let myself get so worked up about this. I'm meant to be the rock of the team. I just- I really don't want to lose him again."

Pidge nodded in understanding, pushing their glasses higher up their nose. "You won't have to lose him again, okay? Nothing else is going to happen to you and nothing is going to happen to him either."

"I- I know but... being away from him made me realise that I love him a lot. He's basically my little brother. He didn't have any family so I will never ever regret helping him out. He's grown up so much and I'm proud of him. I'd hate to see him throw everything away so easily." 

"Yeah," Pidge rubbed their arm up against Shiro's, the gesture relaxing the tense man. "We won't let him throw it away. Even if all this shit with Allura is getting out of hand." Shiro nodded and was about to say something else but Lance walked back into the room. Both Pidge and Shiro turned, staring at him with hopeful eyes.

"Nope."

"No pods missing though, right?" As Lance shook his head, Pidge sent a soft smile in Shiro's direction, as if to say ' _see, it's okay_ '. "That means he's somewhere on the ship. He can't have gone too far."

"Yeah, man," Lance copied Pidge's smile, patting Shiro on the back lightly. "Hunk isn't back yet. Maybe he found him or something." Shiro dropped down onto the floor and pulled his legs to his chest. Lance sat down beside him, leaning his head onto Shiro's shoulder as his silent attempt of comfort. Pidge also dropped down but kept the line of comfort at touching sides.

Coran was awkwardly standing in the middle of the room, pacing up and down whilst his thumb and index fingers fiddled with the end of his moustache. Allura was sat up against the opposite wall, staring into space with a stoic expression painted on her face.


	11. You Were Right

When Hunk burst into the room, breathing heavily, everyone turned to look at him. "I found him in the hangers but he's sitting in Red and he refused to leave. I tried to coax him out but I obviously failed. Red wouldn't even let his defence down for me." He explained, making Shiro chew on his bottom lip. If Keith was tuning everyone out, it must have been bad. Being angry was his first response to distress but sadness and isolation was his last resort, only when the worst happened.

"I'll go talk to him." Shiro murmured before taking off in the direction of the hangers. When he saw Red with his defences up, his heart broke apart a little: _Keith always let him in._ "Keith?"

"Go away, Shiro!" The yell rang around the hanger, bouncing off of the walls in a way that was almost suffocating to Shiro.

"No, Keith, you need to talk to me. I understand that you're upset but we can figure this out. We always figure things out, don't we? That's just how we work. We face the worst situations but we prove everyone wrong and get out of it."

"Shiro, leave."

"No, I refuse to until I know you're okay. I understand why you accused Allura and I'm sure I'd have jumped to a similar conclusion after everything that happened. It's obvious that you care about Lance and it's really nice to see. I don't know how we're going to make this situation better for you, considering your conflict with Allura but we're going to get through this. I'll do anything to ensure Allura doesn't kick you off the team. I'll even threaten to leave too if I have to."

"Don't throw your life away for me."

"Keith, let me. I love you, okay? I know you don't understand it but I see you as my brother. I want what's best for you and you must know that. I will not let Allura continue to treat you like you aren't better than the dirt on her shoe. You're going to be okay. I'm going to make sure of it. You just... You need to come out, alright? That's all I ask of you."

"No."

"Keith, please-"

"I said no! Just leave me alone!"

"I'm not going to give up, you know?"

"Why not, huh? You do know we're not actually related! You aren't my brother and you never will be. I'm alone right now and I'm always going to be. It's better that way." Keith was crying and that much was obvious in the way his voice trembled like the ground during an earthquake. Shiro could just imagine Keith, cooped up in his lion as he sobbed into his knees.

"It isn't. You need to open up."

"No, I don't... Just go away."

"Okay, I'll go but this isn't me giving up on you."

"Sure, whatever."

Shiro turned away, his breath hitching as tears welled up in his eyes. He took one last look at Red before leaving the hanger. The last thing he heard as he walked into the corridor was Keith's loud, desperate sob. It was as if someone had pulled his heart out of his chest and jumped on it until it was smashed into a million pieces.

"He didn't come out." Shiro whispered, hanging his head so the tuft of white hair fell against his forehead. Hunk sent Shiro an expression full of sympathy, knowing just how close Shiro and Keith were. Their bond reminded Hunk of his bond with his parents and just that minute reminder of earth was enough to feel like a bullet had been shot through his heart. "What are we going to do? If he won't come out for me-"

"He'll have to come out eventually." Allura decided to contribute, folding her arms and raising one eyebrow.

"True," Lance added before returning to chewing his bottom lip. Blood had long since bubbled to the surface. "But I'll try and talk to him. I'm the one who got him into this mess."

"No, Allura-" Pidge started to argue as their way of defending Keith.

Shiro cut them off by waving his hand and saying, "Let him go. There's no harm in trying, right?"

Lance nodded before racing out of the training room with determination running through his veins. However, when he reached the hanger, the determination faded into dust and was replaced with anxiety. His hands became clammy and he found it next to impossible to stand still. "Keith? It's me, Lance."

"I can tell who you are from your voice, you dumbass." Keith retorted, sounding bored. Lance took that as a good sign as it didn't seem like he was crying anymore.

"I just wanted to apologise... for- for coming to you those nights when I was upset. It wasn't right of me, I guess. I should've told you what was wrong."

"You think? I made a fool out of myself."

"I don't blame you."

"You don't?"

"No. There's something I need to tell you but I don't want to shout it. I don't mind coming into Red and telling you there, if that's okay? Only if you're comfortable, of course."

Keith gritted his teeth, eyes thinning as he peered down at Lance. Lance was staring up at him with wide, glossy eyes. Always having had a soft spot for the blue paladin, he commanded Red to open up for him to come in. Satisfied, Lance climbed inside and sat down on the floor beside Keith.

For a moment, neither of them said anything. Keith was still sniffing and his eyes were rimmed with the colour of a dark tomato but he certainly wasn't crying. Lance was worried he would end up the one blubbering as he looked at Keith's distressed expression. "You were right..." He eventually mumbled, fiddling with his hands in his lap.

"Huh?" Keith questioned, moving his head forward and quirking an eyebrow upwards to encourage an elaboration.

"You assumed Allura hit me. You were right."

"Lance..."

"I didn't hit my arm or whatever. She grabbed me and gripped my wrist so hard that it left bruises." Lance shrugged, as if it wasn't that big a deal. Keith shook his head in disbelief, leaning forward to study Lance's facial expression. "It's not like she punched me or anything."

"She didn't?"

"No. I think she just knows I could fuck her up." Lance smirked. It almost reminded Keith of the old Lance before he had started dating Allura but, as quickly as it appeared, it went away again. It took Keith a minute or so to realise Lance had gone quiet because of the silent tears trailing down his cheeks. "I don't really know what to do, Keith. Everything's a mess and it's all my fault." Keith furrowed his eyebrows, watching as Lance hunched his shoulders over and began to quietly sob.

"How is it your fault? I was the one who-"

"She's my girlfriend. She knew how I felt about you before and-"

"How you felt about me before?"

Lance's tanned cheeks tinted pink but the tears streaming down them were enough to cover the blush up. "I liked you for a bit," He laughed but the laugh was clearly forced. "Right back at the beginning before I started to date Allura."

"You liked me?!"

"Yep, sorry, dude."

"Why are you apologising? I'm so disappointed that I didn't know this before!"

"Yeah, maybe then things would be different. Anyway, back to the subject of Allura... she was worried that you were getting too close to me so she started to... I don't know... yell every time I went near you."

"Just yelling?"

Lance hung his head but nodded. "Except the one time where she grabbed my wrist but that was only once, I swear." His eyes trailed upwards to meet Keith's, both of them staring deep into the other person's soul. Keith could read Lance through his eyes, understanding how lost the boy felt. Lance could do the same through Keith's, sensing a concoction of both confusion and desperation. "I didn't want to listen to her because you're cool. You're probably one of my best friends actually... but I had to listen because her yelling really stressed me out. It's probably really selfish of me but I was scared that she would try to blackmail me like she did to you."

"That's understandable," Keith stood up before sitting down on the floor of the lion beside Lance. At first, Lance stiffened but he soon relaxed, even going as far as to lay his head on top of Keith's shoulder. "I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"It's not your fault. I just... I feel so stuck."

"I get that."

"Do you think it'd be okay if I broke up with her?"

"I don't know, Lance, but I think you should try. She's a bitch."

"She is, isn't she? I almost pity Altea. They almost had a bitch as a queen." The wobbly smile on Lance's face told Keith that it was meant to be a joke. He didn't laugh. "You know what's funny? I came here to comfort you but now you're comforting me. I'm sorry I made this all about me."

"Don't worry about it. I'm just glad you opened up to me." Keith turned his head to the side as Lance did the same. Their noses were just millimetres apart and it would only take a second for their lips to touch. Keith edged forward ever so slightly, his arm snaking around the other paladin to pull him closer. Just as their lips grazed each other, the door of the hanger flew open and made them both break apart to see who the intruder was.

"Is everything okay with you guys? You were taking awhile and Shiro's having a bit of a breakdown so... I think you should come and tell him you're okay." It was Hunk with his soft, calming voice. Lance and Keith exchanged a small smile before exiting the lion and following the yellow paladin back to the training room.


	12. Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a serious question for that one person who reads this book, will you be annoyed/upset/whatever if I didn't upload for a while? I have massive exams next month so I might have to put some of my books on hiatus whilst I prepare for/do my exams. I might not do that but I was just thinking it might be for the best. I need to ace these exams so I don't want any distractions.

"Keith, open the door." Lance muttered before banging his head against the door as a poor excuse for a knock. Keith rolled his eyes before clambering over to the button and allowing it to slide open. "I tried to break up with Allura."

"Oh yeah?" A hopeful smile was tugging at Keith's lips but he refused to let it show in case the news he was about to receive was negative. Lance let out a gentle breath, taking a seat on the bed beside the red paladin.

"No luck."

"What do you mean?"

Lance turned to look at the door to ensure it was closed before his tanned hands moved to the bottom of his shirt. They gripped it before tugging it up ever so slightly to reveal a series of bruises, ranging from blue to brown. Keith gasped, subconsciously reaching forward and brushing his hands up against them. When Lance flinched, he quickly apologised and moved away from him.

"I'm so sorry."

"It isn't your fault."

"But I told you to break up with her."

"It's her fault for being an abusive bitch." Lance stared directly ahead, his voice completely devoid of emotion. He let go of his white shirt so that it felt back against his tanned skin. "What am I supposed to do about it, Keith? I- I'm so lost..."

"I know but it's going to be okay. We could tell Shiro? He always-"

"No!" Lance yelled, sounding frantic. His hand struck out to grab Keith's wrist, his eyes wide and full of desperation. "We can't tell anyone else. They'll... I don't know... think I'm weak."

"No, they won't. Shiro would understand."

"If Allura-"

"She won't need to know that he knows, okay? I just think he's the most mature of all of us. He'll know what to do better than me. My response to everything is to fight it which isn't always the best solution."

Lance's hand didn't move from where it was wrapped around Keith's thin wrist but he nodded slowly. He swallowed, eyes darting back to the door. "He can know... just make sure he doesn't confront Allura or anything... please."

"Of course. We can tell him now, if you want? Get it out of the way?"

Lance's breath hitched as his bottom lip began to wobble. "O- Okay."

-

Shiro was sitting with Hunk, seemingly helping him perfect another recipe. He was wearing his pyjamas and had his head balanced on his hands as he watched Hunk mix together some random space ingredients. The mixture was grey in colour and didn't appear very appealing but Hunk seemed confident. Both of their heads turned to the door as it opened to reveal Keith and Lance.

"Uh... Shiro?" Keith started, forcing a smile to coax him outside. "Can we talk to you for a moment? In private?" Shiro took one glance at Hunk and his mysterious concoction before nodding and walking outside with the pair.

Lance was hanging onto Keith like some sort of koala which earned a set of raised eyebrows. "Is everything okay?" Lance was chewing on his lip and was swaying from side to side, seeming as if he was hardly there mentally. Shiro picked up on that and assumed the answer to his question was a strong ' _no_ '.

"You know what happened yesterday with Allura? Well... turns out I wasn't far from the truth. Lance tried to break up with her earlier and..." Lance's hands were visibly trembling as they reached for the bottom of his shirt again. Shiro's mouth fell open at the sight of the dark bruises, shaking his head.

"You mean... Allura abuses you?"

"No, no, no, she just-" Lance tried to defend but Keith interrupted him with the truth.

"Yes. She has only done it a couple of times but that doesn't mean that it isn't abuse."

"We need to get her off of this team before she hurts somebody else. That bitch..." Shiro's hands curled into fists at his sides, clear anger apparent in the action. If Lance was himself, he'd have teased Shiro for swearing as it was so uncharacteristic of him but he wasn't himself so he only responded with a small shrug.

-

"Coran!" Shiro yelled, shaking the ginger man who had fallen asleep in the middle of the quintant. How he had managed to take a nap with the lights of his dorm on so bright was unknown to the black paladin. Coran blinked a couple of times glancing around the room with dazed eyes. "We need to talk to you about Allura."

"Oh..." Coran mumbled, rubbing his eyes with his fists and sitting up. His Altean marks were glowing bright, matching the soft yellow light being emitted from the lamp. Whilst Shiro walked into the room to get closer to the Altean, Keith and Lance lingered in the doorway.

"Keith was right. Show him, Lance."

"But- But I-" He started to argue but Keith sent him a smile, as if to convince him that everything was okay. Lance fumbled for his shirt, pulling it upwards to show off his bruises for the third time that day.

"Oh dear..."

"We don't know what to do, Coran. She can't stay here like this but this is her Castle and the lions belong to her."

Coran twiddled with his moustache, staring ahead as he contemplated. "Back on Altea, she was respectable but had a terrible reputation. The king knew of her manipulative ways but had too big a heart to make her own up to it. He often spoke to me and told me how disappointed he was in his daughter. He loved her with all his heart but she turned out much more of a monster than he had anticipated. He told me that I should never let it get out of hand. If it did and Allura hurt more people than she helped, I was allowed to take charge of the situation."

"What do you mean, Coran?"

"The king put me in charge if she ever spiralled out of control. Dare I say she's gone a bit wacko now, hasn't she? She's incomparable to the little, innocent girl she once was." Coran shook his head, chewing on his lip. "I think the time has come to banish her from Voltron."

"You think that's the solution this situation requires?"

Solemnly, the Altean nodded. "We could always drop her off on a planet. That way we aren't sentencing her to death or anything. We're just giving her the opportunity to start over and stop hurting people."

"That works," Shiro said, turning to see Lance and Keith nod their heads in agreement. "We'll give her a couple of days to pack up her stuff and then she can go."

"Abuse will never be tolerated. Even if the princess is the one who was in the wrong."

-

"You can't do this!" Allura screeched, fidgeting as she attempted to escape Shiro's grip on her. Shiro, with his muscles, didn't falter so all of her struggling wasn't to any avail. Coran lagged behind the group, his hands covering his eyes so that he wasn't forced to watch the princess leave. He had been there the day Allura was born and watched her grow from a baby into an adult; it hurt to know what she had done. "This is my Castle! Coran! Tell them!"

"Allura," Coran choked out, voice trembling. "This is for the best. We aren't leaving you resourceless so this is for the benefit of the team."

The princess let out an inhumane growl that reminded the paladins of that of an animal. Her chin tilted away from them as redness blossomed across her cheeks. She hardly resembled the innocent princess she was supposed to be and it broke Coran's heart. He turned away, breathing in at a slow pace to try and tame his calm.

"Alfor put so much hope in you, Coran, but you betrayed him! You let all of Altea down!"

"No, he didn't." Shiro cut her off, his voice much calmer. It was the equivalent of a teddy bear in a room of rabid dogs. "You let Altea down, Allura. You're the one who hurt a fellow paladin and betrayed Voltron. We will function more efficiently without you. You need to understand and respect our decision with the universe in mind."

"Well," Allura let out a laugh, its sharpness contrasting the usual playful, cheerful nature of such a sound. "Joke's on you because you need me to form the wormholes."

"The black lion has the ability to harness such a power." Coran chipped in, sniffing afterwards.

"Only Zarkon has ever used the ability so good luck with that, Shiro. You're going to die trying." The other paladins went silent as Shiro threw Allura onto the land beneath the ship. She grunted, fixing her eyes into a thin, murderous glare. "You'll be back to get me!"

"No," Surprisingly, the wavering voice belonged to Lance who had remained silent throughout the entire conversation. "We won't. We're better than you."

"Lance! You're going to regret this! I will find you- all of you- and get my revenge. I hate you so much!"

"Good," Lance turned to Shiro, swallowing thickly as an attempt to compose himself. "Shiro, please shut the door." With a nod from the leader and a growl from Allura, the door closed. Lance didn't say anything else before storming out of the room, his breathing erratic.


	13. Since...

It took about five minutes of mental pep talk for Keith to raise his hand and knock on Lance's bedroom door. Heavy silence escaped from the room. "Do you want to talk?" Keith asked, leaning up against the door. His arms were folded and his forehead was touching the cold material as he waited for Lance to reply. Keith was still dressed up in his armour as he hadn't bothered changing before sprinting after Lance. His hair was windswept, a mop on top of his head, but he didn't find himself caring.

"No." Lance replied after a long while. Keith let out a soft sigh, his arms unfolding so that he could knock on the door a second time.

"Please? I know this isn't easy for you and bottling things up won't help. I learnt that the hard way, didn't I?"

"Keith, I just want space. That okay?"

Keith listened to Lance as he sniffed: a sign that he had been crying. A sad smile spread across his face as he imagined the sheer state the blue paladin was in on the other side of the door. He seemed so close but, yet again, so far away. "Yes, that's okay. Just- Just stay safe, alright?"

"I'm not going to off myself, Keith."

"I know, I know... I'm just worried."

"Don't be. I'll be okay. I've just got a lot to think about."

Keith nodded even though he was aware that Lance couldn't see him. "Okay."

-

Lance didn't come to dinner. The two empty seats were the massive elephants in the room but no one dared to even look at them. Coran tried to start a loose conversation, mentioning something about how Hunk's cooking had seemed to improve since they first travelled to space. Hunk had flashed a wide smile, thanking him in between the bites of his food. Then the table had lapsed into silence all over again.

As another attempt of discussion, Pidge mentioned about how they were trying to figure out a way to wormhole without Allura's power but the mention of the princess was enough to thicken the tension. Keith had stabbed his food much harder than necessary, his lips pursed. Despite the nausea making a home in his chest, he pressed the goop to his lips and took a bite.

After a few awkward moments, Keith gave up trying to eat. He just grabbed a plate, piling the leftover food onto it so that he could take it to Lance. He walked down the halls at a rapid pace, his steps heavy as rage lingered. He rapped on Lance's door, waiting for a response.

"Is it Keith by any chance?" His voice wasn't as shaky: a good sign.

"Yep. I brought you some food."

"You didn't need to." The sound of something shuffling behind the door filled the air but the door didn't open.

"I don't want my friend to starve. You kind of need to open the door though..."

"I look like shit, Keith. I'm okay."

Keith smiled, shifting the plate from his right hand into his left as he stared at the wall. "I'm sure you don't look shit. Even if you do, it's totally understandable."

"I'm not opening the door. Sorry, Keith."

"I'll just leave it outside for you then. Make sure you eat it, okay?"

"Mhm." Lance pressed his ear against the door so he could make out the sound of Keith's footsteps as he walked away. He counted to thirty in his head before opening up the door and taking the food back into his room. His hair was a mess on his head and he hadn't changed from his pyjamas in a couple of days. Other than that, he didn't look too different.

The one thing that stood out to Lance and made him feel ugly was his skin. When he traced his cheeks with his hand, it was rough as opposed to its usual soft feel. He had been skipping his routine, not feeling up to pulling himself out of bed to pile a bunch of products onto his skin. Lance stared into the food and a tiny smile tugged at his lips: Keith cared about him enough to bring him his food. His stomach had been growling at him but he wasn't ready to face the rest of the paladins just yet.

He wrapped his hands around the cutlery before taking a bite of the food.

-

"You're distracted," Shiro murmured, breathing heavily as he pressed his hands into Keith's shoulders. The red paladin's face was the colour of his armour and his hair was flat against his face beneath his helmet. "You need to focus."

Keith didn't say anything before shoving Shiro backwards. The taller man was quick to steady himself, darting to the side so that Keith couldn't repeat the same attack.

"Come on, channel your power. I know you can do it."

Keith let out a long growl, grabbing Shiro's left arm with his right hand, twisting it so it was behind the black paladin's back. Shiro gritted his teeth, eyes squeezed tight in pain. "That better?"

"Only if you pay attention." Shiro grinned before using his metal arm to flip Keith over and knock him to the floor. The red paladin hit the floor with a loud _thump_.

"Well played," Shiro slapped his hand against Keith's to pull him back up onto his feet. "Looks like I'm not quite on your level yet. I've been slacking with training."

"That isn't your fault. We've all been distracted."

"I'm worried about Lance," Keith blurted out, refusing to meet Shiro's gaze. When a hand laid on his shoulder, he tensed up but still didn't look up. "He hasn't left his room in quintants."

"We're all worried, Keith," Surprisingly, Hunk was the one to speak up, his face soft with empathy. "He hasn't shut himself away like this since..."

"Since what?"

"Since his last girlfriend broke up with him back on earth. They were together for over a year and it destroyed him. He didn't leave his room for anything but food for weeks."

"How'd you coax him out?" Shiro asked, wrapping an arm around Keith's torso and pulling him closer. Keith frowned but melted into the contact.

"We didn't. We just had to give him time and, eventually, he came out."

"It can't be safe," Keith whispered, subconsciously letting his head fall back into Shiro's chest. "Cooping himself up in his room... What if the Galra attack? We'll be screwed."

"You won't be able to get him out." Hunk shook his head.

"I've been talking to him and I haven't even been able to get him to open the door."

"We just have to be patient."

-

A couple of quintants passed of Lance locking himself in his room and Shiro decided to optimise their use of time. He had taken all of the lions out into space (with the exception of Blue) and they were attempting to form the wormhole with Black. Red, Yellow and Green lagged behind and watched as Black sped forward. Shiro leant forward, his hands tightly gripping the controls as he pushed the lion forward. He waited for something- _anything_ \- to happen but... nothing.

"Do you expect the wormhole to just appear if you fly like a lunatic?" Keith said into the coms, only gaining an unamused grunt in response.

In unison, both Keith and Pidge called, "Coran?" The ginger haired man stared out at Black through the screens in the castle.

"Uh... I don't believe I know how it happens. It just... does."

Black swerved to the side and halted facing the other lions. "Any ideas guys?"

"We unlocked new weapons naturally when the lions thought we needed them. Do you feel any urges to do anything?" Hunk offered, biting his lip as he stared out at Black.

"I feel the urge to go back into the castle and give up."

Keith's gasp transported through the coms. "Shiro? Giving up? That's unheard of. It's almost as if he's been replaced with a clone!"

"Not again." Pidge groaned, following it through with a soft chuckle. "That's the thing that only happens to someone once in a life."

"Uh... I don't think this is an appropriate joke... Shiro like... died." Hunk, being the voice of reason, muttered. Pidge let out a snort before spinning Green around to face the Castle of Lions again.

"We giving up?" They asked; the question lingered in the air for a moment before Shiro responded.

"Looks like it. I think we could do some research. Maybe Coran could see if there are any books on it in the library."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I've got some important stuff to say so it would be cool if you read this author's note. I've decided to take a break. I have some really important exams next month that will determine whether I get into the university I want. I need to dedicate more time to revision and that means I will have to stop writing for a bit.
> 
> I might update every so often but I certainly won't be keeping my schedule. This will only be until June 20th (my last exam) so just bear with me and be patient. I'm not giving up on writing and this book WILL be finished eventually! I just need time. I hope you understand :)


	14. The Quiznacking Quintant

When the alarms rang out, everyone panicked. Keith was in the training room, beating the life out of an innocent bot, so was quick to race to the hangers. He was first to come out of the castle, Red moving as rapidly as ever. Black soon followed with Yellow and Green. "We need Lance!" Shiro yelled as he swerved Black to the left to dodge a laser beam. He grunted, hands sweaty around the controls. His heart was pounding like a drum inside his chest but was required to persevere as the leader of the team.

"He still hasn't left his room..." Keith murmured, going in the opposite direction as Black to surround the Galran ships. Red was much faster, its legs moving as a blur as it moved.

"This is bad- wait, Lance?" Each of the four lions turned to look at the castle where the blue lion emerged, ready to fight. Caught off guard, the Galra took it as an opportunity. Each of the Galran ships lurched forward, shooting at the lions that swayed from the impact. Pidge let out a loud groan as Green was hit. "Form Voltron!" Shiro yelled, moving forward to meet the others in formation.

Yellow and Blue contracted into the legs whilst Red and Green formed the arms. Black stood tall as the head as its eyes shone a bright yellow colour. Each of the paladins let out a long yell as they came together much stronger than each individual.

"Wait, wait, what is that?" Hunk asked, panic flooding through him. Each paladin watched as something that looked almost like a demonic version of Voltron came into view.

"I don't know but stay calm. Form sword!" Keith reached for his bayard so that a large sword formed in the hand of the red lion. The enemy was holding a sword very similar to Voltron's, potentially even longer. Voltron smashed their sword up against the enemy's, using all of their strength to push the robot back.

"We aren't strong enough!" Hunk called out.

"What do we do, Shiro?" The sounds of the desperate paladins rung through the coms but Shiro went silent. A compartment began to glow inside the ship, calling for him. He tuned out the screams as the robot swung back at them harder and faster. Trembling hands reached for his bayard before thrusting it into the slot. A flash of light lit up the head of the lion, escaping through its eyes before a wormhole opened up.

The resounding sound of Keith's utterance of ' _what the fuck_?' filled the air but it went ignored as Shiro yelled out further commands. "We aren't ready to fight a being we have no knowledge of so it's best if we run. Coran, you with us?"

"Yes! Following you with the Castle now!"

Voltron rushed forward and escaped through the wormhole, each of the paladin's hearts beating out of control. As they burst out of the other end, Voltron broke apart into the single lions. The Castle followed a few ticks later. "Everyone with us?" Shiro asked, his breathing erratic from all of the adrenaline. Everyone took their turns at responding until everyone had announced their safety.

"I never thought I'd see the quiznacking quintant." Coran shook his head inside the Castle, standing up from where he had fallen during the journey. He dusted himself off, unable to blink as he watched the lions recover due to the sheer disbelief.

"How'd you do that?" Keith asked, voice full of curiosity. Each paladin represented the same picture of wide eyes and a mouth that was agape. Keith had fallen off his seat, Hunk was hunched over the controls, Pidge was standing against the side of Green's head and Lance was sat properly on his seat but they were all wearing the exact same facial expression.

"I don't know. I just... _felt_ it. I can't explain it..." Shiro stared down at where his bayard was injected in the lion with awe. His hands were shaking as he reached forward and pulled it out.

"You had your moment," Coran replied for him, balancing on the control pad of the Castle. "Pidge had theirs when they created the roots on the Olkarion. You're all growing up fast and the lions are bonding with you."

"That's sick! When can I do something cool with Yellow?"

-

"Lance," Keith blurted out as the blue paladin walked into the kitchen. His hair had clearly been brushed and he was wearing something other than his armour, meaning he had bothered to get dressed. "You came to dinner."

"Yeah..." Lance mumbled, sitting down beside Coran. He hung his head as he stared into the food goop, wishing he had decided to stay in his bedroom as opposed to facing the others.

"Well done today everyone," Shiro announced between bites of his meal. "You all worked extra hard and I'm especially proud of you, Lance. We wouldn't have been able to form Voltron without you."

"I didn't do anything," He picked up his cutlery, circling the food on his plate until it mixed into one large lump of colour. "You're the one who activated the wormhole. That was awesome."

"Thank you."

"You are becoming strong, worthy paladins." Coran glanced at the seat beside Lance where Allura would have sat but he just shook his head and continued speaking. "I'm proud of you and I can genuinely see us defeating the Galra."

"Me too. At first, none of us knew what we were doing. Now, it's like we know exactly what we're doing. Keith, you've never been stronger. Lance, you've never been so good at shooting. Pidge, you've never been so smart. Hunk, you've never been this confident. It's amazing to see how far all of us have come."

They all exchanged wide smiles full of pride and gratitude. Hunk picked up his cup full of water before announcing, "I raise a toast to us!"

"To us!" The paladins chorused before clinking glasses together.

Coran's eyes just thinned. "A ...toast?"

"Yes, it's something people on earth do to celebrate." Coran still appeared sceptical but raised his cup and hit it against Shiro's.

"To the paladins!"

"To us!"

-

Keith was in the shower, eyes shut as he massaged the shampoo into his hair. Whilst having a shower, it opened up the mind to many contemplations, giving Keith the opportunity to think about Lance. He wondered whether his feelings had subsided at all after the drama with Allura but they hadn't; if anything, they had grown stronger.

Thoughts of how brave Lance had been danced through his head. Keith could remember what he was like before Allura; how he'd crack jokes all the time. He had retracted into himself after dating her, closing up and becoming too timid to make jokes. Keith squirted shower gel into his palm, the musky scent drifting up to his nose. He rubbed it against his pale skin, being careful to avoid the patches of bruises from the training sessions.

He closed his eyes and imagined Lance's smile. His laugh. His winks that were meant to be playful but were actually quite attractive. Redness spread across Keith's cheeks as he let out a frustrated huff. If Lance knew Keith thought about him in the shower, he could only imagine how he'd react.

Deciding it was weird and Keith felt creepy, he finished up, washing off the soap and the conditioner out of his hair. He wiped himself down before pulling on his pyjamas and using the towel to dry his hair off. Once he was done, he folded up the towel and headed out into the halls. Immediately, he bumped into somebody.

"I'm sorry!" The other person exclaimed, backing up with wide, fear-filled eyes. It was Lance. After the collision, he had dropped the skincare products and clothes he had been holding so Keith helped him gather them back up.

"It's okay," Keith smiled, water dripping down his face from his hair. He realised how much of a mess it was and brought a hand through it. "It was my fault for not looking where I was going. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I was just going to shower. I bet I reek because I haven't showered in days."

Lance did stink a bit but Keith wasn't going to agree. He just nodded before saying, "It's understandable. Good to see you're back to functioning though."

"Thanks."

"Will you be training tomorrow?"

"I think so. See you then."

"Bye." Keith waved and watched as Lance turned into one of the showers. Keith really hoped he was feeling better.

-

"Good to see you back," Shiro said as Lance walked into the room. Keith shot him a quick smile to show that he felt the same as Shiro. "Do you feel up to sparring? We could do some other kinds of bonding exercises instead if you want."

"I'll spar. I can't wait to beat Keith." Lance turned to stick his tongue out at the red paladin who looked more shocked than offended. He exchanged a surprised look with Hunk and Shiro who shrugged.

"Yeah, right. As if you could beat me." Keith retorted, relief swirling in the pit of his chest. If Lance was joking around with him like they were rivals again, it meant he was feeling a bit more like himself. Keith never thought he'd admit it but he _loved_ it, even if it was an insult. It made his heart flutter in a peculiar but wonderful way.

"I could take you down," Lance curled his hands into fists as a smirk spread across his face. "You ready, mullet?"

"Back to the insults about my hair? How low."

"You're going to spar right here, right now. Okay..." Shiro backed up into the corner so that he was out of the way and the other paladins soon followed.

Keith felt all tingly inside as Lance ran at him with an intense speed. Deciding to go a little easier on the other paladin, Keith let himself fall against the wall. He exaggerated his grunt before pushing back into Lance. The blue paladin was grinning a grin full of spite as he gripped Keith's wrist with his right hand but Keith used his foot to trip Lance up. Both collapsed onto the floor, Lance on top. They both had sweat dripping down their faces whilst their chests rose and fell in unison.

Lance's face was just inches away from Keith's. For a tick, it appeared like Lance was leaning forward but Keith quickly turned his head away and grabbed Lance's arm to flip them over.

He vaguely heard Shiro yell, "Good one, Keith!" but it was muffled due to the sound of his heart beating like a drum. Keith rolled off of Lance with a satisfied smile on his face.

"I'll get you next time, Mullet." Lance spat, tilting his chin up and thinning his eyes. Keith laughed; it was entirely genuine. It was almost like the old Lance was back. Almost.

"Yeah, right. You can think that if it helps you sleep at night."

Lance let out a loud huff but tensed up as Shiro pat him on the back. "That was good, Lance. Better luck next time, hey? I think Hunk and Pidge should go next."

"On it!" Pidge retorted as they both got into position. Keith was trying his hardest to pay attention enough to give them feedback afterwards but his mind was distracted by Lance. Keith had literally been both on top of and beneath his crush in a position that some could consider compromising. Keith brought his hands up to his flushed cheeks before anyone could notice how much he was blushing.


	15. Klance

"The sexual tension was way too much," Pidge complained, staring directly at Keith as they spoke. Keith sent them a harsh glare before turning to look down at his food again. "Honestly, for a tick, I thought you were going to make out or something. Right there, in the middle of a battle." Hunk snorted but covered it up by shovelling some food into his mouth. "That is a very Klance thing to do, isn't it?"

"Klance?" Lance questioned innocently, cocking his head to the side. The entire table turned to look at him before Pidge and Hunk burst out laughing. Keith had turned the colour of his jacket, choosing to bury his head into his hands instead of face the puzzled look of his crush.

"Yep. It's your ship name."

"Woah, since when did we have a ship name?"

"Since... forever, dude. I've shipped it since we first got to space. Then you got with the demon bitch and... yeah. Now the ship's back and stronger than ever." Pidge admitted with a shrug. Lance's jaw dropped open but he shut it before anyone could tease him about it.

"But why?"

"Your chemistry! You're at the base of every fanfiction ever. You know, the whole love-hate thing? It's adorable."

"How do you know what fanfiction is about?"

It was Pidge's turn to go red as they took a bite of their food. "I'm just guessing. I mean-"

"I bet you shipped Larry Stylinson or Phan or something." Lance chuckled and, when Pidge hid their face with their hands, he knew he was right. "That's adorable."

"Shut up!" The youngest paladin snapped, eyebrows furrowing. "At least I didn't have a shrine dedicated to Brendon Urie!"

"That isn't something to be ashamed of! Brendon Urie is a literal God."

"Have you read the milk fic?" Keith asked out of the blue, directing the attention back to him. Pidge's eyebrows were raised high up their forehead and Lance's eyes had doubled in size.

"Not at the dinner table!" Hunk exclaimed, glaring at everyone sitting at the table.

Coran leaned over to Lance and whispered, "What's a Brendon Urie?" Lance couldn't answer him because he too busy hysterically laughing.

-

Keith had just finished showering after a late night training session when he heard the sound of someone sobbing. He had just been heading to his bedroom but the noise made him turn into the kitchen, poking his head inside to check on whoever was in there.

Lance was hunched over the counter, staring at his forearm as blood dripped down it. "Lance? What happened?" Keith asked, rushing forward.

"I wanted to do something nice," Lance wailed, his trembling right hand still gripping the knife. "I wanted to cook you something and Hunk gave me a recipe. I- I zoned out when I was chopping something up and- and- it hurts so bad."

"Hey, hey, come here, it's okay. Let me take you to the med bay." Lance nodded as Keith wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him out of the kitchen. "It's going to be okay. We're just going to clean you up."

"I'm sorry for being such a baby..." Lance murmured as Keith helped him up onto a table in the medbay. Keith had rummaged around some of the draws until he came across a wrap of white bandages, some (presumably) antibacterial wipes and some medical tape. Lance held out his long arm, the long cut running up it as clear as day.

"You aren't a baby. Now, I warn you, this is going to hurt." As Keith pressed the wipe into Lance's cut, the blue paladin's breath hitched. "I'll be as quick as I can." Once the arm was clean of as much blood as Keith could wipe away, he retracted the wipe and reached for the bandages.

"Thank you..." Keith wrapped the bandage around Lance's left arm until the cut could no longer be seen. He secured it with the tape before stepping back and admiring his first-aid work.

"All done."

Swinging his legs off of the table, Lance jumped down and diverted his gaze to his feet. "Thank you so much for doing this but I- I think I should clean up the kitchen."

Keith shook his head, a smile creeping onto his face. "Don't worry about it. I'll clean it up whilst you get to bed, okay?" Lance was too exhausted to argue.

-

Suspicion began to tug at Keith once he stumbled upon Lance the next night, cooped up in the showers. He heard the sound of soft wails echoing around the cubicles as he walked in to have his own shower. "Hello?" Keith called out, unable to connect the cry to the person. The sobbing subsided for a moment so Keith shuffled over to the door and knocked. "You okay in there?"

"Keith, go away." The distraught, choked up voice was undoubtedly Lance.

"Hey, Lance, talk to me. I'm here for you, alright?"

"Please leave me alone. I- I'm fine."

"You're obviously not. Can you come out?"

"No, no, I can't."

"Are you hurt?"

Silence lapsed between the pair for a moment before Lance stammered out a small, "No."

"Lance..."

"Okay, fine! I'm hurt! But I can deal with it. I don't need your help."

"I don't mind helping you. Are you... dressed?"

"No."

"Okay... can you get dressed?"

Soft shuffling escaped the room before the door was tugged open to reveal Lance. He was wearing his pyjama bottoms but was shirtless. His arm was bloody but it was his right arm as opposed to his left which was still bandaged up. He refused to meet Keith's gaze, instead attempting to shove passed him and flee.

"What happened?"

Lance didn't say anything as they both stared at the deep cut.

"It was an accident, wasn't it?"

"Of course it was! Who do you think I am?" Lance snapped, catching Keith off guard. He raised his hands in defence.

"I can take you to the med bay again. I think it needs to be cleaned up and bandaged so it doesn't get infected. It isn't as bad as your other cut but it's better safe than sorry."

Keith decided to prioritise Lance over his hygiene: after all, he could shower in the morning.

-

"Rematch?" Lance suggested, eyes thin and lips pursed. Keith bit his lip before slowly shaking his head. He knew Lance's arms couldn't take much action or they'd open up and start bleeding again; even under his paladin armour. "What, you scared, mullet?"

"No... I just don't think you're in the best condition to fight. Your arms, Lance-"

"Are you injured?" Shiro questioned, eyebrows falling flat against his eyes. Lance's face heated up and he turned away from his team.

"No."

"Yes, you are. A couple of nights ago, he cut himself when he was trying to cook and last night he scraped his arm in the shower. I cleaned him up but I don't think he can fight with them."

"Keith, I'm fine!"

"Does he need a healing pod? I'm sure a varga or so is enough to heal any cuts."

"Shiro, it's not that bad really."

"Lance, can I talk to you outside for a moment?" Lance looked up at Hunk with eyes clouded with anxiety. He nodded before following the yellow paladin out into the hall.

When Lance returned, his eyes were rimmed red and he was much more distant than before. Hunk wasn't quite himself either, being quiet and absorbed in deep thought. Keith couldn't help but watch them both the entire training session, attempting to decode the complications between them.

-

Keith was lying in bed, staring up at his ceiling, when he heard a shuffle coming from the doorway. Confused (and mildly concerned), he stood up and turned on the light to reveal a folded piece of paper on the floor. He unfolded it, eyes grazing over the sloppy writing. Just the first sentence was enough for panic to begin running through his veins.

_To Keith,_

_I have to do this._

Keith's breath hitched and a hand clasped over his mouth as he jumped to the worst possible conclusion. He got up onto his feet, running out into the corridor and sobbing as he did so. He reached Lance's room and started to hammer on his door, so loudly that a tired-looking Shiro emerged from his room next door. "What's going on?" He asked, voice slurred with exhaustion.

"Lance, he's going to do something stupid." Keith sobbed, hands trembling violently around the letter in his hands. "We need to stop him. I don't know where he is. I can't lose him, Shiro. I can't- I can't-"

Keith's words were enough to wake Shiro up completely. "Okay, breathe and think. Where would he go? What does it say in the letter? Are there any hints?"

"I haven't read it yet..."

"Then read it. Quick."

_To Keith,_

_I have to do this. For Voltron. I know I've become more of a hindrance to the team ever since all that shit with Allura. I'm so sorry and I wish that it didn't need to end this way. I really liked you, Keith. You were kind and, although I pushed you away a lot, it meant everything to me that you never left._

_I just want to start over. I don't want to leave you but I think I have to. You can find a better blue paladin who doesn't spend every night crying themselves to sleep. Someone who can look at a knife before colourful thoughts begin to suffocate them._

_I'm not good enough for you or the team. Everyone has their... thing but I don't have a thing. I'm just Lance. Hunk can cook, Pidge is amazing with tech, Coran knows all about Altea and Shiro is an inspirational leader. All I can do is mope and feel sorry for myself all the time. A paladin should be brave and not fear a single thing but I cannot be like that. I just can't._

_I'm too messed up in the head._

_Maybe if I start over, I can get a farm or something where I can spend an eternity being alone. I love people but I'm a burden. I'm that one friend no one wants around. Maybe I could find a way to get to earth or something so I can see my family again. I'll be happier there. I'll be safe and wouldn't need to worry about being good enough anymore._

_I wish I could tell you a proper goodbye but I'm scared I'll wimp out if I have to look at you one more time. For a while, you were the only one keeping me here. I really didn't want to have to leave you but this is for the best. You'll be happier this way._

_Before I say goodbye for the last time, I have to admit something... Those cuts. You know the ones. They weren't accidents. I wish they had been._

_Goodbye, Keith. I love you._

_Love from,_

_Lance, the former blue paladin :)_

"He's running away, Shiro, we need to stop him."

"Wait, Keith, you need to think this through," Keith's eyes darted down to his arm where Shiro had grabbed him. He pulled away from the leader, deciding it was best to disobey that one time. "He's been unhappy lately. Maybe an escape would be good for him."

"Fuck you, Shiro!" Keith screamed, tears streaming down his face. "I'm going to find him whether you help me or not!" He took off running down the corridor, still gripping the letter in his right hand. Once he made it to the room that housed the escape pods, he broke down. He noticed another missing pod and dropped onto his knees, trembling as he continued to cry.

"Keith? Keith, are you okay?" Shiro sounded out of breath as he caught up with the red paladin.

"He's gone. We're too late."

"No, we're not. Pidge can find him. There are trackers on every single escape pod... that's how we found you."

"Wake them up then! We need to be fast!"

"Okay, okay, come on." Both of them headed back to the dorms before halting outside of Pidge's door. They knocked on it until it flew open to reveal an exhausted Pidge.

"You better have a good reason for interrupting my beauty sleep." They muttered before Keith grabbed their arm and began to drag them down the hall.

"Lance ran away and we need you to track him."

Pidge shook their head, finally waking up enough to register what was going on. They let Keith drag them until they reached the main control room of the Castle. Immediately, they began to tap away at the screen, attempting to detect Lance's pod. "He's nearby but isn't moving... Maybe he stopped to rest or something."

"We're going to get him." Keith uttered before rushing back down the corridor towards the hanger. Shiro and Pidge soon followed him before each of them piled into the red lion. Pidge directed Keith as they headed deep into space. After multiple doboshes, Pidge spotted the pod in front of them, standing idle amongst the stars.

"I'll jetpack out there to get him." Shiro offered, getting up onto his feet. Keith shook his head but Shiro cut him off before he could even begin talking. "We need someone with a level head, okay Keith? We don't want to freak Lance out." Shiro climbed out of the lion and used his jetpack to fly towards the escape pod. Once he got close enough to look inside, his mouth fell open. "Keith..."

"What? What is it?"

"He isn't here. He's gone."

"What do you mean he's gone? He can't be." Keith started tearing up again, clasping a hand over his mouth as he watched Shiro retreat. "Shiro, are you sure he isn't there?"

"I'm sorry, Keith."

Keith hunched over and began to sob, his entire body violently shaking. Lance was gone. He was gone.

 


	16. Fake It Until You Make It

"Blue paladin, you're finally awake." The voice talking to Lance was deep and husky. His eyes cracked open and laid upon a Galran guard. His purple skin was covering his body so that only his face was being shown to Lance. His lively violet eyes drank in Lance's terrified expression. "You were out for vargas! We thought you were never going to wake up."

"Fuck off," Lance snapped, venom in his tone. "I slept very well, thank you."

"That's good to know because your peace ends right here, blue paladin." With that, the Galran soldier thrust out a fist that came in contact with Lance's eye. He swore loudly as he collapsed onto the ground, vision blurring. "You can make this easier for yourself by cooperating. It isn't difficult."

Lance snorted, trying to make himself appear more confident that he really felt. "It is difficult for me. I hate being told what to do. Ask anyone."

"You're a feisty one, aren't you? Of course we'd capture the annoying one."

"I can hear you, you know."

"That is the point," The soldier sent a kick flying towards Lance's face. He didn't have enough time to protect himself so the Galra's boot hit him in the chin. His lip split open and blood dripped down onto the floor. "Now, do you want to do this the easy way or the hard way?"

-

"Keith."

Keith didn't respond, choosing to punch the training bot with all of his strength instead. It stumbled backwards but didn't collapse. Keith charged towards it, slamming his fist into its chest hard enough to send a sharp pain through his wrist.

"Keith."

Letting out a loud growl, Keith tackled the bot to the ground. As it hit the ground, it faded into nothing. "Level 8 complete. Proceed?"

"Proceed." Keith murmured, clenching and unclenching his fist as he waited for the bot to reappear.

"Keith, you need to stop."

Keith ducked as the bot swung a punch, his movements a result of expertise. He grabbed the wrist of the robot before pulling it behind its back.

"Keith, come on."

He shoved the bot to the ground yet again, delivering a furious kick to its chest. A few ticks later, it faded into dust again. "Level 9 complete. Proceed?"

"No, Keith. Don't proceed."

Making eye contact with Shiro as he did so, he shouted, "Proceed!"

The bot reappeared, a long sword forming in its hand. Keith ducked as the robot swung the sword, the blade just grazing the tip of his hair.

"Keith, you're going to hurt yourself!"

"No!" Keith suddenly yelled, turning to face Shiro whilst his face burned a red colour. "I don't care if I hurt myself! Lance has gone because of me. I should have noticed. I should have seen the signs of suffering in him. I just- I wish I had done something that could-"

"Keith!"

The training bot swung its sword again but that time Keith hadn't been paying attention. The blade dug into Keith's cheek, immediately drawing blood from the skin. He fell backwards, eyes scrunched shut as the red liquid dripped down his face and onto the floor.

"End training sequence!" The bot disappeared, giving Shiro the chance to check Keith over. The red paladin had slumped onto the ground, eyes shining as he pressed his hand into the injury. His pale hand had been tainted with red. "We need to get you to a healing pod."

"I'm fine, Shiro." Keith mumbled, wincing as he forced himself up onto his feet.

"It's better safe than sorry. Come on, I'll take you to the med bay."

"I don't deserve it, Shiro." His voice cracked and it broke Shiro's heart. The once strong, red paladin had been rendered a mess, broken and seemingly irreparable. "I let Lance leave and its all my fault. I don't deserve to be here if Lance isn't."

Shiro rubbed Keith's arms, tears shining in his eyes too. "Don't say that. It isn't your fault that he was unhappy. He had been through a lot and needed to escape... maybe he's happier this way."

"Or maybe he isn't safe. Maybe he has run out of oxygen and is dead. His body might be out there, floating through space-"

"Don't lose hope. I'm sure he's okay."

"He's all alone out there, Shiro. You know how much he hated isolation. What if-"

"I know it's hard but try not to worry about it... we need to worry about your face for a moment."

"My face isn't important. Lance is..."

-

A thin t-shirt and a pair of shorts were thrown in Lance's general direction. He whimpered at the contact, the pieces of cloth enough to send an electric current of pain through his body. He was covered in bruises and cuts; it felt like his body was on fire. "Get dressed." Gort commanded, folding his arms but not making an effort to turn away.

"Uh, could I get a bit of privacy? We've only known each other a quintant. Seeing each other naked needs to wait a few more quintants at least, man." Lance retorted. He was presenting himself as a confident brat when, really, he felt like he was going to puke. Lance always did love the saying ' _fake it until you make it'_ and it was his time to act on it himself.

"No. Just put them on before I do it for you."

"Chill out, man. I'll change." Under the piercing eyes of the Galra, Lance shook off his jacket. He then stepped out of his jeans, whimpering as the denim brushed over some cuts. He pulled his shirt off over his head before throwing on the t-shirt the Galra had supplied him, being careful to avoid direct contact with any cuts. Once the trousers were also on, Gort looked satisfied.

"You look so pretty when you're worn out." He murmured, brushing his fingers over Lance's tanned cheek. Stiffening up, Lance ducked away from the touch. It felt much too intimate for his liking, especially after Gort had watched him get dressed. "What have I told you about cooperation, Lance? You need to cooperate or you get punished." With that, Gort pulled his knife out of his back pocket.

-

A couple of quintants passed before anything of any significance happened. They had just been sitting in the control room, discussing ways of moving forward, when their screen had turned on. It revealed Lance who had a black eye and a busted lip. He was dressed in torn, bloody rags that made him look like the smallest boy in the universe.

"I- I've been captured." Lance choked out, voice wobbling. His eyes kept darting to look at the person behind the camera, full of anxiety. "I tried to escape but I got caught by the Galra and now they're holding me hostage. They- They've told me to tell you that you can come and get me."

"What's the catch?" Shiro answered, keeping his voice stern and authoritative. He couldn't let any emotion slip in case the Galra took advantage of it.

Lance shook and hunched over as someone kicked at his shin. "You need to hand the black lion over to the Galra."

Each of the other paladins exchanged the same sad, lost look. Keith was hugging himself, trying to keep his cool as he looked into the frightened eyes of the boy he had thought was dead. To everyone's surprise, Shiro nodded. "Okay. We'll do it."

Lance slowly shook his head but stopped once he was hit again. "Black paladin, we will come to you where we will trade the blue paladin for the lion. We will come sometime in the next few quantants."

"Please don't hurt him." Shiro whispered before the screen turned off and Lance was gone once again. Keith immediately walked out of the room, storming down the corridor as he tried his hardest to hold back tears. He barged into the training room and took out his bayard to shed some of his negative energy.

"Hey, hey, Keith!" Shiro exclaimed before Keith could even summon the bot. He was gripping onto his sword, tears streaming down his pale cheeks.

"It's a trap. They're going to hurt him, Shiro. I know it. They're going to torture him and- and I don't think he's going to be able to take it." Shiro pried the weapon away from Keith, placing it down on the floor so that he could pull the red paladin in for a hug.

"He's strong. He can get through this. And I am aware that it's a trap but we're going along with it anyway. We can set up a trap for them too, you know? I could initiate the trade whilst Pidge gets Lance using their cloaking ability or something."

"Are we going to rescue him?"

"Yes, Keith. We're going to do everything we can to get him out of there." Keith sniffed, letting his head fall onto Shiro's shoulder as he accepted the physical comfort.


	17. Replaceable

"You're making this difficult for yourself," The Galra spoke through gritted teeth, his knife buried deep into Lance's flesh. His usually beautiful tanned skin had been branded a horrific red. Hot tears were streaming down his cheeks but his jaw remained tense: he was not going to tell the Galra anything. "Just answer the damn question already! What are the weaknesses and strengths of all the paladins?"

Lance let out a piercing scream as the Galran slowly removed the knife. Still, Lance remained silent, despite knowing the answer. Hunk was tactfully smart but his close combat was lacking. Keith acted too much on impulse but anger was a fuel that could push him to victory even in the hardest of battles. Shiro was intelligent and a strong leader but suffered with his past. Sometimes he just needed to sit down and breathe, especially amongst the panic attacks he'd still receive every so often. Then there was Pidge. They were a genius and their size made it easy for them to dodge attacks in battles. Their weakness was their actual fighting skills which, with a lot of training, had the potential to improve.

"Here's an idea, blue paladin... If you don't speak, you'll never see your friends again."

"That's an empty threat!" Lance yelled between heavy breaths. Black spots danced in front of his vision but he blinked them away.

"Oh yeah? They're going to be here within the next quintant to get you. They just might never get to see you alive again."

Lance stiffened, face going pale. He didn't want to die. He was seventeen years old (maybe eighteen? They didn't know how much earth time had passed) and that was too young to die. He had so much more he wanted to experience. The Galra hovered the blade of the knife over the inside of Lance's wrist. "Even better, we give them a clone and you stay here. We could torture you each quintant, listening to your wonderful screams and never letting you die. You'd beg and beg for mercy but we won't ever stop."

"They're going to get me."

"That's almost cute. You think they care about you. You're easily replaceable. I bet they're celebrating right now."

"That's not true!"

Satisfied that he had hit a soft spot, the Galra grinned. He pulled the knife backwards before moving it to Lance's left arm that was yet to be impaled. The skin was a blank canvas, ready to be drawn all over to create a masterpiece. "You know it is true, blue paladin. They won't know that we're giving them a clone."

"Yes, they would!"

"This is a battle with the universe at jeopardy. One weak paladin is insignificant and they know it." Lance let out an inhumane growl that elicited a chuckle from the Galran soldier. "Have I told you my name yet?"

"I don't give a fuck!"

"I think it's only fair I tell you since I know you're Lance. I'm Gort and, trust me, I will never let you forget my name."

Lance's scream echoed around the room as the knife pierced his skin. Blood dribbled down his shoulder, forming a puddle at his feet. Gort stepped backwards, smiling at his creation. The letter G was carved into Lance's upper arm.

-

"Pidge, hold back." Shiro muttered as he stepped down the steps of the black lion. Standing in front of him was a pair of Galran shoulders, covered in purple armour and holding large blasters. Lance was stood in between them, staring ahead with an empty expression covering his face. The blue paladin was shoved forward and collapsed onto his knees in front of Shiro.

"Take him. Exit through the pod inside the lion but leave the black lion in our possession." The Galran guard commanded, eyeing Shiro closely as he wrapped a large hand around Lance's bicep to help him up onto his feet.

"I understand." Shiro nodded and wrapped an arm around Lance to help him walk. Lance was completely silent as he was pulled aboard the black lion but he didn't move towards the escape pod inside. He sat Lance on his lap- the only place that wouldn't have his weak body thrown everywhere as they moved- and thrust the controls forward.

"Pidge, retreat! I have Lance and the lion, we don't need you to come in!"

"On it, Shiro!" The green lion came into view in front of him as they both darted out of the Galran ship. Shiro was breathing heavily, half focused on Lance and half on escaping. Once they reached the castle, Shiro landed the lion and hugged Lance against himself.

He was bombarded with the other paladins, all concerned for Lance's wellbeing. Shiro ignored them in favour of getting Lance to the med bay where he was finally able to lay down. "Give him space." He ordered as everyone, once again, attempted to crowd the blue paladin. Lance was whining and had curled himself up into a tight ball on top of the bed. He didn't seem as injured as the paladins had prepared for but his face was still littered with bruises and there were cuts scattered up his arms. "Lance? Can you hear me? You're on the Castle of Lions and you're safe. No one is going to hurt you, alright? We need to get you in the escape pod."

Lance responded with a dragged out, "No." His eyes had a shine covering them and his jaw was constantly tense. His breathing was ragged and irregular, something Shiro recognised as happening to him during a panic attack. He waved the others back to give Lance more space. If it was a panic attack, space was key.

"Lance, you need to focus on my voice. You're okay. We've rescued you. It's Shiro and I promise I won't let anyone hurt you ever again. I need you to calm down so we can make you feel better."

"Hurts..." Lance choked out, tears dribbling down his cheeks.

"I know, I know but we can make it better. We just need to get you into a pod. Is that okay with you?" A stiff nod was all Shiro anticipated in response so, when he received it, he tucked both of his arms beneath Lance's armpits and hoisted him up. The healing pod was open and ready so the effort required to put Lance inside it was minimal. When the door shut and Lance's eyes closed to create a facial expression of peace, the entire room let out a breath. As Shiro traced each injury on Lance's once pure body, he felt a hand slap against his back and make him jump.

"He's going to be okay. Whatever's wrong, the pod can heal it." Coran rubbed at the spot for a moment until Shiro's muscles loosened.

-

"Something's wrong." Coran murmured, flicking across the screen with his index finger. Pidge was leant over his shoulder, eyebrows furrowed in worry. "His... vitals..."

"What?" Keith turned around, hands clenched into fists. Shiro was beside him and grabbed Keith's wrist to stop him from doing something violent.

"It says he doesn't have a blood pressure and... and his heart isn't beating. That's impossible. We need to get him out. Right now." Coran jammed his hand down onto a button and the door flew open. Lance fell out but Shiro caught him in his arms and guided him over to the bed. Lance woke up quickly, sitting up and looking around, disorientated. "The pod must have malfunctioned..."

"I thought you said they didn't malfunction?" Keith argued, tracing his finger over Lance's cheek. Despite everything, it was still soft.

"They don't. It doesn't make sense." Coran headed over to Lance and scanned his body with his eyes. He drunk in each injury, down to the small bruise at the bottom of his shin. As Coran reached out and grabbed Lance's wrists, Lance jolted backwards.

"Don't touch him." Keith snapped, watching as tears welled up in Lance's eyes. Coran didn't let go, instead stroking the inside of the arm in search of a pulse. "You're scaring him!"

"He doesn't have a pulse. The pod wasn't malfunctioning."

"Quiznack..." Pidge mumbled in disbelief.

"What are you trying to say?"

"This isn't Lance. It must be a clone or something... They tricked us."


	18. The Former Blue Paladin

"They didn't come." Gort said as he cut into Lance's skin again. He let out a loud cry, tears streaming down his cheeks. "We arranged the time and they didn't even bother to show up."

"You're lying!" Lance gasped out in between screams.

"I'm not. They just didn't bother. Isn't that lovely? They don't care about you, blue paladin... or should I say former blue paladin? I bet they've replaced you already."

"N-No-"

"Accept it, Lance. You belong to the Galra now." The knife tore into his flesh once again; that time at the bottom of his shin. "We are never going to let you escape."

"They're going to come and get me."

"Your optimism is adorable but it won't get you anywhere. Tell me, what's your favourite limb? Your right arm because you use it to shoot? One of your legs because they allow you to run? Maybe your right one because you used to be the right leg of Voltron?"

"Who the fuck has a favourite limb?"

"That mouth... I think we need to do something about it. Maybe I could cut that tongue right off. I bet the other paladins would thank me for that because you never shut up. You're so annoying."

"They love my voice."

"Hilarious. Now you need to answer my question. Which limb?"

"I don't see why that's important."

"I want to rid you of one. Haggar might appreciate another little experiment like the Champion's metal arm. Maybe a metal leg this time?"

Shiro. Just the mention of his friend's name made him grit his teeth and curl his hands into weak fists. He leaned as far forward as he could with the restraints wrapped around his wrists and ankles. Surely, Shiro was out there, looking for him. He, of all people, knew how traumatising the Galra's methods of torture were.

"I see, mention of the Champion is a soft spot... interesting. Maybe we can get you an arm to match his." With that, the knife was plunged into his arm- just above his elbow. Fire spread up his arm to his shoulder and the screech he released was so high only dogs could hear it... if they were on earth; he didn't know what the hearing ranges of aliens were.

"Fuck you."

"We need to cut that bite out of you. I bet you'd be even more beautiful if you knew when to shut up."

"You're never going to get me to shut up. Ask my family. I haven't shut up in seventeen years. I came out of the womb screaming."

"You, humans, all bark no bite..."

"I can bite too, if you're into that."

"Just shut up!" Gort screamed, leaving the weapon embedded in Lance's arm. "Bronko, you know what the Rag needs."

"Rag?" Lance laughed at the Galran insult but the laugh soon fizzled into a scream as the chains tugged his limbs in different directions. He could feel his bones popping out of their sockets and the pain was unimaginable. "Stop! Stop! P-Please!"

"Bronko!" The chains released Lance so that he collapsed onto the ground. He fell on his shin and whimpered at the pain enveloping him. "You better keep your mouth shut from now on."

"I- I will! Just make the pain s-stop."

"Pathetic human." Gort swerved around after pulling the knife out of Lance's arm. He walked towards the door and had just pushed it open when Lance questioned where he was going. "You don't get constant hospitality, blue paladin. I have better things to do than torture you all the time."

"Please- please don't-" The door slammed shut behind Gort, elapsing the room into darkness. Lance shifted his position so he wasn't putting much weight onto his shin and laid down on his back. His breathing was ragged as every time he inhaled, the pain multiplied. Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to imagine his room back at home. He hoped he was stuck in a horrific nightmare and he'd wake up back in that familiar room.

-

When Gort returned, the light shining from the hallway blinded Lance. He let out a soft whimper, moving his arm to cover his eyes but regretting it as soon as the pain shot through him again. Gort was holding a tray with a purple thing on it that sort of resembled a bread roll. There was a glass of water sitting beside it. Dropping it down on the floor in front of Lance, he clapped his hands and turned on the light.

"That works, does it?" Lance quipped but it came out much weaker than he had expected. "I'm not eating this crap. It could be poisoned for all I know."

"Yeah, yeah. If I wanted you dead, I'd do it in a much slower and more painful way. Just eat it." Lance reached out with a trembling hand and picked up the 'bread roll'. He took a hesitant bite, chewing it into small pieces before swallowing. His stomach lurched at the unknown food but he continued to eat to get rid of the hunger pains. "Good boy. Now drink." Lance gulped down the liquid, grateful as it moistened his mouth. "We've got an adventure for you today."

"An adventure? That sounds so fun. What you going to do? Try out a new knife on me?"

"No, you're going to see Haggar."

"You can't make me move." His argument was pathetic and he knew it but he didn't want to see that monster. He knew what she was capable of. Gort let out a loud growl before wrapping an arm around Lance's bicep and hoisting him up. He grunted in pain as pressure was put on the cuts.

"I can make you do anything at this point, Lance. It will be easier for both of us if you just cooperate. Now can I let go of you and trust you to follow?" Lance hung his head but nodded. Gort let go of him and he trailed slowly behind him as they walked down the corridor. "Good boy."

"I'm not a dog."

"Unless you want me to cut your arm again, you should shut your mouth." Lance rolled his eyes but followed the order so he didn't have to go through any more pain. A couple of moments passed before they reached a tall door and Lance was shoved through it. "Do everything she says or you will be made to regret it."

"Sure, sure. Not like I have much of a choice." Lance scrambled up onto his feet, pain screaming in his shin. Standing in front of him was Haggar and she didn't look at all happy.

-

"Keith," Shiro started. "Keith, listen to me."

Keith let out a loud grunt, his hands curled into fists as he turned to face Shiro. His face was bright red in anger and, for a moment, Shiro feared Keith would hit him. "I will not listen to you! Lance- Lance is still trapped with the Galra and I won't stop until he's back."

"Keith, you overworking yourself won't help. We need you to be at your best when we initiate a fight. If you're tired, we won't be able to do it. You need to rest."

"I don't understand how any of you can eat or sleep whilst he isn't here. You know what they're capable of. They're probably torturing him. I bet he's so scared..." Tears welled up in Keith's eyes but he distracted Shiro from looking at them by letting out a frustrated growl.

"I know but we need to be patient. Patience yields focus. We can get him back, Keith. I know it."

"I- I can't-"

"Come on, I'll make you something to eat." Keith sniffed, wiping at his eyes before following Shiro out of the training room.

-

As Shiro and Keith sat across each other in the kitchen, Keith nibbling at some of the food goop, the silence felt like a massive weight on top of their shoulders. The silence used to be filled with Lance's stupid jokes and quips. Keith couldn't believe he ever thought they were annoying. In that moment, they were all he wanted to hear. "D-Do we even have a plan?" Keith murmured after swallowing some of the food.

"Yes, we do. We're going to distract the Galra somehow whilst Pidge gets Lance using their cloaking ability." Shiro responded, picking at his own meal.

"How will you distract them?"

"We're going to create holograms of our lions to lure their battleships out. Pidge is going to get inside then."

"How do we make the hologram things?"

"Pidge is working on a device. We can operate it from the Castle."

"You think it will work this time?"

"We can only hope." Shiro reached across the table and placed his hand on top of Keith's. "Lance would want us to hope. I'm sure he has hope too, okay? We can't give up." Shiro's rubbed his thumb against Keith's dry skin. "We're going to get Lance back. I know it. We just need to wait for Pidge to finish building the... machine. Then we can go get him right away."

"I hope he forgives us..."

"Forgives us?"

"For letting him leave. We should- should have been there for him and rescued him from that pod before the Galra-" Keith's breath hitched and his entire body stiffened up as if it was turning to ice. He pushed the plate- it was still full of food- away from him and stood up. "You should try to sleep."

"I don't think I'll be able to."

"At least try. I can be there with you if you want. I know you used to sleep better when I-" Keith nodded and that was enough for Shiro to cut himself off. They headed to Keith's room in silence before curling up in bed together.

 


	19. Betrayal

Lance didn't remember passing out but eventually he did come to. Everything around him was a blur and his head felt much heavier than usual. He couldn't feel his right arm. His head jolted downwards to look at it and he screamed when he couldn't see the limb. "What-" He started but he couldn't get anything else out. The entire room was spinning around him and his entire body was tingling.

"Beautiful," Gort reached out and brushed his fingertips against Lance's cheek. Lance flinched away from the touch, tears trailing down his cheeks. He started to thrash around as much as he could in the restraints, letting out a long scream as he did so. "You need to calm down for me."

He groaned, his breathing heavy. It felt like he wasn't inhaling enough oxygen and was on the verge of passing out but that was the least of his worries. He didn't have an arm. He _didn't have an arm_. It was gone. Lance felt something prick into his arm before his head lulled backwards and everything faded to black.

-

"Are you going to cooperate this time?" Gort questioned in a surprisingly soft tone. Lance blinked a couple of times to focus his vision before he noticed the Galran standing in front of him. He let out a light whimper as he realised his limbs felt much too heavy to move. "Good boy. Don't panic."

"Where- I-" Lance started but even his lips felt like lead.

"We know how much you look up to the Champion," Gort grinned, pride spreading across his features. "So we made you more like him."

"Please-"

"Quiet. Haggar wants to test out a new mechanical arm on you. It is much more powerful than Shiro's and it's much lighter."

"When..?"

"Haggar will give you the arm tomorrow. For now, I get to have my fun with you." Gort had his signature knife in his right hand and Lance's heart dropped at the sight. He groaned loudly as Gort pressed the tip of the blade into his left arm. Blood dripped from the wound as Lance's lips moved to form words but nothing was coming out. If Gort could read his lips, he'd have seen the words _please. Please. I can't take it anymore._

-

Pidge let out a loud cry as they wired the machine. Hunk was sat beside them, watching each of their moves closely. Both of them were trembling as they worked on it, both due to anxiety and a lack of sleep. "We have a problem..." Pidge whispered, fully aware that Hunk knew what they meant. "We haven't got enough parts. We need to get to a mall... and quick."

Hunk stood up, legs weak beneath him. "I'll go and get Coran. I'm sure we can take a mini detour. He wants us to help Lance more than anyone." Hunk raced out of the room and down the corridor to Coran's bedroom. He didn't bother knocking on the door before barging into the room and rambling out a string of sentences. "Coran, we're missing some parts. We could pick them up from a space mall but we need to hurry. These pieces are all we need before we can- we can get-"

That was all Coran needed. He pulled himself out of bed, rubbed his eyes and murmured, "I'll turn the ship around. I'm sure we can make it to a mall in a few vargas."

-

"Are you ready to answer some questions for me, sweetheart?" Gort asked, poking the tip of his knife against Lance's chest. He had already ripped apart Lance's wrist to the point that there wasn't any skin visible; just blood. "Tell me, what specialties do the lions have? We know the green one can use the earth element. What about the others?"

"I'm not going to tell you..." Lance murmured because there wasn't much of a point. If he was going to suffer for eternity, regardless of whether he gave away Voltron's secrets or not, he'd rather not help the Galra.

"We'll get information from you sometime. Do you want me to introduce a new device to you? Haggar has been dying to test it on a subject." Gort turned to the door just as another, smaller, Galran guard entered the room with a device that almost looked like a collar in his hands. He approached Lance, unclipping the collar and then securing it around Lance's neck. They then handed Gort a small remote controller and Lance's entire body stiffened. "I'm going to try that again. What are the lions' specialties?"

"I refuse-" Before Lance could even finish his sentence, an electric shock travelled through his body. The screech that escaped him was animalistic, echoing around the room. Gort was laughing obnoxiously, basking in Lance's pain as if it was the equivalent of candy to a child to him.

"Let's start with your favourite paladin after the Champion. Keith, is that his name? What can his lion do?"

"No, no, no, n-" Another shock, ten times as worse as the first one. Lance sobbed, trying his hardest to jerk away from the sensation but failing as he was chained down.

"Red. What can the red lion do?"

"I can't-"

"You're never going to see them again. Betray them and I will stop. You can end this pain right now if you just answer the question." Lance couldn't get any words out to form a retort as he hunched over and wailed. A third shock rung through him and the pain was enough for his vision to be enveloped in blackness.

-

Pidge ran back into the Castle, hands full of metal parts and Hunk not too far behind. They headed straight for the room with the machine in it, ready to work on it all over again. Coran called after them, making them halt before they could get passed the doorway. "You both need to rest. It's been a long quintant." He said, watching as both of their faces hardened.

"We don't have the time to rest! We need to get this finished as soon as we can so we can rescue Lance!" Pidge yelled but they couldn't deny how tired they felt. Their limbs felt like lead and their eyelids were so heavy that they kept trying to close themselves.

"We can't risk you making a mistake either. Please, Number Five, go and lay down."

Pidge was too tired to argue so followed the order with Hunk at their tow. They ended up both sleeping in Pidge's room: they didn't want to risk leaving anyone alone anymore. Not after Lance.

-

"You want the pain to stop, don't you?" Gort teased after Lance had become conscious again. His entire body was shaking like a leaf as it waited for the electric shock that could come at any moment. His eyes were dry of tears as his body was slowly becoming dehydrated. "The punishment gets worse each time you don't listen, sweetheart."

"S-Stop calling me that..." Lance gasped out before the shock ran through him once again. He let out a weak cry that hardly resembled the strength in his previous ones.

"You aren't getting any food if you don't tell me the red lion's specialty." Lance refused. He kept his mouth pursed shut and persevered with his stubbornness. As expected, he was shocked all over again. "No water next. I've heard you weak humans can only last a few quintants without it." Still, Lance refused. As he was shocked again, he closed his eyes and tried to imagine he was anywhere else but the Galra ship. He imagined being back on the roof of the Garrison with Hunk and Pidge. He imagined them joking about an alien invasion when Pidge had admitted they believed other species were out there. The universe was too large not to have other living species, they had said.

He was jerked out of his imagination when the pain returned.

"You're such a stubborn Rag. I can see why the paladins were glad to get rid of you. Have you heard? They've found another blue paladin."

"No," Lance whispered with the last bit of his energy. "They- They wouldn't-"

"You have so much faith in them, don't you... it's almost endearing... They betrayed you. Do you want proof?" Lance hastily nodded because the others letting him down wasn't something he'd believe without seeing it himself. As annoying as he thought he was, he knew the others were loyal to him and to each other. Gort let out a soft chuckle before a small Galran soldier entered the room with a box.

Gort pressed a couple of buttons on it before a holographic image filled the air. Lance could only watch as the blue lion flew through the air without him. It eventually zoomed into the cockpit where no other than Allura was sitting, a large grin on her face.

Lance felt like he was going to puke. Body stiffening, bile rose up his throat before escaping his mouth. He was crying heavier, although nothing but noises were escaping him. He didn't have any more tears to cry. "Not- No- They-" He tried but his words were as jumbled up as his thoughts. The paladins had known what Allura did and they still let her back on the team? He really didn't want to believe it but the evidence was right there, in his face.

"They replaced you."

"I don't know what Red's ability is," Lance admitted in a quiet voice that was barely audible. Gort turned off the projector, shuffling nearer to Lance. "Yellow is really strong... and- and Blue can freeze things. She loved the water too and doubled almost like a- a boat... Green can cloak herself. You- You know, make herself invisible. The others don't- don't know their abilities yet..."

"Good boy. See, all it took was your cooperation and then the pain's over. That's all." Lance hated that he was satisfied with that.

 


	20. The Light

"It's done." Pidge whispered, stepping back and marvelling at their work. Hunk stood proudly beside them, one hand on his hip as the other wiped at his sweaty forehead. Shiro stood behind them and neither knew how long he'd been there.

"Alright. We can rest for one more night and then, when we are refreshed, we can get Lance back." Shiro spoke, hope returning to his tone. They all nodded in exact unison, more than prepared for such a task. All they could do was cross their fingers that everything went to plan.

-

"Good boy..." Gort whispered as Lance nibbled at his Galran bread roll. Gort had brought him some sort of green thing with it. He had no idea what it was but it had a sour taste that made Lance's taste buds dance and sing. The water also had some sort of flavouring to it as it was tinted pink and tasted almost like an Earth strawberry. He gulped back the liquid without savouring it. "Do you want more of that?"

Nodding slowly, he eyed Gort for any signs of a catch. Of course there was one.

"If you answer one question for me, sweetheart. When the green lion uses its cloaking ability, can you still feel it? Or does it disappear completely?"

"I- I think you can feel it." Lance looked up at Gort through wide, empty eyes as he nodded his head. Gort stood up and disappeared for a few moments before returning with more of the special juice. He sipped at it that time, savouring each moment.

"May I look at your arm?" Choosing against saying anything, Lance held out his arm for Gort to inspect. It had been ripped apart not long earlier and the blood had dried up. Gort mumbled something under his breath before exiting the room once again and returning with a damp cloth. He wiped Lance's arm until only the cuts were visible. "We can't have you dying on us."

"How k-kind of you..."

Gort hushed Lance, reaching out and tracing his cheek with the tip of his finger. "None of those smart retorts of yours anymore, okay? You don't want to be punished, do you?" Lance shook his head, body trembling at the thought alone.

-

"You know what to do, right?" Shiro murmured into his secret earpiece. Once he received confirmation from Pidge, he realised he was live to the entirety of the Galran empire. "Uh, hello Galrans. It's Shiro here, paladin of the black lion. We have realised that you didn't rightfully return Lance to us and we want to propose a second chance to make such a trade. I assure you that we will stick by our end of the bargain and give you Black. We also offer you the red lion as well. We just want the blue paladin in return." He couldn't tell how the Galran responded to the message but the doors of the ship were slowly coming open which seemed like an invitation.

He thrust the controls forward towards the Galran ship. Pidge was behind him, the lion invisible as a result of its cloaking ability. Shiro landed the lion aboard the ship but didn't exit until Pidge had confirmed that they were inside too.

Shiro stepped down, coming face to face with a pair of Galran guards. He cleared his throat, watching as the soldier's faces remained emotionless. "Please bring Lance to me and I will give you the lions as we proposed."

They charged at him but Shiro was prepared for the attack. He curled his robotic hand into a fist and sent it flying towards the first soldier he saw, knocking them out with a single hit. The other stumbled backwards at the sight. Shiro repeated his actions onto the second guard until he was also unconscious.

"We're in." Pidge whispered across the coms, infiltrating Shiro with a mound of hope. Shiro headed to the door behind where the guards had once been standing. He grabbed one of them, lugging them along with him until they were close enough to touch the scanner with their limp hands. The door flew open immediately at the contact.

"Doors open ready for exit."

"Okay, target spotted."

"Don't call Lance a target. It makes him sound evil." Pidge didn't respond, presumably because they couldn't. The coms went completely silent for a few doboshes, the moments creeping by at an agonisingly slow pace. It was taunting Shiro as the fear and anxiety ate at him. He clenched his fists and stood as tall as he could, swallowing down the negative emotions in favour of protecting his team.

"Shiro, are you clear?"

"Yes, yes, all's clear."

"We've got him. H-He's in a bad state. Get ready to leave. I don't think the guards will be distracted for much longer."

"Okay! Black's ready to go!" Shiro yelled as he raced back inside his lion, settling his hands on the controls for a quick take off.

"Shit, shit!" Pidge screeched, their voice muffled by the transmission. Eventually, they reached the lion and Shiro saw the tiny figures of the green, blue and yellow paladins come into view. "Go, go, go!" Shiro shoved the controls forward and Black lurched into the air, escaping out of the ship. The doors were coming down quickly and the room was flooding with guards, an alarm roaring in the air.

"You with me, Pidge?"

"Yes! Just shut up and get out!" The door was about halfway closed before the green lion slid beneath it, their head just scraping the bottom of it. The only sound on the coms was heavy breathing whilst they followed through with the plans they had gone over a million times.

Shiro reached for his bayard, shoving it into its designated slot inside the lion. A blinding flash of yellow light spread through Black's head before a portal opened in front of it. His large hands wrapped around the control sticks before he raced forward into the wormhole, Green not far behind. "Coran, Keith, you with us?"

Coran's response was a harsh grunt as they entered the wormhole. They only gave time to properly breathe and speak once they were out the other side, a safe distance from the Galran ship. Black and Green boarded the ship, the paladins leaping out of the lions whilst breathing erratically. Keith was there, waiting for them. He pulled Lance into a long hug, burying his head into the blue paladin's neck and breathing him in.

"Never run away again. Please. I can't lose you again. I missed you so much. I thought you were dead, Lance. Promise me you won't run away again." Keith rambled, his voice muffled by Lance's skin.

It was in that moment that Lance realised just how _still_ Lance was. He had tensed up and frozen which was very unlike the blue paladin who always loved hugs. Keith backed up and finally realised just how _bad_ Lance looked. His face was devoid of colour with the exception of the black ring around his right eye and a red scar running across his left cheek. He was wearing rags as opposed to his armour and... he didn't have a right arm anymore. Where skin was showing, it was black, blue or covered with a horrific amount of cuts.

"We need to get him to a healing pod before he passes out." Shiro commanded, wrapping his arm around Lance's shoulder to support his weight. That was enough to make Lance tremble and let out a soft cry in protest. He was too weak to do anything else to fight the contact. Keith went the other side of the blue paladin, doing the same so that they could guide Lance to the med bay with ease. When they reached the healing pods, Lance started to sob at a worryingly high volume.

"Hey, hey," Keith offered. "You're going to be okay. Nobody's going to hurt you. You're safe here."

"You- You- You-" Lance tried but he couldn't stop stumbling on the first word of the sentence. After a few more seconds, he went limp and his eyes fell shut. Keith and Shiro both exchanged a worried look before hoisting the paladin into the healing pod.

Vargas and vargas passed but Keith insisted on waiting outside. Shiro brought him food to eat outside the healing pod but he had just pushed it away, refusing to eat until he knew Lance was okay. The scent of the food poked at his nostrils but he ignored it, not wanting to let his guard down in case Lance woke up. Eventually, Lance's eyes opened and he stumbled out of the pod.

Keith caught him in his arms and their eyes met for a brief moment. "Lance," Keith choked out, pulling him into a weirdly positioned hug. "I knew you'd be okay."

"D-Don't touch m-me." Lance said, scrambling out of Keith's grip. His legs were like jelly so he just collapsed right onto the floor with a soft moan.

"L-Lance?"

"Y-You replaced me. T-This can't b-be real..." Lance squinted his eyes, choosing against standing up again. He crawled towards the wall and pulled his knees up to his chest.

"It is real. I promise you. Everything here is real and you are okay. Nobody is going to hurt you anymore. I won't let them. D-Do you maybe want to talk about what happened?"

"N-No." Lance had buried his head into his knees so that his voice was muffled. Keith hated seeing the blue paladin so vulnerable.

"O-Okay. Do you want to go back to your room?"

"Y-Yes, please." Keith held out his hand to help Lance up but was ignored. Sighing, Lance began to head back to his quarters where he hoped he could pretend things were okay. Keith tagged behind him, even going as far as to watch him climb into bed.

"Do you need a drink or- or something?" Lance shook his head, even though his throat resembled the desert Keith had lived in back on earth. He laid his head against his pillow and begged the world to let him wake up from the horrific nightmare. "You want to sleep?" Keith took Lance's silence as a yes so flicked off the lights without thinking too much.

Almost immediately, he heard a shaky sob. Keith turned the light back on to reveal Lance had curled up into a ball and was rocking back and forth on the bed. "Hey, hey, Lance..." He mumbled, heading over to the bed. He wasn't really sure how to respond to the attack so laid a gentle hand on the paladin's back. Lance jolted away as if his touch was fire.

"Get away f-from me!" He screamed, so loudly that the entire Castle probably heard. Keith jumped up and backed away, holding his hands in the air in defence. Shiro came rushing to the room upon hearing the yell and instantaneously shoved Keith to the side.

"He's having a panic attack! Do you have any idea what triggered it?" He asked, rushing up to Lance's side and bending down to meet his height on the bed.

"The l-light. I just- I thought-" Keith stammered, tears welling up in his eyes as he watched the scene outlay itself.

"Lance, listen to me, you're okay. You aren't back there. You're on the Castle of Lions. I'm Shiro and Keith is also here. You're safe. Nothing is going to hurt you and we won't fiddle with the lights unless you want us to. You aren't going to get hurt and you won't have to be alone again. Just breathe with me, okay? We can make you feel better."

It took about ten long dobashes before Lance was calm again. Shiro had to continuously whisper words to ground the blue paladin but, eventually, he had managed to do it. Lance had continued to cry into his shoulder but was breathing more normally. When Lance finally laid back down, both Shiro and Keith let out a sigh full of relief. "You didn't touch him, did you?" Shiro questioned.

Keith shrunk back, heart beating fast inside his chest. "I- I didn't know what to do..."

"Never touch someone having a panic attack. It often makes things worse."

"I-I'm sorry. I made it worse..." Keith rubbed his eyes as a poor attempt to fight back the tears welling up in them. It wasn't enough as, a few dobashes later, the dam broke. He hunched over and sobbed into his hands whilst Lance and Shiro watched with wide eyes. Then he was engulfed into a warm embrace and he buried his head into Shiro's broad shoulder.

"You didn't know but now you do. It's okay."

"I-It's not. I-"

"Keith, it's okay. You're new to comforting people. I get it. But we can do this, okay? We all make mistakes."


	21. Apple and Cinnamon

When Lance woke up, he was met with a bright light. His breath immediately hitched and he started to struggle as much as he could. That night he had had a rather pleasant dream that he had been rescued but he knew where he really was. Haggar was probably waiting to give him his new arm; _didn't she say she was going to do that today?_ He felt numb all over as if he hadn't been stabbed with a knife countless times. Letting out a whine, he realised he was underneath a sheet. Lance threw it off of him and jolted into the sitting position, confused when he noticed he wasn't chained up.

"Lance, everything's okay. You're in the Castle and all of this is real." A voice started to murmur. Lance turned away from it, lips pursed as he stared a hole into the wall. It was a soft blue colour which matched the one in his bedroom on the ship. "You're in your room, okay?"

"Gort..?" Lance murmured, squinting his eyes and beginning to look around the room. Everything was just like his room back at the Castle but that was impossible. He was still with the Galra. He used his trembling hand to pull his legs forward so he could hug them.

"I don't know what that means, Lance... Is that someone's name?" Shiro didn't expect a response so wasn't surprised when Lance just let out a fragile whimper. "Do you want breakfast?"

"B-Breakfast?"

"Yes, Lance, breakfast. Hunk made something similar to bacon for us. He said it's delicious."

"But- But don't you need to ask me something f-first?"

"What do you mean?"

"F-For information?"

"No, no, no, we don't want to do that. We're your friends, okay? You can trust us."

Lance shook his head rapidly, burying it in between his knees. "You r-replaced me." Shiro's face paled and his mouth fell open.

"We didn't... Whatever they told you, they were wrong."

"Allura flies the... the blue lion."

"No, she doesn't. You fly the blue lion. You always will." Lance was too tired and hungry to put up much more of a fight so hoisted himself out of bed. His legs were like jelly beneath him so Shiro had to wrap an arm around him to keep him steady. Lance stiffened at the contact. "I'm just going to take you to the kitchen. Do you feel up to seeing everyone else? I could make them wait for food?"

"Everyone else..." Lance muttered which Shiro took as he didn't mind. When they reached the kitchen, Hunk was the only one inside. He was plating some food from the pan so he didn't even realise the others' presence until Shiro greeted him.

"Hello Shiro and Lance. I hope you're hungry because I sort of overdid the... bacon." Lance's stomach growled loudly but each of them ignored it. "I think Keith is just showering and Pidge... who knows what they're doing. We can eat without them." Hunk placed the dishes down in front of each seat before sitting opposite Lance.

After Hunk passed around cutlery, Shiro realised something wasn't quite right. Lance was hunched over in his chair, not even looking at his food, and he was breathing heavily. "Lance..." The black paladin murmured, making Lance's head snap up to look at him but he wasn't... looking at him. He was staring straight through him as if he was made of glass.

"P-Please-" Lance stammered, using his arm to try and wipe away his tears. Both Hunk and Shiro frowned, not entirely sure what the trigger had been.

"You're okay, Lance. Nobody's going to hurt you here. I promise. I will personally try my hardest to make sure you're safe. You aren't back with the Galra, you are on the Castle of Lions with Voltron. Hunk and Shiro are currently with you and we want you to be okay."

"I- I can't take it a-anymore. I'll speak. P-Please don't-"

"Hey, hey, I won't do anything. I won't even touch you. We just want you to know you're safe."

"S-Shiro..?"

"Yes, Lance, it's me." Lance then started to cry into his hand, heavy and hopeless. In that moment, Keith walked into the kitchen with heavy footsteps, making Lance jolt his head up to look at him. "It's only Keith, Lance. You're safe."

"K-Keith?"

"Yeah, he won't hurt you."

"C-Can I go to my room?"

"Of course. You don't need to ask." Lance stood up and wiped his eyes with his fist before darting out of the room. Upon realising he probably shouldn't be left on his own, Shiro followed.

"The knives..." Hunk whispered in realisation. "This is all my fault."

-

"T-They cut me..." Lance refused to look at Shiro, instead, burying his head into his knees. "So much."

"We know, Lance..." Shiro chose to kept his voice as soft as possible so he didn't scare Lance into closing himself off again.

"It hurt so much. I- I just wanted it to stop but it never did. No matter how much I screamed. T-Then they took my arm and- and- and-"

"Lance, you don't need to tell us until you're ready. Come on, lay down. You can try to rest if you want to." Lance started to cry all over again, sobs hardly muffled by his knees. Shiro sat down on the bed and kept about a metre between them. "Tell me about something else. Your family maybe? You love talking about your brothers and sisters, don't you?"

"Luis was addicted to video games. We used to play games together all the time and I was always better at... at the shooting ones. He used to get angry at me when I won and call me a cheater. I never did cheat. I- I guess I just had a natural talent for shooting. Then there was Veronica who hated video games. She used to try and get us to play board games with her but, when we did, she'd cheat. We played Monopoly once and she stole at least 2000 from the bank... and still lost. When Luis got a hold of the dark blues, he was undefeatable."

"That's nice. Did you ever win?"

"Not often. I spent my money much too recklessly."

"Me too. When I tried to play with... with Adam, he'd demolish me. I'd try buying every space I landed on and would be on the verge of bankruptcy before I even got to go the first time." At the mention of his ex-boyfriend from Earth, Shiro's voice wobbled. It was a hard topic for him to face but he understood that Lance was in the worst position. He swallowed back his own pain and leant forward so Lance knew he was listening to him.

Lance let out a soft chuckle. "That was literally me."

"What else did you and your siblings do together?"

"Well... Luis also liked to cook so he loved Hunk. They use to cook together whilst I just lingered and tried my hardest to be annoying. I can't cook at all but I've been blessed with a brother and a best friend who are insanely talented at it. Just imagine all the cookies I got to eat. It was heaven."

"Did you have a favourite thing they cooked for you?"

"Uh... one time they made these apple and cinnamon cupcakes and, man, they were to die for. I loved them so much. I think I ate at least ten in one day."

"Those sound really nice."

"They were. I wish I could have one now..." Lance trailed off, voice full of sadness all over again. Shiro quickly asked another question to distract him again.

"What's your favourite scent?"

"Vanilla. Mamà always smelt of it. I also liked cinnamon because Hunk sort of smells like that."

"Do you recognise what everyone smells like?"

"You smell like citrus. Coran smells... spicy, I guess. Pidge smells constantly like coffee which is strange since there isn't any coffee in space... Keith smells more musky."

"It's really cool that you notice little things like that."

"I don't know why but I always have." It made sense when Shiro contemplated it. Whilst Lance found it hard to follow instructions and sit still for any period of time exceeding five doboshes, he was the most loyal friend a person could have. He'd listen to people's worries -no matter how petty- and he'd remember minute, seemingly insignificant details about people. He was the one to notice when Pidge had cut their hair, doing a rather poor job with the Altean equivalent of scissors. He had been the one to notice the tiny signs of a panic attack in Shiro so he could stop it from escalating. He noticed the little differences in Hunk's recipes, down to a slight alteration in how much spice he included. Lance would also be the one to notice the first signs of homesickness in Coran and the signs of exhaustion in Keith. He was surprisingly observant for someone who tended to struggle concentrating. So it only made sense that he remembered each of his friend's scents.


	22. Restraints

"Lance, we need to get the collar off of you, alright?" Shiro said, watching as Lance tensed up and shuffled against the wall. His eyes were shining with tears but Shiro had to take it off of him. "I'll do it as quickly as I can but it needs to be done."

"P-Please-" Lance stammered, hugging his knees against his chest.

"You must understand. You'll feel better when it's off."

"Hurry up, p-please." Lance moved forward and turned so that Shiro had access to his neck. Shiro leaned forward and pulled the collar off within seconds but it was enough to make Lance breakdown. He let out a loud sob, body resembling a statue out of sheer terror. He started rambling incoherent words; the only ones Shiro could make out was ' _please_ '. It hurt him to see his fellow paladin and friend, rendered so scared and vulnerable.

"It's done. That's it done, Lance. I'm not going to touch you again. You're safe. I promise." A knock on Lance's bedroom door made him stiffen up all over again, the signs of another panic attack surfacing. Before it could get any worse, Hunk opened the door, holding a tray of what looked like cupcakes. "It's only Hunk..." Shiro whispered so Lance was completely aware of the situation. Lance met eyes with Shiro as if to check he was being honest.

"Shiro told me how much you liked my apple and cinnamon cupcakes," Hunk said in a soft, relaxing tone. He shuffled forward, holding the tray out towards Lance. "They aren't the exact same but they're the best I can do with the limited resources in space."

Lance looked at Shiro, as if to ask if it was okay for him to eat one. Shiro nodded, encouraging Lance to reach out and take one of the cakes. He took a tentative bite out of it, the tiniest of smiles appearing on his face as he swallowed it. "It tastes just like the ones on Earth..." Lance murmured in shock, just before taking another bite.

"I tried my best."

"T-Thank you, Hunk."

"You don't need to thank me. I just want you to be okay, buddy."

Lance didn't respond because he was too busy devouring the cupcake.

-

"It's just a nightmare, Lance, you need to wake up." Shiro said as Lance began to thrash around on the bed. He was letting out loud, piercing screams that were unbearable for Shiro to hear. Not wanting to touch Lance but knowing it was necessary, Shiro poked Lance's left arm. "Come on, Lance, you're safe. You're on the-" Shiro couldn't finish his sentence because Lance's hand jolted outwards and smashed right into his face.

"Quiznack..." He muttered, holding his hand up to where he'd been hit. "Lance, please. You're safe here. No one is going to hurt you. I-It's Shiro."

Lance continued to scream, hand getting dangerously close to hitting Shiro again. Shiro needed to get someone else. He rushed out into the halls and yelled for the other paladins. Coran was the quickest, racing down the halls and into Lance's bedroom where he was still freaking out. "Lance, my boy, it was just a nightmare. You're safe here in the Castle." He whispered but Lance didn't do anything to show he was coherent.

"Be careful, Coran, he- he doesn't know who we are. He hit me."

"Lance, Lance, come on," Coran leaned forward which was a mistake because Lance's fist was headed straight for him too. The Altean stumbled backwards, eyes wide and full of shock. "I think we need to sedate him. He's a danger to himself."

"But-"

"We have to try, Shiro. He's going to injure someone. In the medbay, there's a syringe and some serum in the first draw of the desk. Can you bring it to me?" Shiro nodded before rushing out of the room and returning with the items not long later. Coran filled up the syringe before piercing it into the pale skin of Lance's wrist. His body immediately relaxed, falling back against the bed. "I think we need to take him to the medbay, Shiro. He'll be safer there. I think... I think he's a danger to himself."

-

When Lance woke up, he couldn't move. He tried to tug at his hand but it was being held down by something, as were his feet. His breathing picked up in frequency as he tried his hardest to struggle and free himself but failed. He screamed as he realised he was helpless, all over again. A face appeared above him and he let out another shout, waiting for his arm to be impaled with a knife. He knew what Gort liked to do.

"Lance, you're okay. We can take off the restraints. We just need to know you won't hurt yourself or anyone else. It's Shiro here, not a Galra. I'm your friend, okay?"

"Get me out, p-please. I- I don't want- I-"

Lance was hushed as his terrified eyes darted around the room. They laid upon Shiro and Coran and it took him a moment but he soon found himself recognising their familiar faces. He let out a soft sob before nodding his head to promise he wouldn't hurt anyone. Shiro leaned forward and untied the restraints, letting Lance move his limbs again.

"You're okay, Lance. You're okay."

"S-Shiro, I- I- don't- don't tie me up again. P-Please don't. I- I'll do anything, I swear!"

"We won't, okay? You just had a bad nightmare and seemed really disorientated so we didn't have much of a choice."

"P-Please don't hurt me..."

"We're not going to. You're safe with us. I promise."

-

A few movements passed and Lance was slowly improving. It took a lot of effort from all of the paladins to figure out specific triggers but, slowly, Lance's panic attacks got more spread out. He had managed to go back to his room and sleep with dimmed lights (darkness still wasn't good for him though) and he could be alone without freaking out. He hadn't been able to even look at the training room or any weapons but he could eat food and look at his amputated arm without breaking down into sobs.

He had even been able to open up to Shiro and Keith about what he had gone through.

They had just been sitting in Lance's room, talking about something random, when Lance had brought up his arm. He explained to them about how he had woken up and his arm had just... not been there. He had broken down into tears but persevered through the story. By the end of it, he had started to cry into Keith's shoulder, his forehead pressed into Keith's jacket. It was the most contact that Lance had ever allowed.

"How would you feel about a mechanical arm?" Shiro had softly said, watching Lance closely for any of the first signs of a panic attack.

"They were going to give me one but- but you rescued me first. T-Thank you."

"You don't need to thank us. We should have got to you sooner... but I'm sure Pidge and Hunk could create an arm for you."

"Y-You think?"

Shiro nodded, backed up by Keith saying, "They're Hunk and Pidge so... yeah."

 


	23. Keith's Knife

It took about a movement but Pidge and Hunk had managed to design and build a mechanical arm for Lance. They had both put vargas and vargas into it until they had created the limb. Lance was sat on the bed of the medbay, tentatively watching as Coran prepared the sedative. "S-Shiro?" Lance stammered, turning his head to meet eyes with the black paladin. Keith was standing beside him.

"You're going to be okay, Lance. It's just going to be a prick and then you're going to fall asleep."

"I- I-" Lance held his hand out, hoping that Shiro and Keith would take the hint. Shiro threaded his fingers through Lance's and Keith wrapped his arm around Lance's wrist.

"You're alright. Coran's going to sedate you now, if you're ready. Are you ready?" Lance nodded his head, gripping Shiro's hand tightly. Coran shuffled over with the syringe, making sure it was ready for injection. "He's going to do it but don't panic. It's going to be okay. You're going to wake up and feel much better." Coran pricked Lance's arm and the blue paladin quickly relaxed before falling against the bed. Shiro and Keith backed up to give Coran the space he needed to attach the new limb.

-

When Lance woke up, he felt peculiar. He glanced down at himself through thin eyes and couldn't help the gasp that escaped once he saw his new arm. It looked just like Shiro's but was a darker shade of grey and didn't appear to glow. "How are you feeling?" A voice asked, making Lance look back up to meet eyes with Shiro.

"Mm... I'm okay..." He murmured, attempting to lift the arm up. It couldn't move very far but even the slightest shift was enough to elicit excitement in the blue paladin.

"It might take awhile for you to adjust to it but the surgery couldn't have gone better." Coran explained, making Lance smile.

"It's probably best for you to rest for now. I have some matters to attend to but Keith will take you to his room." Lance nodded, pulling himself up. He groaned as he put pressure on his arm so Coran ushered him into silence, telling him not to work himself too hard. "Is it okay if he carries you?"

"Okay..." Keith wrapped one arm around Lance's back and the other beneath his knees to lift him bridal style. They headed back to the red paladin's room before Lance was laid down on the bed. Keith turned to leave but Lance whined and pulled him backwards. "P-Please stay with me..."

Keith nodded before climbing into bed beside Lance. He kept a few centimetres between them but balanced his hand on top of Lance's so he knew that he was there. Lance hummed in contentment, allowing his eyes to fall shut. Refusing to drop his defences, Keith remained awake, watching as Lance's chest rose and fell at a steady pace. It was almost sad that Lance was at his most peaceful when he was asleep.

It took about half a varga before Lance started to shift. He moved his left arm and latched onto Keith, pulling him closer as well as he could with one arm. The mechanical limb was sat still at his side. Keith let out a soft noise, unsure of whether he should attempt to escape the embrace. His comfort fought his rationality and comfort came out victorious.

When Lance's eyes fluttered open, it took him a second to ground himself. His left arm was touching something but he wasn't sure just what until he moved it away to see Keith. "K-Keith?" Lance murmured, just to make sure. A light moan let him know it was his friend and not an enemy.

"You're okay," Keith said, mirroring Shiro's words whenever he calmed Lance down. He had observed it enough so he was prepared to ground Lance himself. "You're at the Castle."

"I know, I-I'm okay." Lance pulled himself up into a sitting position before glancing around the room. One look at the red walls warned him he was in Keith's room and not his own. "I- Is it time for breakfast?"

"Probably. Do you want me to take you back to your room to get dressed?"

"My room is so far away though..."

"You want to go to the kitchen in a gown from the medbay? I mean-"

"Can I wear something of yours?"

Keith's mouth fell open and it took him a long moment to compose himself. "O-Okay." Lance hoisted himself up and started to pull open some of the draws in search of some clothes. "Top draw." Lance nodded, pulling open the top draw to find a series of black shirts. He chucked one at Keith before picking one out for himself. "Trousers are in the third draw down." Lance threw a pair of trousers at Keith and kept some for himself.

"I don't know how I feel about your underwear so I'll just keep mine on."

Once they were both dressed, Lance headed out of the room. Keith called after him, telling him he had something to deal with before getting food. Lance had rolled his eyes and backed up to find out what Keith was doing. His eyes laid upon Keith's hands wrapping around his Blade of Mamora knife.

All he could think about was Gort. How his knife had looked in his Galran hands. He pictured it rising into the air, just to plunge down into his skin whilst he screamed. He backed up, eyes wide and breaths heavy. "Lance?" Keith said once he heard the steps behind him. He turned around as he shoved the knife into his pocket. His eyes laid upon Lance who was clearly panicking. "Quiznack. Lance, you're okay. No one's going to hurt you." He rushed forward, unsure of what to do when Lance broke down into tears.

"P-Please don't hurt me... I- I can't- I'll tell you a-anything..." Lance gasped out. Keith shook his head, eyebrows furrowing in nothing but sheer trepidation.

"I- I'll get Shiro, okay? I'll be right back. You're safe." Keith rushed down the halls and wrapped his knuckles against Shiro's bedroom as harshly as possible. It flew open to reveal the tired black paladin. "Lance is having a panic attack. Please, you need to help him. I don't know what to do." That was all Shiro needed before he raced down the halls to Keith's room where Lance had curled up on the floor.

Shiro started to murmur to the blue paladin, avoiding any physical contact. It took a few dobashes but Lance eventually calmed down. Keith watched the pair and decided that he wasn't needed anymore.

-

"What happened earlier? What triggered him? Was it his arm?" Shiro interrogated whilst Lance was in the shower. Keith backed up into the wall, his bottom lip trembling.

"I did it. I- I triggered him." Upon noticing the tears glistening in Keith's eyes, Shiro pulled him into a long embrace. That was all Keith needed to break the dam and let the sobs out. His entire body was trembling whilst Shiro rubbed circles into his back.

"What did you do?"

"I told him to go to breakfast and said I'd catch up. I wanted to get my knife so I- I was ready to protect him if I ever needed to. He must have seen me pick it up... I'm so- so stupid..."

"You aren't stupid. You wanted to look after him and that's understandable. He won't blame you."

-

Shiro was wrong. Keith could tell Lance blamed him in the petrified look in his eyes. Lance was still wearing Keith's clothes (they looked really good on him) but the look on his face was full of terror. Shiro had sat with Lance on the bed, an arm wrapped around his shoulders. Pain in his chest, Keith looked away from the pair.

"I-I'm really sorry, Lance..." Keith murmured, not daring to walk any further into the room than the doorway. "I didn't mean to trigger you."

"It's okay." Lance assured him but they all knew it was far from okay.

"I- I just wanted to be able to protect you. That's why I picked it up. Not to hurt you."

"I know. I trust you, Keith."


	24. Zen

Lance was growing frustrated with his hopelessness inside the Castle. The Galra could attack at any moment and, as much as that thought panicked him, he wanted to be able to help. That was why he pulled himself to training exactly a movement after the incident with Keith's knife.

Everyone had eyed him closely as he walked in, an odd amount of confidence in his stride.

It was Shiro who spoke up first, having experienced PTSD and violence first hand. He had also witnessed how badly Lance had broken down at the sight of Keith's little knife. "Uh... Lance?" The blue paladin looked at him, innocence spreading across his features. The only sign that something traumatic had happened to him was the mechanical arm and the scars running across his body. "Do you think you're ready to train? Shouldn't you... work back into it gradually or something?" Lance's mouth fell open at the question before he huffed and raised his chin. His entire body was trembling but he could only hope it wasn't as obvious as he thought it was.

"I'm ready. I want to train. You let Keith do it when he doesn't feel well. Why am I different?" He retorted, folding his arms to reinforce what he had said.

"Because Keith wasn't kidnapped?" Pidge responded, deciding against avoiding the topic. Lance didn't respond, just reaching for a sword to show he was ready to fight. The blade was enough to trigger nausea in his stomach but he swallowed back the urge to vomit. _He could do this._ _They were his friends._

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Shiro's eyebrows were furrowed, a clear sign of his concern.

"Yeah. I- I haven't had a nightmare in at least a movement. I think I'm ready."

"If you're sure..."

"I am! I feel so much better than before." It wasn't exactly a lie. Lance felt a million times better than when he had first been rescued. He could actually touch his friends and his nightmares were becoming less frequent.

"Okay, you can fight... Any volunteers? Keith?" Keith shrugged before moving opposite Lance to get into his stance. As he passed Shiro, the black paladin leaned forward and whispered something about ' _going easy_ ' into his ear. Shiro then counted them in and they were off. Each other paladin watched Lance closely for any early signs of a panic attack.

Channelling his inner zen, Lance swung his sword but Keith defended, a loud _shing_ noise echoing around the room. The blue paladin flinched but tried to cover it up by thinning his eyes and observing his opponent. When Keith swung, Lance was ready to block the hit. Their swords smashed against each other, both of their arms trembling as they attempted to steady their weapons. Keith pushed against Lance as hard as he could until the boy was stumbling backwards into the wall.

Everyone saw the exact moment that things started to go wrong. Lance's sword slid from his hands and he let his head fall back to hit the wall whilst he sunk to the floor. His eyes scrunched shut and he began to hyperventilate. Keith threw his sword to the side, bending down to match his height. "Lance, it's okay. I'm sorry. I'm not going to hurt you."

Lance moved his hands up to cover his face and had rolled into a ball to make himself as small as possible. His sobs could be heard bouncing against the walls. "P-Please don't hurt me."

"Hey, listen to me; no one's going to hurt you. You're safe. No one can get you here." Keith turned his head and met eyes with Shiro who was nervously chewing on his lip. "Lance, you're okay." Shiro headed forward and bent down to meet Lance's height.

"Keith..?" Lance murmured, raising his head just enough to take a peek at the red paladin.

"Yeah, it's me. Mullet and all." Keith forced a shaky smile until Lance buried his head back into his knees.

"I- I thought- I-"

Both Keith and Shiro hushed him. "I think we should get you back to your room, okay? This is our fault for letting you train. We should have known it would be a bad idea." Shiro murmured, holding out his hand to help Lance up. Lance used his mechanical arm to link their hands and pulled himself onto his feet.

"I- It's my fault really. I thought I was ready..."

"We're going to end the training session here. I think we could all do with a break. Lance, I will take you to your room." Shiro announced. Pidge and Hunk nodded, eyes wide with concern for Lance whose panic attack still didn't show any signs of subsiding.

-

A knock on the door of the training room in the middle of the night was the last thing Keith expected. He had just beaten level 7 when the knock sounded. "End training sequence." He commanded, his words sounding more like a question than anything else. He headed to the door and opened it to find Lance. He was wearing his pyjamas but was hugging himself and shivering. "Lance? Are you okay?"

The blue paladin shook his head rapidly before pulling Keith into a hug. He buried his head into Keith's shoulder, sobs wracking his body as he held onto him for dear life.

"Woah, woah, what's wrong? Did something happen?" Keith asked as he guided Lance over to the benches so that they could sit down together.

"I couldn't sleep. E-Every time I close my eyes, I- I see _him_." Lance pulled his knees up onto the bench so that he could hug them. His head fell against Keith's shoulder as he stared straight ahead.

"Who do you see?"

"His name's Gort."

"The one who..." The words lingered in the air as Lance nodded his head. Keith tensed up but calmed both him and Lance down by drawing shapes on the blue paladin's bare arm. He tried to avoid looking at the massive 'G' carved into it. "He- he'd- he'd-"

"You don't have to talk about it."

"I can't. Not tonight. I bet I sound so pathetic. I wasn't even... k-kidnapped for that long."

"Being kidnapped itself is a traumatic experience. As is being... tortured."

The word made Lance tense up. "I'm sorry. Am I going to be the reason we can't beat the Galra?"

"No, no, you're not. We're going to beat them one day and you'll be there with us. You're going to get better and stop having these panic attacks, alright? I'll make sure of it."

"How will you do that?"

"I don't know, Lance..." Both went silent as they appreciated their contact with each other.

"Please come to me whenever you have a panic attack or get upset. I'll try my hardest to help. No matter what it takes."

"Okay. Thank you for this."

"You don't need to thank me, Lance. I just want you to be okay."

-

Shiro wasn't sure how to react when he entered the training room and saw the red and blue paladins leaning on each other, fast asleep. He walked over to them, tapping Keith on the shoulder until his eyes flickered open and he glanced around the training room, confused. As Keith attempted to sit up, Lance woke up too. "My neck..." He murmured, cracking his neck. Lance looked around the room in a state of panic before he recognised it to be the Castle.

"When did you two go to sleep last night?" Shiro asked in his dad voice.

"I don't know. Not too late." Keith lied, opening his eyes wide enough for it to slightly resemble ' _puppy dog eyes_ ' in order to decrease the likelihood of Shiro scolding them.

"It's my fault. I couldn't sleep so I came here and Keith comforted me." Lance admitted, biting his lip. Shiro pursed his lips, trying his hardest not to interrogate them both with his hard stare.

"Okay. Lance, get to breakfast. I want to talk to Keith in private." Lance nodded, sending Keith a sympathetic look before heading out into the corridor. Shiro brought Keith into an unexpected hug, mumbling, "I'm glad Lance feels like he can confide in you. He's been through a lot so having someone to talk to is very important. I'm proud of you."

"Thanks, Shiro. I just... I care about him a lot."

"I know you do, Keith. One day he'll figure out just how much you love him."

"That isn't important. What's important is that Lance gets better."


	25. Sleepovers

It became a routine for Lance to meet up with Keith in the training room in the middle of the night. He struggled to sleep on his own as his mind was plagued with nightmares of both Allura and Gort. When he was with Keith, it wasn't as bad and, even if it was, Keith was brilliant at calming Lance down during a panic attack. It took about three quintants before they finally moved to Keith's bed.

Lance had been the one to suggest it, mainly as a joke. They had sat down on the bench together, leaning against each other and Lance had mumbled, "You know, maybe we could sleep in your bed sometime. I'm getting tired of waking up with a stiff neck."

Then Keith had responded with, "We could. If you were comfortable with it."

"Really? I was only joking but... I'd be up for that."

"Cool... Let's go to my room then." Keith stood up before holding out his hand to pull Lance up. They didn't part until they were in Keith's room, standing in front of his bed. "Uh... how are we going to do this?"

"You're overthinking it honestly. Have you never slept in the same bed as someone before?"

Keith leaned his head forward as if to say ' _obviously not_ '. "No sleepovers as a kid?"

"You know how deprived my childhood was, man."

"Okay... just... get into the bed and I'll lay in your arms. If you're okay with cuddling, that is."

"Sure, whatever." Keith climbed into the bed before opening up his arms for Lance to crawl into. Once they were settled, Keith buried his head into Lance's hair and breathed in his scent. "Don't be afraid to wake me up if you have a nightmare, alright? I don't want to freak you out by sleeping with you." Lance hummed a soft response, burying his head into Keith's chest. "Night, Lance."

"Night."

-

"Woah, please tell me you're wearing clothes!" Pidge screeched as she entered Keith's bedroom, shielding their poor, innocent eyes with their hands.

"Pidge, don't walk in like that. You're going to give me a heart attack one day, man." Keith grumbled, voice muffled by Lance's hair.

"Are you wearing clothes or not?"

"We are wearing clothes. Chill out." Pidge uncovered their eyes to see Keith pull himself out of the bed and stretch. Lance moaned in his sleep and rolled over. "Why are you here anyway?"

"You were late to breakfast and I drew the short straw."

"Cool, should we wake Lance up?" They both glanced at Lance who was sleeping peacefully. His mouth was agape as tiny snores escaped.

"Probably."

Keith rubbed Lance's arm and leaned forward whilst whispering his name. It took a couple of dobashes before Lance's eyes flickered open. As always, he appeared disorientated before Keith assured him that everything was okay.

-

Lance sat on the bench whilst he observed the others training. At first, watching the sparring was enough to trigger him but he was soon able to watch it. Every time someone was thrown to the ground or knocked against the wall, he would wince but it no longer caused panic attacks. He would observe the other paladins as they fought, giving them advice once they had finished. He told Keith to be more patient, following Shiro's signature, ' _patience yields focus_ '. Hunk needed to have more confidence in his movements and Pidge needed to be quicker at reacting. Shiro was damn near perfect but found himself getting too emotionally invested, being unable to place all his strength into harming a fellow paladin.

As he watched, Lance was desperate to join in. He missed being amongst the others, showing off his moves and fighting them. He was tempted to reach for his own bayard and begin a battle with them but he knew he wasn't quite ready.

"Lance, you okay?" Lance broke out of thoughts to find the owner of the voice, Keith, staring directly at him.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm okay. Just thinking." He murmured, watching as Keith nodded before turning back to talk to Shiro.

Lance wished he could have stood up there with them, as opposed to being stuck on the sidelines. Picking up a sword and throwing himself into a battle sounded like the simplest thing but it brought suppressed memories back to the surface. Being thrown against the wall reminded him of Gort, shoving him against the ship walls and laughing as he crumpled to the ground. His and his paladin's grunts reminded him of the sounds he had made when Gort had beat him, leaving bruises and scars littered across his once unflawed body. Hitting someone else made him feel like he was just as bad as Gort which wasn't the case but it sure felt like it.

"Lance, you need to breathe," Keith's voice sounded distant. He was so close yet so very far away at the same time. Hyperventilating, Lance reached out to brush his hands up against Keith's arm, just so he knew it was Keith standing there. "Come on, breathe with me." Lance squeezed his eyes shut and listened to Keith's steady breathing. He tried to recreate it as much as he could until his breathing was regular once again.

"Keith?" Lance choked out.

"I'm here. You're okay. You're on the Castle with us and you're safe. No one is going to hurt you here." Keith took a seat on the bench beside the blue paladin, draping an arm over his slim shoulders. "Do you want to go lay down? You don't have to stay here for the rest of training?" Lance nodded slowly.

-

When the alarms blared around the Castle, it was instinct to race down to the hangers. Keith was about halfway there when he met a very flustered Pidge, batting their arms around and explaining about how they tripped a wire and somehow set off the alarms. They informed Keith to find and tell the others before they reached the hangers. He nodded, running in the opposite direction to Pidge. He quickly found Hunk, taking him back to the control room where Pidge explained the situation and apologised to everyone.

Once they finished, they glanced around the room and finally questioned Lance's whereabouts. Keith followed their gaze and, sure enough, the blue paladin was yet to make an appearance.

"I'll check the hanger."

"I'll go check his room." Keith suggested before racing down the corridors to Lance's bedroom. He didn't bother knocking, instead slamming his hand down on the button and sliding into the room as soon as the doors were open enough. "Lance... Lance..." He whispered, bending down in front of Lance who had curled up into a ball on the floor. "You're okay. Pidge tripped a wire or something so... false alarm. You're safe here and everything's okay."

"He- He's going to take me again." Lance muttered, rocking back and forth.

"No, no, I won't let him take you, okay? I'll do everything I can to ensure he never gets to you again. You're safe with me. Can I- Is it okay if I touch you?"

"No, no, no!" Lance yelled, sobs escaping in between each word.

"Okay, okay, I'll keep my distance. What can I do to help you feel better, Lance?"

"Nothing. Please... leave me alone."

"You don't really want that, do you?"

Lance let out a loud wail, body trembling as he did so. "I'm not safe here."

"Yes, you are. We're going to protect you because we love you, okay? We won't let you get hurt."

"Do- Do you promise?"

"Yes, Lance, I promise."

"Can you hold me?" Lance looked up just enough for Keith to see his desperate, tear-filled eyes. Keith didn't even need to think about it before he shuffled closer to the blue paladin and wrapped an arm around him. Keith rubbed his arm in the most soothing way possible until his cries had subsided.

"Did you find him?" Lance tensed up at the unknown voice before Hunk poked his head around the door. He smiled at the sight of the pair cuddling.

"I think it's best if we stay here for a bit. Is that okay?"

"Of course. I'll tell Shiro. Hope you feel better soon, buddy." Lance didn't say anything but his eye contact with Hunk was full of gratitude.

-

"I'm so fucking weak, Keith." Lance groaned, a scowl covering his face. He stared directly ahead with furrowed eyebrows. "I should be over this by now. What they did wasn't even that bad! I'm a paladin of Voltron and that should mean I'm stronger than this!"

"Hey, hey, you aren't weak. It was traumatic; I get it." Keith murmured, rubbing Lance's arm in an attempt to soothe him.

"I hate myself for being so affected by this... I want to be able to protect you and my family and- and-" Lance suddenly burst into tears, shoulders hunching over as he tried to make himself as small as possible. Keith frowned before wrapping an arm around him and pulling him closer.

"You can protect us, okay? It's just going to take time."

"We don't have time! The Galra could attack at any moment and- and I won't be able to do anything but cry!"

Keith hushed him. "That's understandable."

"Keith, I- I-" Lance stuttered, turning his head to the side to make eye contact with Keith. Time seemed to freeze as their eyes met, staring deep into each other's souls. Whilst Keith stayed still, Lance leaned forward and pressed his lips against Keith's. Once the shock settled in and Keith realised what was happening, Keith pushed Lance away.

"What are you doing?"

"I- I'm sorry. I didn't think... A- Am I not good enough?" Lance's eyes glanced up to look at Keith again, wide and full of despair.

Keith's face softened, trying his hardest not to make Lance feel worse. "You are but you're upset, Lance. If you want to..." Keith gestured with his hands, unsure of how to put it into words. "You need to do it with a clear head. I don't want to take advantage of you."

Lance's breath hitched but he didn't argue. Deep down, he respected and appreciated Keith's decision.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, after 25 chapters, they finally kiss.


	26. Mullet-Head

Once Keith was sure everyone was tucked into bed, he darted out of his room towards the training area. He didn't expect to bump into anyone so almost had a heart attack when he saw Lance standing in the middle of the room. He was holding his gun and shooting at the little bots, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Keith lingered in the doorway, not wanting to break his flow.

Lance's jaw was tense as he ducked beneath a series of shots from the bots before raising his shield. He grunted, stumbling back as the shield was pelted with bullets. "Come on..." He murmured to himself, raising his gun and demolishing three of the bots in the air. Once Lance had called to stop the sequence, Keith made himself known.

"Well done, Lance. You were really good." He said, walking further into the room. Lance turned to look at him with wide, shocked eyes.

"I- I don't think I'm at the same level yet. I need to- to work harder." Lance mumbled, placing his bayard into a pouch around his waist.

"No one is expecting you to be at the same level, Lance. You're making progress and that's what's important." Keith kept his voice soft as he placed a hand on Lance's shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. His body was tense; as if he had been frozen with a beam of ice. "Last movement you couldn't even hold a gun."

Lance glanced down at his bayard, shaking his head to himself. "It's not good enough."

"Yes, it is good enough. You're getting better slowly. The next step is sparring with us and then, over time, maybe you'll become comfortable with fighting again."

"Do- Do you think-"

Keith nodded, pulling the blue paladin in for a hug. "I know, okay? If you want, we could practice sparring together before you try it with the others. I'll go slow and stop as soon as I think something's wrong."

"You'd do that for me?"

"Of course I would."

"...Now?"

"It's probably best we wait until tomorrow. You look tired." Lance did look tired. He was hunched over and blackness rimmed both eyes in the form of nasty bags. His face was pale and his forehead was drenched with sweat from all of the training. "Maybe you should shower whilst I practice and then we can go to bed."

Lance nodded slowly, "Sounds like a plan."

-

Keith stood about a metre and a half away from Lance, weaponless. Lance was in the same position, hands clenched into fists as he waited for a signal to begin. "You sure you can do this?" Keith asked, voice soft so that Lance knew he was allowed to back out if he needed to.

Determined, Lance nodded his head. Keith counted them in before racing forward and pressing Lance into the wall. The blue paladin's breath hitched but, other than that, he seemed calm. He grabbed Keith's arm with his right hand, twisting it behind his back and shoving him backwards.

"Good work. Maybe you can beat me this time, Sharpshooter." Keith was taking a shot in the dark with the quip. He wasn't sure if Lance would take it well or even play with it, throwing something equally as smart back.

"Just you wait, mullet-head. Stop going easy on me, I can take it." The nickname, even with its negative connotations, made Keith's lips form a wide smile. It was almost like the old Lance had returned for a brief moment. (Almost.)

Keith's eyebrows climbed his forehead. "Okay, let's see what you've got." Keith threw a punch towards Lance's shoulder but the boy was quick to duck out of the way. A grin spread across his face as he realised how skilful he had been. "That was good!"

"Stop complimenting me and actually try to hit me, mullet."

Keith smiled fondly before darting to the left to catch Lance off guard. The blue paladin twisted his head around but wasn't quick enough to stop Keith from knocking him to the ground. Realising just how hard he had tackled Lance, Keith's confidence faltered. Lance took a long moment to compose himself and fight away the panic trying to eat at him but soon rolled over so that he was on top. He took a deep breath to steady himself and his emotions, eyes examining their position for a plan of attack. He pressed his hands into Keith's wrists, pinning him down so that he couldn't get up.

"Ding ding!" Lance announced, raising his hands in the air as a victorious smile spread across his face. His voice was shaky with panic but Keith didn't want to call him out on it. If Lance was coping himself, there wasn't a reason for him to focus on it and potentially make it even worse. He didn't want to ruin the progress Lance was making by being overly worried. "I beat you, mullet!"

"Yeah, you did..." Keith didn't even feel offended or defensive: he was immensely proud.

"Next time, try harder, okay? Don't be afraid to hurt me."

"Okay."

-

Lance grunted as Keith slammed him down against the floor, eyes scrunching shut in pain. "That's more like it." Lance seethed, struggling beneath Keith's grip. He growled as he flipped them over so that he was on top. His leg was in between Keith's and their faces were just centimetres apart. "Don't let me win this time."

"I didn't let you win last time." Keith muttered, trying his hardest to shove Lance off of him. He failed.

"You so did." Lance was breathing heavily, droplets of sweat making their way down his face. Keith's mind fell down the gutter whilst he tried to desperately get it out. (He couldn't help but wonder what Lance looked like when he was on top of him in another situation.) "And I think I'm victorious yet again!"

He slammed a fist into the air, jumping off of Keith without a second thought. The red paladin's face was the colour of a tomato as he scrambled onto his feet.

"Are you okay? You seem distracted?"

"Yep, yep, I'm fine." Keith turned away so that he didn't have to make eye contact with Lance in his flustered state.

"I- I didn't hurt you, did I?" Keith didn't respond because, despite everything, it was still heartbreaking to watch Lance's mood do a 180 within ticks. One moment he was on top of the world and, the next, he was crumpled up on the floor again. "I- I'm just as bad as _him_." Lance's voice trembled as his confidence faltered completely. His body was quivering and even Keith could see that. His eyes were glistening over with tears as Keith shook his head.

Realising he was still yet to respond, Keith swallowed and attempted to formulate the words he needed to say. "No, no, no, I'm not hurt. I'm happy that you won, alright? Your fighting style is improving and your confidence is really good. You didn't hurt me, Lance."

"A-Are you sure?"

"I'm 100% certain, alright. Let's go shower."

"O-Okay."

-

They trained for countless nights until Keith didn't feel like he had to 'go easy' on Lance anymore. The one night Keith had won, he admitted that he hadn't been putting as much effort into the fighting as he could have. Lance had whined and told him to fight him a second time, using all of his strength that time. He did and came out victorious but Lance was too happy to be angry at him for holding back. When they had curled up in bed that night, Lance had cried into Keith's shoulder, telling him about how much more confident he felt. Keith had stroked his hair and told him about how proud he was.

The next quintant, they both went to training. When Lance didn't go straight to the bench, Shiro looked at him with thin, concerned eyes. "I'm going to fight today." He announced, moving to the centre of the room to take on an opponent. "Anyone but Keith. No offence, dude."

Keith grinned, throwing him a thumbs up. "None taken."

"Hunk?" Shiro offered, making the yellow paladin shrug and nod.

"Don't go easy on me."

"Are you sure? I don't-" Hunk started but Lance cut him off with a shake of his head.

"Don't. I can handle it."

Lance won the fight by a mile, doing an embarrassing victory dance whilst Hunk pulled himself back up onto his feet. Keith pulled him into an embrace, despite how sweaty he was. The other paladins were staring at the pair with dropped jaws and wide eyes. Lance pulled back from the embrace and flashed a grin. "I've been practicing. You proud of me?"

"Hell yeah!" Hunk exclaimed, taking his turn to pull Lance into a hug. "You've done so well!"

"Thank you!"

As Pidge and Shiro moved to the mat to spar, just as Keith lightly hit Lance on the back. "Well done." Lance didn't say anything but his smile was enough.

-

Keith grabbed Lance's shirt and pressed him into the wall, both of them breathing heavily.

Lance let out a loud laugh, "I thought you were going to aggressively make out with me then." Keith's entire face flushed red as his grip on Lance's shoulder faltered. "I can totally see you being the kind of person who enjoys angry sex."

"Lance, shut up. We're trying to fight." Keith replied, gritting his teeth together and turning away.

"What? Is it turning you on?"

"Don't flatter yourself!" They lapsed into silence as Lance leaned forward. Keith remained as still as a statue whilst their lips came in contact with each other. Keith didn't pull away that time. He melted into the kiss, pushing Lance back into the wall as the seconds passed. Once they pulled back, Keith's entire face represented the colour of his suit. Lance's did too.

"You're not taking advantage of me," Lance said, as if reading Keith's mind. "I want to kiss you. That's why I did it."

"Are you sure?"

Lance nodded.

"Then... can you do it again?"

A smile broke out across Lance's face as he pressed his lips back into Keith's, pulling him close once again.


	27. Sleeping Together

"You're not having sex, are you?" Pidge yelled, knocking their hand against Keith's door.

"We've never had sex." Lance admitted, rolling his eyes. Pidge opened the door and raised an eyebrow, as if they were attempting to say ' _are you serious?_ ' "We literally kissed for the first time yesterday."

Keith punched Lance's arm, his face flushing red all over again. Pidge let out a snort. "I owe Hunk a week of chores now. Thanks guys. I had faith in your hormones."

Both Keith and Lance laughed, climbing out of bed and stretching. Lance let out a long yawn and rubbed his fists against his tired eyes. "Maybe you shouldn't bet on our love life." Keith mumbled with a disapproving shake of his head.

"That was a funny joke there, Keith. When did you become a comedian? Anyway, Shiro wants to talk to us."

-

"Why is your room like a sauna?" Lance groaned, cheeks flushed from the heat. Keith was still wearing his signature red jacket and didn't seem bothered by the temperature of the room.

"Take off your shirt or stop complaining!" Keith laughed, meaning it as a joke. He certainly did not expect Lance to whip his shirt off and throw it on the floor. "Woah, okay." His hands had a mind of their own as they snaked around Lance's thin chest to pull him onto his lap.

"Just... don't look at my right shoulder, okay?" Lance murmured, burying his head into Keith's neck. The moment wasn't sexual at all, just romantic and loving. Lance could breathe in Keith's musky smell and it made him feel at ease.

"Is it because of... your scar?"

"Yeah... I don't want you to see it."

"Hey, you shouldn't feel so insecure about it. You went through a lot and it's a battle scar."

Lance snorted, the noise vibrating Keith's neck. "You sound like some teenage girl's tumblr romanticising self harm."

"I'm not romanticising anything, Lance. I'm just saying that it isn't something you should be ashamed of. It's there and you can't do anything about it. You might as well show off how far you've come since the moment you got it."

"If you look at it, promise you won't get upset?" Keith nodded, holding up a pinky that Lance soon intertwined with his own. After, the blue paladin turned to show his right shoulder to Keith. Only the top was made of human flesh but it had been tainted with the 'G' that Gort had carved into it. The scar had faded since Lance had first returned onto the ship but it was still rather prominent.

"Can I touch it?"

"Y-Yeah..." Keith traced the top of his finger against the lettering, feeling the bumpiness of it. The sight was heart-wrenching and it spread a hatred and an urge for vengeance through Keith. Lance was so beautiful and he most certainly didn't deserve such scarring.

"You're beautiful, Lance..."

"I-I'm not. I'm ugly. I'm covered in... in scars."

"They don't make you look any less beautiful. Have I ever told you how much I love your eyes?" Keith glanced up so that he could look into Lance's blue eyes and take it the emotions hidden behind them. They were glistening in the light. "They're my favourite feature of yours. Blue always has been my favourite colour..." Before Keith could say anything else, they were interrupted by a fellow paladin.

"Put some clothes on!" Hunk screeched as he walked into Keith's bedroom to find them practically sat on top of each other, Lance's shirt discarded somewhere on the floor. "My innocent eyes! I need to wash them out with soap!"

"Why are you and Pidge obsessed with the idea of us having sex?" Lance asked, turning his head so that Hunk could see how unamused he was.

"Because you're hormonal teenagers trapped in space. Of course you're going to have to relieve yourselves with-"

"Hunk, do not continue! You are meant to be pure!"

"I stopped being pure when I walked into this!"

Lance snorted, leaning backwards and grabbing his shirt off of the floor. "There is an explanation for this that isn't sexual. I got really hot so I took off my shirt and Keith's lap is just very comfortable."

"Sure, sure... Just... come here, I need you guys to try something I made."

"Ah, yeah! Food!" Lance leaped off of the bed whilst Keith rolled his eyes, slowly following him. Lance had improved a substantial amount after everything and to say Keith was proud was an understatement. Each time Lance made a joke or showed his mounds of energy, Keith couldn't help the proud, ecstatic flutter his heart did.

-

"Can I ask you a question?" Lance asked, having to yell over the sound of the shower. He had his head pressed up against the door so that he could hear Keith's response.

"Can it wait until after my shower? I'll be like five-" Keith responded but Lance cut him off with a long groan.

"No! I was thinking about it now and it's going to eat me alive until I find out the answer."

"You're so dramatic... give me two seconds." Lance slumped against the wall until Keith emerged from the steam-filled room with a towel around his waist. "What is it, Lance? What's so important that you felt the need to interrupt my shower?"

"Are we together?" Lance blurted out, fiddling with the bottom of his jacket and avoiding Keith's gaze. The red paladin's mouth fell open, expecting everything _except_ that.

"Uh... do you want to be?"

"Yes! I do!"

"Okay... then we're together."

Lance tried to hide the grin spreading across his face but Keith just slammed the shower door in his face. For a moment, Lance was offended. Then Keith yelled out, "Don't interrupt my shower next time!"

-

When Keith came to breakfast, Lance's large jacket draped over his shoulder, Pidge and Hunk immediately began whispering. Coran looked extremely concerned and Shiro just rolled his eyes in an unamused way. Everyone but the green and yellow paladins began to dig into the food, favouring the taste. Then Pidge blurt out, "Did you guys sleep together?"

"Yeah... We've been sleeping together for ages..." Keith answered with thin eyes, seeing the answer as blatantly obvious.

Pidge rolled their eyes. "No, I mean, did you have sex?"

"You bet on us again?!" Lance snapped, dropping his Altean cutlery against his plate. One of the pieces of cutlery was a knife. The others were still immensely proud of him being able to use the utensil again after everything that had happened.

"They forced this on me!" Hunk screeched, ignoring the pout he received from Pidge.

"No, we didn't have sex and we won't for a while."

"You guys suck." Pidge pouted, taking a bite out of their food. "I keep losing these bets..."


	28. Wake Up

"Lance, I see you're finally awake." Lance could recognise that voice from anywhere: Gort. His entire body went rigid as he forced his head upwards to look into Gort's oh-so-familiar eyes. "You've been out for quintants... I see Haggar's spell did its job."

"W-What do you mean?" Lance choked out, trying his hardest to struggle but failing. His wrists and ankles were restrained with chains that were rubbing them raw. Tears collected in his eyes as he realised he was rendered completely helpless.

"You thought you had been rescued, did you? That's adorable, sweetheart." Lance flinched away as Gort rubbed the tip of his thumb over Lance's soft cheek. "It was all a dream. You're actually stuck here with me for eternity. The other paladins don't care about you anymore and you were replaced. You weren't anything but a burden when you were with them anyway. They were happy to watch you go."

Letting out a heavy sob, Lance began to thrash about as well as he could when being restrained. "N-No-" He stammered out, voice full of anxiety. He wanted to at least _pretend_ to be confident but that was impossible in such a situation. "They wouldn't replace me. They love me. I know they do."

"The fact that you're still hopeful is precious. You're never going to escape." Gort reached for his knife, his purple hands wrapping the handle in a very familiar way. Lance let out the loudest scream possible, struggling against the restraints in a pathetic attempt to get away as the knife was pressed into his left arm.

-

When Lance started to thrash around in bed, Keith didn't know how to react. Lance had shoved him off of the bed, blind with panic. The red paladin groaned as his body hit the floor. Lance was whining in his sleep, tears trailing down his cheeks as he struggled away from invisible restraints. "Lance," Keith whispered in a shaky voice. He had no idea how to deal with a nightmare. Ever since they had started to sleep together, Lance's bad dreams had subsided. "Lance, come on, you need to wake up."

Keith pulled himself up onto his feet, examining Lance as closely as he could. He tentatively poked Lance's arm once he realised he words weren't getting him anywhere. Lance jolted up, thrusting out a fist in Keith's general direction. it clocked him in the nose and was harsh enough to draw blood. Lance was looking at him but, at the same time, he wasn't. The expression he wore was blank. That was when it dawned on Keith: Lance didn't recognise him. The blood on Keith's face was enough for him to be seen as an enemy.

Keith backed up as Lance curled in on himself so he was as small as possible. Then, Keith raced out of the room and called for Shiro. Within a single dobosh, the black paladin came racing out of his room, wearing only his pyjamas and a pair of black lion slippers. "It's Lance," Keith cried, moving one hand upwards to cover his bleeding nose. He didn't want to leave a trail of blood from his room to Shiro's for all the other occupants of the ship to see. "He had a nightmare and I woke him up. I don't think he recognised me..."

"It's okay. We need to ground him." Shiro murmured as he opened the door to Keith's bedroom. Lance was in the exact same position that Keith had left him in and his sobs were ringing through the air. Shiro shuffled over to the blue paladin whilst Keith lingered in the doorway, watching with wide, tear-filled eyes. After multiple dobashes of Shiro's calm words, Lance seemed to be more aware of his surroundings but he didn't make any effort to move closer to Shiro's touch.

"S-S-S-" Lance tried but stumbled on the consonant, looking very frustrated with himself as he did so. He still wasn't breathing at a regular pace so Shiro prompted him with the breathing exercises.

"How are you feeling, Lance? You don't need to speak. Just nod your head if you're feeling better." Shiro said and Lance nodded his head but tears still lingered.

"I- I thought I was- was better..." Lance cried, his words sounding so hopeless and lost compared to his old, energetic self. "I- I haven't had a nightmare since-"

"Lance, nightmares won't just go away. You're probably going to have them for a long time." Shiro turned and took a seat on the bed. He tried to keep a few centimetres between them but that failed as soon as Lance pressed his head into Shiro's shoulder. "I still have them about Kerberos every once in a while and I- I still get panic attacks."

"B-But it's been so long since..."

"Kerberos? Yeah, I know. PTSD just isn't something you can cure easily. I'm sorry that you've had to experience it too because it's... well... horrifying really."

"Am I never going to get better?" Shiro lifted his hand to wipe away the tears on Lance's cheek, his thumb brushing over the soft skin. Lance instantaneously jolted backwards with a yelp, almost falling off of the bed in the process. "P-Please-" Lance's breathing was back to its erratic, irregular state. "I- I-"

"Lance, Lance... Everything's okay. I'm sorry for touching you. I didn't mean to trigger you. I want you to be happy and safe, okay? You're in the Castle of Lions and everyone here wants to protect you not hurt you." Lance hunched over as sobs wracked his body once again.

"I-It's okay. I'm... I'm calm." Lance said after a few moments, despite the fact that his hands were still shaking. "G-Gort used to do that."

"Oh... I'm really sorry, Lance." Lance shook his head because it wasn't Shiro's fault he got captured. It was his own for trying to run away. "Did he ever..."

"What?"

Shiro shook his head, assuming it was a negative if Lance hadn't picked up on his insinuation right away.

"Where did Keith go?" Shiro turned his head around as Lance spoke to find that the red paladin was no longer in the doorway.


	29. Needing Space

Keith smashed his fist into the training bot with as much fury as he could. With how much he transferred his feelings into innocent objects, he would have made the perfect case study for Sigmund Freud and his defence mechanisms. It was his only way of getting the anger out of his system, even if it hardly worked. When Keith’s name was called, he swivelled around on the heel of his foot to see Shiro standing in the doorway with eyebrows furrowed in worry.

“Shiro, if you don’t mind, I’d like to be alone right now.” Keith very well snapped, a surprising amount of venom in his tone. Shiro cancelled the training sequence, knowing that Keith wouldn’t have done so himself, and headed towards the red paladin. Keith’s face was a bright red that matched his paladin armour and his breathing was almost as heavy as Lance’s had been.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, of course I am. I just thought it was a good time to train.”

“When Lance is in the middle of a panic attack?”

“You were dealing with it! You’re better at calming him down then me. I just make it all worse.” Keith murmured the last time with the hope that Shiro didn’t catch it. He did.

“You don’t make it worse. Did you trigger him?”

“No, he had a night-”

“How did you make it worse then?”

“He hit me, Shiro!” Sure enough, there were still remnants of dried up blood on Keith’s nose. Despite that, he was hardly phased by the pain, instead too focused on the anger running through his veins.

“That isn’t your fault-”

“I got too close to him and he hit me! It is my fault. I should have known to give him space.” Eyes beginning to well up with tears, Keith turned to look at Shiro. Shiro frowned but pulled him into an embrace. “I can’t be there for him. I can’t comfort people. He deserves someone stronger and better with the whole empathy thing.”

“Hey, hey, we both know you’re empathetic. You just struggle with knowing how to respond to the panic attacks. I can help you with that.”

“B-But you should just be there for him. He doesn’t need me.”

“He needs all of us right now, Keith, and I know he loves you with all of his heart. He wants you to be there for him. He didn’t mean to hit you but you know how easily it is to disassociate after nightmares or flashbacks, don’t you?” Keith nodded, pulling at his sleeve and using it to wipe away some of his tears. “I’ll teach you how to deal with the attacks. There are some breathing strategies that really help ground someone and it’s really important for you to say who you are and where they are. It helps them understand the surroundings more.”

“And no touching?”

“None unless you get consent. Touching can often make things worse as it gives them the idea that they’re back in the place in which they experienced the traumatic event.”

Keith nodded his head to show that he understood. “D-Do you think Lance blames me? For all of this happening? For not being there for him back when he was suffering with Allura?”

“Definitely not. You were there for him back then as much as you could be. I think you need to talk to him about how you feel. You have feelings too and it is important for you to communicate about them.”

-

“Hey, uh, Lance?” Keith poked his head into his room to find Lance curled up on his bed, staring a hole into the ceiling. He had his eyes wide open and lips pursed as he hummed the tune of a song Keith hadn’t heard before. Keith perched on the edge of the bed so he wasn’t close enough to panic Lance but was close enough to make the moment feel more intimate. “We need to talk.” At those words, Lance jolted up and began chewing on his bottom lip. His hands were trembling in his lap so Keith tentatively reached out and laced his fingers through Lance’s. “Do you blame me for everything?”

“Sorry?” Lance spat out, sounding immensely surprised.

“All this started with my feelings for you. Then- Then Allura. Then you ran away because I couldn’t be there for you like you needed. Do you blame me?”

Swallowing thickly, Lance studied Keith’s features for any sign that what he was saying was a joke. Keith’s eyebrows were furrowed, his face was pale and his eyes were glistening; apparently that meant he was being genuine. “Of course not. I was the one who started dating Allura and then I was the one who chose to run away. It’s my fault, if we have to place the blame on someone.”

“It is not your fault. You were going through a hard time; I should have helped you more.”

“Keith, don’t you dare blame yourself.” Lance’s voice held more authority than Keith had seen from the boy since he had been captured by the Galra. It was enlightening: it showed Keith just how far Lance had come. “It is not your fault. You couldn’t have done anything to stop me.”

Sad eyes glanced down at Keith’s lap as he picked at a loose thread in his trousers. “Then it isn’t your fault either. You were upset and it wasn’t your fault the Galra found you before we did.”

“Okay.”

“Say it wasn’t your fault.”

“It wasn’t my fault.” Lance’s voice was quivering violently so Keith asked him to repeat it with more assertion. “It wasn’t my fault. There. Now you say it.”

“It wasn’t my fault.” Both Lance and Keith exchanged a satisfied grin before Lance pulled Keith into a warm embrace.

-

“You’re so amazing, Lance,” Keith murmured, edging his head forward to get a look at Lance’s face. He drunk in each of Lance’s freckles, the scar covering his cheek and his oceanic blue eyes. “I’m so proud of how far you have come.”

“Me too...” Lance whispered, smiling ever so softly. Smiles looked so natural on him but they had become a rare occurrence. “I’ll be back to fighting the Galra in no time.”

“You will,” Keith rubbed his thumb across Lance’s soft cheek but froze once Lance tensed up. “Are you... okay?”

Lance didn’t say anything but pushed Keith backwards. “I need space...” He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to remember the breathing exercises Shiro had recommended to him to help the PTSD. Terror had spread right through him from the tip of his toes to the top of his hair. “Please don’t do that to my c-cheek.” His voice was quivering violently but he had descended into one of his incoherent panic attacks yet.

“O-Okay. I understand. You tell me whenever you’re uncomfortable, alright?”

Lance nodded, reaching out and placing his hand on Keith’s. It was all the contact he could deal with in that moment.

“You’re going to be okay, Lance. I promise you.” Keith knew, deep down, he was okay too. Shiro’s words ran through his head, reminding him that it wasn’t entirely his fault that Lance got triggered. He had introduced the triggering stimuli but there was no way that he would have known.

“I know,” Lance took a long, deep breath. “I can do this.”


	30. Vengeance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The big finale... but will everyone make it out alive?

"We're getting an incoming signal. That's... peculiar." Coran murmured, pressing some buttons until a video was projected. Lance stiffened up from where he was hiding behind Keith as he noticed Allura was on the screen. She was grinning widely as if she was proud of all of the destruction she had caused. Keith wrapped a protective arm around Lance, even though Allura couldn't get to him through a message.

"Hello, paladins. Remember me?" Allura's voice was cocky and full of pep. Coran shook his head in disappointment: he had hoped Allura would have mended her ways after she had been abandoned.

"Oh, cut to the chase. We don't need this right now, Allura. If you didn't know, we're currently in the middle of a battle to defend the universe." Shiro retorted, hands on his hips to add to his perceived level of authority. Allura threw her head back and barked out a laugh.

"I'm part of it, you rag." Lance started trembling at the familiar nickname. "I'm working with the Galra now and I'm here to tell you that we want the blue paladin back."

"You aren't going to take him again!" Keith yelled, voice much louder than he had anticipated.

"Well, we can do this the easy way or the hard way, Keith. We can take him with your consent and no one gets hurt or... we can take him by force and we will make sure to damage your team as much as possible."

Keith let out an inhumane growl, stepping away from Lance to get closer to the screen. Raising a clenched fist, he snapped out, "We'll do it the hard way and, do you know why? Because we are loyal. We will protect each other, no matter what shit you put us through. We love each other unlike you who I'm sure has never experienced love. It almost makes me pity you, Allura."

"Okay, Keith. The Galra empire is larger than your tiny, pathetic team. We'll demolish you with ease."

To everyone's surprise, Coran stepped forward, nervously twiddling his moustache. "Allura, tell me something. Why are you working with the ones who destroyed our home planet? Our Altea? Don't you remember how beautiful it was? How proud the king was of it all?"

"Because Altea was corrupted. Peace never gets you anywhere. If you want something, you have to fight for it. My father was useless at that. This is all his fault." With that, Allura slammed her hand down on a button and ended the broadcast. Lance collapsed onto his knees, hugging them close to his chest as he sobbed softly.

"What has she done?" Coran whispered before turning away so the paladins couldn't see his tears. He stormed out of the room, only letting himself cry once he was safely locked inside his room.

"They're going to take me again..." Lance whispered into his knees, voice fragile.

"No, no, they're not." Keith bent down to hit height but kept his distance, like Shiro had told him to. "No one is ever going to take you again. I'm going to protect you, I promise."

"I- I don't want to go back."

"You won't have to, okay?" Lance just nodded. "Is it okay if I touch you?" When Lance gave his consent, Keith wrapped an arm around Lance's frail body, pulling him close to let him know he was safe.

"It just doesn't make sense," Shiro said, thinking aloud. "Why do they want Lance specifically?" Hunk and Pidge exchanged similar looks full of confusion, unable to answer the question.

Keith shook his head before snapping, "Because they think he's weak and easy to break. They've broken him before and they think it would be easy to do again but it won't be easy. We will protect Lance as much as we can because we love him." Lance hummed in response, unable to form a coherent verbal answer. "Lance isn't weak. He can fight. He's ready to take on the Galra again and I know it."

"I- I'm not. I'm still weak."

"No, Lance, you aren't. You're stronger than you think. You've come so far from where you were after you were captured. I'm proud of you and I know the others are too." Lance glanced up from his knees to look at the other paladins surrounding him. Shiro had a stern expression, the emotion clouding his eyes. Pidge was smiling softly, their own eyes shining beneath their glasses. Hunk was sobbing, apologising every so often as he wiped away the tears. It was clear that Lance was loved in the ship; he just needed to accept it and use it to his advantage.

"I-I'm strong..." He muttered. "I can take on the Galra."

"Yeah," Pride filled Keith's voice. "Yeah, you can."

"I'm just going to check on Coran," Shiro announced with furrowed eyebrows. "This must be hard for him too."

 **** ****-

The sound of the alarm caused Lance and Keith to break apart. They had been in the middle of a training session with their weapons, both of them sweating profusely as they attempted to come out victorious. Lance's eyes widened and his hands moved to cover his ears but Keith grabbed his arm to stop him. "Lance?" He yelled over the ringing, eyebrows furrowed in sympathy.

"I- I'm not ready, Keith. I don't think-" Lance started, body tense. He pulled his arm out of Keith's grip and backed right up against the wall.

"Yes, you are ready. You can do this. I know you can."

"Keith, what if we lose the fight and it's all my fault?" Lance's wide, petrified eyes glanced upwards to meet Keith's, his breathing heavy as he was borderline hyperventilating.

"We won't." Keith grabbed Lance's arm, squeezing it softly as he pulled them both out of the training room. When they had to part, Keith pressed a quick kiss to Lance's cheek. "You can do this, okay? We can do this. This is your chance to get back at Gort. Channel that anger and use it in your favour."

As Keith took off towards Red, Lance stayed still for a moment. "I love you!" He ended up blurting out before his feet took him to Blue. He didn't hear Keith respond but he didn't need to: he knew Keith loved him too.

-

The battle was blazing, everyone using all of their strength to fight off the Galran sentries. Lance felt like he had reached his zen as he flew Blue, drifting to the side to attack at the ships. There were hundreds of them surrounding the lions but they knew they could handle it. It wasn't difficult to destroy the ships, meaning Lance was free from attack within a few doboshes. The others were too busy fighting off their own ships that they didn't notice when Blue got attacked out of nowhere. A large laser beam penetrated her, making Lance scream in pain. He buckled over in his seat, hands wrapped around his torso as light filled the lion. It wasn't long before the lion hit something and completely shut down. "K-Keith?" Lance choked out, trepidation filling his tone. "S-Shiro? Can anybody hear me?"

Tears were welling in his eyes but he refused to give up. He was stronger than that. He wrapped his mechanical hand around his bayard and stood up, ignoring the sharp pain running up his side. He stumbled to Blue's front, climbing out of the lion to examine his surroundings. It looked like he had collapsed on a barren planet. Luckily his armour was still intact, meaning the toxicity of the atmosphere wasn't much of a hindrance to him. Taking a few steps out, he looked around to see if there were any threats. It seemed he was alone until he heard his name being called. He turned around, eyes lying upon his two sworn enemies: Gort and Allura. He thought he was going to throw up just looking at them.

"Oh, sweetheart, look at yourself," Gort said, a large grin covering his face. Lance stiffened, stumbling backwards as his trembling hand still gripped the bayard. "They tried to fix you after everything I did to make you perfect..." The Galran soldier walked forward, so close to Lance that he could reach out and trace his cheek with his thumb. Lance flinched away from the touch. "Don't you want to come back with me? I'll make you a better soldier again."

Allura, who had up until that point stood in silence, also stepped forward and brought her hand through Lance's hair. All the paladin could do was stiffen up in response. "I think you should listen to Gort, love. The other paladins don't want you. You're a burden to them."

"I-I'm not anymore! I don't have as many panic atta-" Lance let out a whimper as Gort kicked his knee so he collapsed onto the ground. Both of his knees hit the sand of the planet's ground, making dust particles rise into the air.

"You'll never get better and you know it. You can't even look at swords without feeling sick. That will never go away and it will always hinder you from becoming the paladin Voltron want and need."

Everything was dancing around Lance, the world spinning around and around until Lance felt lightheaded. Gort and Allura's voices had merged together and he couldn't differentiate between them anymore. His breathing was irregular and he felt like he was on the verge of passing out. He was going to be captured again and he couldn't do anything about it. He was weak.

Then he remembered Shiro's strategies for dealing with PTSD. He told Lance how to breathe in a way that allowed him to slowly ground himself and breathe in a better, more regular pattern. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on inhaling and exhaling as opposed to Allura and Gort. It took a few long doboshes before he was able to take in his surroundings again. Gort and Allura were staring down at him but he still had his bayard in his hand.

Quick, he lifted the gun up and hit Gort on the head, causing him to stumble. That gave him enough time to stand up and dart backwards. He picked up into a run, trying to gain distance so that he could use his long-distance weapon. Sadly, Allura and Gort had a similar speed to him and he couldn't get far. He was beginning to panic again when he realised the distance he needed wasn't going to be able to be created.

Abandoning the gun, he clenched his mechanical arm into a fist. It began to glow a soft blue colour that matched his bayard which he didn't even know was possible. He swung and hit Allura right in the nose. She stumbled backwards, her hands flying up to cover her face. Her eyes glistened over in pain and her guard fell down enough for Lance to get that distance he needed. Ignoring Gort for a moment, he lifted up his bayard and sent a shot directed at Allura's chest. It hit her, causing her to collapse onto the floor, unconscious.

"You've grown up so much in such a short amount of time," Gort shouted, knowing full well the best way of getting to Lance was through words. Lance had the advantage in battle with a mechanical arm _and_ a blaster. All Gort had were his words and a long, broadsword. "I'm proud of you, sweetheart."

"Shut the fuck up!" Lance screamed, clenching a mechanical fist again.

"You don't really want to hurt me, do you? You know what the punishment for that is. I'd get out my knife and trace your arms- sorry, _arm_ , with it until your throat was hoarse from screaming... Then I would use that shock collar until you were begging me to stop. Tell me, what happened to the collar? It looked so pretty on you, sweetheart."

"S-Stop calling me that." The stammer was enough to alert Gort that he was getting to Lance. It pushed him forward and supplied him with the determination he needed to capture Lance as his own once again.

"Don't you like it? It suits you so much..." Gort raced forward and tackled Lance onto the ground. It caught the blue paladin off guard, meaning he easily dropped his bayard. It slid a few metres away from them both. "You just need to submit, sweetheart. I won't hurt you if you listen to me and you know it."

Lance struggled but Gort just grabbed Lance's wrists and pinned them above his head. Lance screamed in the Galran soldier's face but it didn't catch him off guard at all. Tears were streaming down his face as he tried to escape from the restraints that reminded him of being back on the Galran ship. He turned his head and let out a shaky breath, trying his hardest to remain grounded. If he panicked, Gort would win.

"That arm looks awfully beautiful on you, doesn't it? I bet Voltron enjoyed giving it to you. Maybe they secretly thanked me and Haggar for removing your human arm..."

"T-They wouldn't b-be grateful, you bastard!"

"You've got your confidence back, I see... We'll have to get rid of that again. We can't have you making silly retorts to everything anymore. You know how annoying that is. It just gets you punished." Gort reached for the sword on his back and pressed it up against Lance's left arm. Lance couldn't afford to move, in case Gort impaled him. "Maybe we could get rid of this arm too. Then you'd become even more beautiful."

"N-No- You wouldn't..."

"I would and we both know it. We could just skip over the pain if you just come with me back to my ship..."

"I- I won't-"

"I see..." Gort pressed the sword into Lance's skin as he screamed loudly. The barren planet meant it all went unheard by everyone besides themselves. Lance refused to give up, despite the blinding pain running through his body. "I'll stop this... all you need to do is come with me."

"P-Please!" He screeched, hoping for the pain to stop just long enough for him to form a plan. He couldn't think when a knife was being thrust into his arm.

"Please what, sweetheart? Use your words for me."

"I'll come... come with you."

Gort leaned forward as he pulled the sword away from Lance's arm, whispering, "That's my good boy." Lance's entire body stiffened up at the nickname but he didn't allow it to faze him for too long. As soon as Gort let his guard down to stand up, Lance kneed him in the crotch, hoping the Galras were just as sensitive there as humans. Gort let out a deep yelp, falling to the side and opening up an opportunity for Lance to roll to the side. He grabbed his bayard and ran backwards, holding up the weapon as he tried to aim. Gort was still on the ground, giving him a clean shot, right through his head. Purple blood spilled onto the ground as Lance breathed heavily, eyeing the two bodies. He had just killed his two enemies. All by himself.

Lance turned his head, nausea coursing through him. He thought he was going to throw up when his name was called from behind him. He swerved around to see Keith and Shiro running in his direction. Hunk and Pidge weren't far behind, just landing the green and yellow lions. Lance rushed into their arms before heaving out a loud sob into Keith's chest. "I- I killed them..." He muttered, voice muffled by Keith's armour.

When they retracted from the hug, Lance refused to look any of them in the eye. Shiro was rubbing his back and Keith was holding Lance's mechanical arm. Hunk was inspecting the wound on Lance's left arm, frowning as he did so.

"What happened?" Keith asked in a soft voice, hoping not to panic the blue paladin any more than needed.

"A-Allura was here with Gort when I crashed..." Lance murmured, hanging his head and staring down at the sand. Droplets of his blood had tainted the musty orange into a dark red. "They- They tried to take me again but- but I didn't want to go. I managed to shoot Allura but G-Gort pinned me down. I was so- so scared..."

"Hey, hey," Keith pulled Lance closer to him again, allowing the blue paladin to breathe in his musky scent. "It's okay. You're safe now. They're gone and they won't ever be able to hurt you again."

"Am I a-as bad as them? I _killed_ them, Keith. Gort must have h-had a family and oh- oh..." Lance's sobs increased in volume whilst Keith whispered words of comfort to him.

"You're safe, Lance. I promise. They did bad things and they had killed people too but you are not like them. We both know you would never harm anyone innocent for fun. You only hurt people when it's necessary and when they've done bad things."

"B-But..."

"Lance, you've been through a lot. It's understandable that you blame yourself. Lots of people who experience trauma do. Trust me, I blame myself for... for the mission to Kerberos almost every day. I think about how I could have done things differently and protected Pidge's family but- but I didn't. I can't change things. Deep down, I know I couldn't have done anything. It's not my fault, just like this isn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong." Shiro's voice was smaller than Lance had ever heard it but it was soothing. He wiped away a tear with his mechanical arm.

"And you've probably protected loads of people by killing them," Hunk interjected with a small, hesitant smile. "I'm sure Allura and Gort would have gone on to torture more innocent people so you stopped them. You've saved people, Lance. You're amazing."

"Yeah, what Hunk said," Pidge chipped in. "You've been through so much and you've improved. You're so much better. You hardly have panic attacks anymore and that's impressive. I know how hard everything has been for you so I'm proud of you for making this far. We are all proud of you."

Lance sniffed, more tears welling in his eyes for a completely different reason. A pair of arms other than Keith's wrapped around him, following by two more pairs. He let out a soft cry as he buried his head further into Keith's chest and breathed in the smell of all of his friends. He knew he was safe with them. They would protect him until the end of time and he would protect them too. No matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end. Thank you for reading this book; I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it :)


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